Heart Attack!

Today we are attacking the heart.  The Bible tells us that the heart of man is sinful and wicked.  Contrary to the world's sage wisdom it cannot be trusted to guide us or give us good or wise counsel. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own under­standing... Proverbs 3:5 (NASB)

You must realize the heart has been affected by the fall. What Adam and Eve did in the Garden killed us. The human heart has been badly affected...devastatingly affected... deadly affected. Look what the Apostle Paul says,  

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23 (NIV)

But in realizing just how bad the bad news is, we also recognize there is hope. There is hope for sinful man and his bad heart. There is hope for the person who has truly received Christ as Savior and Lord. The Bible declares that a person who has been “born-again” has a new heart that did not previously exist.

Therefore, if any man is in Christ he is a new creature, the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.  2 Corinthians 5:17 (NASB)

This means that the Holy Spirit will apply re­demption to your hearts; thus, enabling you to live a life pleasing to Him as you put off your old habits of the heart and put on new habits of the heart.

Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23 (NASB)

And I will give you a new heart with new and right desires, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony heart of sin and give you a new, obedient heart. Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT)

For all have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Romans 3:23 (NLT)

Psalm 51 is the account of David “a man after God’s own heart” who sinned greatly in his life. Take a few minutes and read this Psalm in your own Bible.  You will see that this wise man recognized that he was in deep trouble. He knew his sin had separated him from God. It wasn’t just the sin he committed at that time, but he admits he “was born a sinner.” He understands there will be judgment for his sin and he asks for pardon from his sins, for redemption, salvation.

First Corinthians 6:9-10 tell us that because of all their sin the unsaved will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NIV)

To not “inherit the kingdom of God” means that you will be eternally separated from Him. When you take your last breath you will be lost and without hope for all eternity. There will be no second chance or reprieve.

Perhaps you have heard this before and discounted it. I would urge you not to harden your heart today.

Before you can fully appreciate the good news found in Christ alone, you have to first grasp just how bad the bad news is and realize your desperate lost condition.

The good news is that Jesus Christ came to redeem sinners, and to set us free from the penalty of sin and death. God has provided a way for you to be made right with Him through Jesus Christ.

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:21 (NLT)

The only way to be made right with God is through Jesus Christ. It is essential that you understand and believe that there is nothing you can do to save your­self.

...the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. Romans 8:7-8 (NIV)

Without Christ it is impossible to submit to God or obey Him

Once you were dead, doomed forever because of your many sins. You used to live just like the rest of the world, full of sin, obeying Satan, the mighty prince of the power of the air. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passions and desires of our evil nature. We were born with an evil nature, and we were under God’s anger just like everyone else. Ephesians 2:1-3 (NLT)

God saved you by his special favor (grace)when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. Ephesians 2:8-9 (NLT)

Salvation is a gift of God that we receive by faith. You must believe that you are a sinner in need of salvation, there is no way to save yourself from the penalty of your sin, and believe that Jesus Christ came to pay the penalty for it by giving His life for you on the cross.

The Heart of Man

For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, for­nications, thefts, murders, adulteries, ... Mark 7:21 (NASB)

Last time I challenged you to do more with what I wrote than just read it over and move on. I challenged you to be a Berean and study these things out for yourselves. The biblical study of the heart is one of the most important studies you can have! As you study what the Bible says about the heart you will see that Jesus Himself reveals the true condition of men’s hearts. He speaks about the heart many times as do the other New Testament authors. 

Contrary to popular belief, to follow your heart is not a good thing! It is in fact a very bad idea! 

The heart of man is not “basically good” but seriously flawed and utterly corrupt, and without the grace of God, will remain so. Since Adam all men and women are sinners by nature and by choice, so it would be accurate to describe ourselves as basically de­praved and not basically good (See Romans 3:9-18, 23; 5:10-12).

Proverbs indicates it is folly to trust in one own’s heart:

He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered. Proverbs. 28:26 (NASB)

Instead, we are to trust in the Lord (and His Word) and not rely on our hearts.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own under­standing... Proverbs 3:5 (NASB)

You must realize the heart has been affected by the fall. But in realizing just how bad the bad news is, we also recognize there is hope. There is hope for sinful man and his bad heart. There is hope for the person who has truly received Christ as Savior and Lord. The Bible declares that a person who has been “born-again” has a new heart that did not previously exist.

Therefore, if any man is in Christ he is a new creature, the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.  2 Corinthians 5:17 (NASB)

This means that the Holy Spirit will apply re­demption to your hearts; thus, enabling you to live a life pleasing to Him as you put off your old habits of the heart and put on new habits of the heart.

Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23 (NASB)

And I will give you a new heart with new and right desires, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony heart of sin and give you a new, obedient heart. Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT)

The reason we need a new heart is tomorrow's topic. See you then! 

Can I Trust My Heart?

The problems people face are found in either the outer man or the inner man. The inner man refers to thoughts, desires, will, emotions, as well as his spirit. The outer man is the physical—that part of man that is subject to decay. 

Therefore, we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16 (NASB)

All the aspects of the inner man are captured by the word “heart.” Thayer’s Greek Dictionary defines heart like this:

2b1) kardia-the soul or mind, as it is the fountain and seat of the thoughts, passions, desires, appetites, affections, purposes, endeavours 2b3) of the will and character 2b4) of the soul so far as it is affected and stirred in a bad way or good, or of the soul as the seat of the sensibilities, affections, emotions, desires, appetites, passions.

From these considerations we can clearly see that the heart and soul are one and the same thing, and by no means is the word “heart” confined to mean, “how we feel.” What makes matters worse is that when we trust our feelings in order to make decisions or “speak truth to us” we often rationalize sin. For example, how many Christian divorces have taken place because the feeling of love is not what it used to be? How many Christians equate feelings of sadness with, “I must be sick or have some sort of depression disorder?” How many people make decisions based on the fuzziness of “following your heart?”

For example, as a biblical counselor I have had people tell me they have made a certain decision because they prayed about it and, “had a peace in their heart.” This is the Christian version of following your heart. A couple of examples I’ve seen are starting a business that failed or making a move that bordered on the irrational.

The language reflects a subjective, experiential, feelings-approach to life rather than a solid, scriptural approach to life.  

A biblical understanding of the heart is necessary before we can understand how to change to glorify God. But we also need to understand our true heart’s condi­tion so that we see our desperate need for a Savior and His righteousness.

It is very popular today in many churches to say that man (and his soul) is basically good. The notion that man is basically good is perpetrated in the church by a psychologized gospel that exalts man. One popular poll asked professing evangelicals if man was basically good or bad. The astounding results showed that 77% believed man was basically good. Perhaps we should not be surprised by this as many preachers are preaching messages that are based on making people “feel good” about themselves.

Man was created by God in His image. The Scripture teaches that man was cre­ated sin-free and has a rational nature, intelligence, a will, and moral responsi­bility (Gen. 1:26-28). But being created in the image of God does not mean that man is basically good by nature.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God and lost their innocence (Rom. 5:12). Man was guilty of sin and incurred the penalty of spiritual and physical death becoming subject to God’s wrath because God cannot tolerate sin. Man then became in­herently corrupt and totally incapable of choosing or doing that which is accept­able to God apart from divine grace (Rom. 5:19). Man, thereby, has no power within himself to recover and is hopelessly lost. Historically, this radical cor­ruption of the soul has been called “total inability.”

Wayne Grudem notes in his commentary on Ephesians 4:18 that total inability does not mean that every person is as bad as he or she might be, for God’s common grace restrains unredeemed sinners from fully realizing their sinful potential. Every person has the potential for even the worst of sins, since every aspect of a person was affected by the fall (will, emo­tions, thoughts, etc.). Scripture (see Romans 12:16) indicates we are inclined to think too highly of ourselves and our “goodness.” We are more prideful than we want to believe!

We find the true condition of the heart in Scripture.

Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continu­ally. Genesis 6:5 (NASB)

This is one of the strongest and clearest statements about man’s sinful nature. The people of Noah’s day were exceedingly wicked from the inside out. Why? Because the fall affected every aspect of the heart.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9 (NKJV)

The prophet Jeremiah declares the heart is deceitful above all things and desper­ately wicked. At the very least it means our hearts cannot be trusted. Yet, in our culture we constantly hear from psychology that we are to follow our hearts, make the right heart choice, or are told your heart can be trusted to guide you.

When these things are said, they are, in fact, equating feelings with the heart. Clearly, that notion is contradicted directly by what God says - do not trust your heart emotions because they are deceitful and cannot be trusted to lead you.

For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, for­nications, thefts, murders, adulteries, ... Mark 7:21 (NASB)


Think about these things...this may be the first time you have heard these truths and perhaps this has rocked your world! Be a Berean and study these things, and learn what the Bible says about the heart. This is the first step toward true and lasting change in your life! 

Words Matter

Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts. 1 John 5:21 (NLT)

I think a lot about idolatry. I think about the things I worship and I think about the things my counselees worship. Much of what I deal with in counseling is issues of idolatry that manifest themselves in actions such as sexual immorality, excessive spending, deception, outbursts of anger and rage, drunkenness and drug abuse.  

We know these particular issues are idolatrous because they are rooted in a heart that worships self.  Furthermore, we know that a person who worships self is very clued in to how they feel on a moment by moment basis.  They will frequently talk about how they just feel this or just feel that; and nearly 100% of the time they misuse the word “feel” in their disclosure.

What a person really is trying to tell me is they think, believe, or desire something that is very important to them but they have been conditioned by our culture to feel it rather than correctly articulating it as a thought, belief, or desire. 

Well you might be wondering, “So what?”  Who really cares how a person expresses themselves? Does it really matter?  I am here to tell you, “Yes. It really does matter.”

Words matter.  What you say and how you say what you say really does matter!  Words can reinforce lies that we tell ourselves and lead us further into unbelief or other sin. Words can harden the heart of the listener, and words can shipwreck your life (James 3).

Using clear and concise words help us to determine if something is biblical or unbiblical, sinful or not sinful, idolatrous or not idolatrous. This is why I am so firm on identifying things as thoughts, beliefs and desires instead of feelings.

What is the difference between a desire and a feeling? Can it be both? Yes, it can be both.

Thayer’s Dictionary of Scripture defines our desires in various ways that boil down to desires being either a particular mode of thinking or judging or cravings that can be either good (food) or bad (lust).  

A counselee must be able to support their desire as biblical with Scripture (in context). This is important because emotions can lead one to justify their desire for certain things. Yet feelings prove unreliable as a method of living life to glorify God. We often wrongly believe we “deserve” things for unbiblical reasons. Our wrong beliefs can lead us to wrong emotions.

We are to place our desires and wants on the altar of sacrifice to God.  Surrender them to Him for His approval and then act in obedient response to the will of God.

This is the action step of change.  If we do not take this most important step of acting on our new beliefs or understandings, than the rest is useless. Please do not fall into the trap of thinking that just knowing about it is enough, we must act on what is right!

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask? Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God trans­form you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. Romans 12:1-2 (NLT)

The idolater has had little difficulty with worship; it is just that the object of worship is wrongly directed. We have provided Scriptural admonition and some practical application for action, but how can one be taught to fall in love with God?

The short answer is we can’t! Numerous passages in the Old Testament recount God commanding Israel to love Him (Deut. 6:5; 11:1, 13, 22; 13:3; 19:9; 30:6, 16; Josh. 22:5; 23:11) and to demonstrate their love by being faithful to Him and worshiping Him only. They were a dismal failure at this! We are incapable of worshiping God or loving Him without the enablement of the Holy Spirit.

Allow me to draw you a word picture what this might look like; we are to dis­play the evidence of the love of Christ in our actions. This love should well up within us like a geyser and overflow onto the lives of others! Because of all that Christ has done for us, and all that we are in Christ, we are to continually reflect glory to God through worship as we obey the Word, serve others, demonstrate forbearance, and overlook hurtful offenses and so on. This is worship as we pas­sionately live life for His glory!

Often those people who benefit from the reflection of our love for Jesus Christ are people who we have conflict with: our spouses with whom we have discord, children who are ungrateful, or co-workers and employers who take advantage of us. Our view of their response to our graciousness changes radically when our motive for doing these things changes. You see, if I am serving others for the glory of God, then does it matter if I am appreciated? If I am obeying and submitting to a harsh authority because of Christ, and because it pleases Him, then is it going to be bearable?

I maintain that when my goal for all I do in life is to glorify God then nothing else matters. God receives my spiritual acts of worship (Romans 12:1), and I experience joy because man’s response just doesn’t matter anymore! It has ceased to be about me and my feelings and my wants and my perceived needs, and it is now all about Him. It is how I can bring Him glory in daily living. 

Grace Glorifies God

Grace is given to us because it glorifies God to do so, not because we are deserving, special, or worthy.  Have you ever thought about what a marvelous thing it is that God chooses to bring Himself glory by saving us? 

John Piper says, "Grace is not simply leniency when we have sinned. Grace is the enabling gift of God not to sin.  Grace is power, not just pardon. Therefore, the effort we make to obey God is not an effort done in our own strength, but in the strength which God supplies."

God demonstrates grace to us because He is holy and cannot tolerate our sinfulness.  I have written before that in the Bible you don’t read about the cherubim and seraphim surrounding the throne of God and saying, “wonderful, wonderful, wonderful” or, “faithful, faithful, faithful.” They say, “holy, holy, holy” when speaking of God. He is a holy God and we would be foolish to think that sinfulness on any level is acceptable to God.

Our unholiness demanded a stiff redemptive price - the blood of Christ. Our unholiness is the reason we need grace unto salvation. We are completely and totally unworthy of what we have received. It is in seeing our unworthiness that we can begin to have a glimpse of just exactly why we are to demonstrate grace to those who have hurt us so deeply.

In those painful relationships when we show grace to those who don’t deserve it, it is important to realize it may not make one bit of difference in how we are treated by them and it may not change any manner of response by the offender.

What we will experience is freedom from bitterness. In spite of the rotten way we may continue to be treated, we will see God working in our lives as a result of responding in a Christ-like manner.

When helping others to understand this, make it a goal to help them to get their focus off “self” and onto what God is doing in their heart and life as they step out in faith and obedience to the call of Christ.  Remind them the goal is not to end the suffering, but to glorify God as they are suffering. 

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.   2 Corinthians 9:8 (NKJV)

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”   2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV)

Grace is sufficient. So many times I hear people say they don’t think they can do it - they can’t bear up under the strain or under the persecution.  They tell me how weak they are, and I tell them to rejoice in that weakness! Because then they can really see that it is not them doing it - it is Christ! The grace of God is enough to carry them through! Grace is sufficient, and it is enough. If it were not enough, God would have made a better provision.

I also have to remind myself that God’s grace will be present in abundance when I need it and not before. I cannot store up grace for a rainy day like I can my pennies; it will be sufficient and not lacking anything in that moment.  

The Price is Paid

A woman once came to me and told me she had been unfaithful to her husband. Another told me she had an abortion, and yet another told me she had been intimate with many men. All of these actions took place before these women were Christians and yet all of these women struggled with remaining guilt and shame. None of them said they experienced freedom in their Christian lives, and they all said they felt used, dirty and damaged. 

Such is the state of our world. In this generation of “free love” and “easy sex” we find things are not so easy, and all these things have a price to be paid. 

Each of them tell me that they cannot forgive themselves these past indiscretions, and in the case of the woman who aborted her child, she says she cannot forgive herself of killing the child. 

All the women are church going women who hide behind a mask of fear of being exposed. They fear someone, anyone finding out who they are and what they have done so they isolate. They may attend your Bible study or small group or prayer circle but let me assure you, they are very alone, trapped in a secret world of pain. 

They do penance of various kinds, wrongly thinking that some sort of restitution is needed and required by God. One woman promotes marriage weekends, another volunteers at the crisis pregnancy center, and the last one works in youth group hoping to steer young woman away from her path of promiscuity. 

These women need to realize that help and hope and healing are available to them in Christ. This business of forgiving yourself is not a biblical principle. No where in the Bible do we find Jesus telling anyone to forgive themselves. The women I wrote about today have read the account of the adulterous woman in John 8, and are familiar with Mary Magdalene, and the woman who wept at the feet of Jesus.None of these women asked Jesus how to forgive herself, they sought His forgiveness. When they received it, they obeyed His command to sin no more in this manner. They became His followers and lived their lives for Him. 

We could learn a lot from these women and their immediate response to Jesus. When Jesus forgave them, it was done. His forgiveness was complete and total. When He forgave you, it was finished the ransom was paid and you were freed! 

Oh, but you feeeel like you must do something, it is too easy to just place it at the foot of the cross, you must pay a price or have a penalty- something! The guilty feelings that you hang on to that you somehow believe will help atone for your sin are actually adding sin to your heart and life! 

To ever think that you can add anything to His payment for your sin or to think you’re your self abuse will obtain forgiveness is blasphemy. If Jesus’ sacrifice was incomplete, our redemption is not assured and God is a liar. 

The Stranglehold of Worry

I saw a picture of a young celebrity on television the other day. She is only in her mid-twenties but looks much older than her years. Her face has been hardened by surgical intervention, botox (I imagine), and rough living.   I thought it was a shame to see someone so young look as though she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. 


I see other women who appear to also be carrying a heavy load on their shoulders. I can see it in their faces too; the lines of worry and fear have etched their way deep into the softness of their cheeks and foreheads.  There is so much fear and worry in our lives today! The financial picture for many families continues to get darker, prices keep going up, income is unsure beyond the money you have in your pocket.  


We are fed stories of impending doom and ruin all day long from all forms of media; and add into the mix the statistics about sickness and disease of one form or another and we have ourselves a hot mess of anxiety. 


I could focus on a number of areas of fear, worry, and anxiety; but today I am going to aim at what seems to be an obsession with health and youth for many women: women have become very fearful of growing old and looking their age. 


Before I go further, I will get the log out of my own eye:  I am not wild about getting old, I color my hair because I don't want to be grey, I eat carefully to hold off the effects of aging and illness, and I walk 30 minutes in the mornings (when it is not bad weather) because it is good for my legs. I would consider those reasonable things to do, and those are not the kinds of things I have in mind to talk about today. 


What concerns me is the absolute obsession I have seen develop in women regarding health and vitamins and holistic living. 


Jesus said, “For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. “For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing." Luke 12:22-23 (NASB) 


When Jesus speaks about worrying, He is referring to the amount of time a person spends focusing on something in an obsessive manner. It occupies their thoughts a large amount of time, and "How I feel," "How I look" and "What is wrong with me" becomes the focus in life. This kind of thinking truly does have a stranglehold over many Christian women today. They are wasting precious hours ruminating on what ails them and how they feel, and throwing precious dollars away on doctor after doctor only to walk away frustrated after being told there is nothing wrong with them. 


I am not saying don't get check-ups or go ahead and throw common sense to the wind and eat as you please. We have been given stewardship over our physical body and it is right that we take care of it as the temple of the Holy Spirit. The body is a vessel to be used for the intended ministry of God. 


What I am saying that there is far too much emphasis being placed on the physical life and the mis-belief that you can add one minute or day to your life through organic food and vitamins.  


“And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span?" Luke 12:25 (NASB) 


Health and longevity of life have become an idol to many women today. For some, it is because they do not understand God.  God always completes His plans for the days of our lives and it is important to realize that we cannot prolong or shorten the appointed day of our death. For others it is the belief that they can somehow control the outcome, and alter God's plan and the timing of their own demise. 


This world is not our home, and we are not intended to build our hopes and dreams upon what it has to offer us. This world is a lay-over as we wait to be called to the final part of the journey- heaven!  Jesus is teaching us that our time here is to be spent in greater pursuits than personal health and being a display for some designer clothes. We have a purpose here, and we can trust that God will keep us here long enough to fulfill it. He is a faithful God. 


Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:1-3 (NASB) 


The focus of the Christian woman is to be on Christ during her time here on earth. The precious hours of the day are to be used to further the gospel and seeking things above, not things of vanity. We are to seek to honor Christ and in so doing we will empty ourselves of selfish desires and idolatry of heart. We will become passionate about what God is passionate about- the eternal things that will affect the souls of others. This is our calling, this is our quest- proclaiming Christ. 

Conflict and the Rules of Engagement

Today's post is by my friend and fellow Biblical Counselor, Pastor Bruce Roeder.  He is a frequent guest blogger on my site and ladies, you will benefit from his wisdom today.   Bruce is the Pastor of Discipleship at Missio Dei Fellowship in Kenosha, WI. 

Church conflicts are not always resolved in a gospel-centered way.  If they were God would certainly be pleased since He says in His word that the church's oneness bears testimony to Jesus Christ to the world.

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. (John 17:20-21 ESV)

The problem of course is sin and how sin interferes with what the rules ought to be in order to resolve a conflict that glorifies God. If Christians cannot agree on what the gospel-centered "rules of conflict engagement" are in the first place the there is little hope for a gospel-centered resolution in the second place.

When this happens the best one can hope for is a kind of truce. Truces are nice because they are better than open warfare. Still, since the underlying sin causes of the conflict are not dealt with (repented of) the truce is a sham since open warfare can flare up easily and the conflict resumed.

In a worse case scenario the relationship fails and a separation occurs and that communicates something to the world about what the gospel means in practice to Christians.

We serve a Savior who came to bring peace between God and sinful man and he has appointed us as his ambassadors to do the same with the world; yet we cannot settle our conflicts between ourselves because we cannot agree on the rules of engagement.  (2 Cor. 5:14-21)

This is why a ministry like Peacemakers can be helpful. They have a record of success but that's only because willing Christians agree to what the rules are and they agree to abide by them in advance.

To nail down the sin problem with a bit more precision we might start with the concept of "ego." Ego is not a biblical word but the concept of ego is. Here's a dictionary definition of ego:

1.       the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.

2.       Psychoanalysis . the part of the psychic apparatus that experiences and reacts to the outside world and thus mediates between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social and physical environment

3.       egotism; conceit; self-importance: Her ego becomes more unbearable each day.

4.       self-esteem or self-image; feelings: Your criticism wounded his ego.

While definitions #1 and #2 are derived from psychology and not real helpful, definitions #3 and #4 seem to be biblical because they work to define pride.

Egotism speaks directly to the biblical concept of pride, arrogance and conceit. A person characterized as an egotist has an over inflated view of self and just how important one is. His attitude is made manifest by arrogance and conceit especially in the midst of a conflict since it is in a conflict where true character is likely to emerge.

A self-important Christian egotist would not agree with the apostle Paul:

The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. (1 Timothy 1:15 ESV)

The self-important Christian egotist might pay lip-service to the concept but in reality would only agree to Paul's words in a non-specific manner. In other words, they would say, "yes, I am the foremost of sinners but have nothing specific to say about my sin in this conflict."

This does not mean that just because a person is accused of a specific sin they are guilty of a specific sin. There is such a thing as a false accusation or exaggerated accusation.

But as someone once said, if one person accuses you of having a tail you might blow them off; but if two people notice a tail you should at least turn around and look.

The saying is in keeping with what Jesus says in Matthew 18 in the church discipline process as well as what Paul says when he speaks of making an accusation against an elder (1 Tim. 5:19).

The egotist will not turn around and look voluntarily.

The fourth definition of ego explains why seeing oneself as the foremost of sinners is necessary to resolve a conflict.

To admit error, to admit sin in a specific way is not "good" for one's self-esteem but it is good for the soul. As the example in the definition shows criticism wounds one's pride. It's the attitude of "certainly I cannot be wrong" or at least "I may a little wrong but you are more wrong than I am." A conflict will never be resolved in a gospel-centered way as long as one of the parties holds to that attitude even if one is more guilty than another. Paul saw himself as the foremost of sinners even though he was fully aware their were worse sinners than he. Paul was concerned about his ego and pride and this allowed him to approach conflict with humility.

The self-centered "me at the center of the universe" attitude is the very opposite of Paul's. What enabled Paul to see himself as the foremost of sinners was the fact that Christ was at the center of his universe (Php. 3:8).

Recently, I became aware of a major conflict between C.J. Mahaney and others formerly connected with Sovereign Grace. I do not pretend to understand the issues so I have no opinion as to what is going on behind the scenes to resolve the conflict.

I do know what needs to happen first. In order to receive grace in the second place one must lay aside ego in the first place. One must have the attitude of the apostle Paul. Paul's attitude is the means of grace to resolve a conflict.

But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

(James 4:6 ESV)

Without humility that is genuine there is no hope for a conflict resolution that bears witness to Jesus Christ at work in His church. While the protagonists in this conflict may not agree on using Peacemakers to resolve the conflict they must agree on some rules to resolve it at all. My prayer for this ministry that I've admired in the past would agree that James 4:6 is the rule that needs to be applied first.

Showing the world what the gospel looks like in practice is what is at stake.

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. (John 17:20-21 ESV)

Are You Going Through the Motions?

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do. Hebrew 4:12-13 (NASB)

As I was reading Hebrews 4 recently, I was struck by the commentary on today's verse. It reads in part, "Some...were merely going through the motions of belonging to Christ. Intellectually they were at least partly persuaded, but inside they were not committed to Him."*

This got me to thinking...how many who avoid His Word do so because they are going through the motions of Christianity and are not fully persuaded to embrace the gospel because of the changes it will bring? How many have a form of godliness and yet do not avail themselves of the power of the cross? 

I am aware that many Christians struggle with reading the Word of God. I think at times we would rather be doing something else and find reasons not to pick up the Bible and read and study it. However, this is not the norm for the Believer who has a growing relationship with Christ.  

The growing Christian desires to read the Word and impart its truths to their heart. There is a genuine love for those truths and a sense of loss and what I would call loneliness when too much time has gone by without reading and meditating on the Scriptures. 

The Word of God is intended to prick the heart and the conscience of the reader.   The Word of God makes us transparent before Him.  It is from the Word we receive conviction and from reading the Bible that the heart is laid bare. It is precisely because of that transparency that many avoid a daily Bible time. It is much easier to hide behind a mask of Christianity than it is to actually be a Christian.

Being a Christian means that you must change, and the change is total and complete. The change is intended to take you as you are and transform you into someone else.  That is the meaning behind Romans 12:2; a total and complete transformation from who we were at the moment of conversion.

The Word truly does cut through the baloney that comprises so much of today's "christianity" and that makes people uncomfortable.  You see, we all want to look changed on the outside so behaviors are changed and the appearance of conforming to Christ-likeness takes place.  

Often enough truth is absorbed through Sunday sermons and perhaps a Bible study or small group to aid in surface changes, but there is little depth to this kind of Christianity.  The hard truth is that so many people do not truly want to be changed; they are comfortable with who they are and the lives they lead.  Surface change is enough and they are in a very real sense just going through the motions.

Internalizing the Scriptures will reveal shallow beliefs and expose the heart of unbelief.  The reality is that a person knows that there is no hiding the truth from God or from them about what they believe under the light of God’s Word so they simply avoid its convicting truths.

Please don’t avoid the Truth, cease to avoid the Holy Spirit and His convicting power. Return to the Word and let it affect your heart and spill over into changing your life!

*John MacArthur Study Bible, commentary on Hebrews 4:12, New King James Version of the Bible 

Addiction is Idolatry

Our modern day world wants us to believe that it is a disease that we are saddled with for the rest of our lives and that is simply not the case! I will amplify that answer at another time, because today I want to focus on the reality that drunkenness and drug abuse, overeating, sexual immorality of all kinds, gambling, shopping, and greed are all placed in the same category by God in the Bible- sin. Colossians 3:5 calls this sort of stuff idolatry.

Therefore, consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. Colossians 3:5 (NASB) 

Idolatry is the worship of anything other than God. You can worship God or the created object or person. Romans 1 clearly states that the wrath of God falls on those who worship things other than God (Romans 1:23-25). We are all sadly in the mode of idol worship every day! We don't think of it in those terms of course, we say things like, "I prefer to.." "I chose..." "I decided..." and by our words we negate what is really going on in our hearts- idolatry.

We practice idolatry when we decide to sleep in Sunday morning instead of going to worship service, or when we choose to watch our favorite morning show instead of reading the Bible or praying. Get the idea?

Those who do anything to excess are engaging in a worship disorder (idolatry). They quickly find that what they once controlled now controls them. What they once loved for enjoyment they now crave to get through the day. It becomes bondage not pleasure. You must bow at the altar of whatever your drug of choice is- alcohol, drugs, food, excitement, pleasure, money, sex...

You may tell me that no one chooses to be an addict. No one would ever choose such a hell on purpose. Oh really? You may say that a person with an addiction as disease is not responsible for their choice or decision to use (fill in the blank) and here lies the controversy between the disease orientated folks and those who see it as the Bible sees it.

The things we worship (with the exception of people) do not have the ability to influence us. It is the heart of man that lusts after what the object can provide for us that causes all the problems! James says it this way;

"Temptation comes from the lure of our own evil desires. These evil desires lead to evil actions, and evil actions lead to death. So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters." James 1:14

Temptations (cravings) are both physical and spiritual. We are going to look at the cravings that are not related to physical addiction, and assume for our purposes that the person has completed the withdrawal process already. The substance is no longer in the body.

The Biblical model has an answer and explanation as to why we crave our vices. We struggle with craving things because we continue to desire them in our hearts. We love the feelings they bring us, the soothing of our emotions, the relaxation or the escape. While we have discontinued the physical relationship we had with that substance we maintain the emotional one. This is where the connection to the heart comes in.

The heart of the addict/alcoholic is focused on self. Their thoughts, beliefs and desires are honed in on meeting their own perceived needs of escape, fun, pleasure, or whatever

The thoughts are: 

•         I must have relief
•          I am entitled to relief
•          I must escape
•          I want to feel better
•          I want to feel nothing

These thoughts lead to actions like: 

•      Drinking after work
•      Using drugs recreationally 
•      Drinking to escape problems
•      Selling drugs
•      Drunk driving
•      Prostitution for drugs 

The heart of the addict does not care how his or her actions are hurting their loves ones. They don’t care if their spouse or their kids are waiting for them at home for dinner, or at a school event. What they want is to drink or drug and that is all that is important.

When confronted by their loved ones about their behavior they may express remorse and promise to change, but the love of self quickly leads them back to worship of self and back out to drink or drug.

They are experts at blame shifting- If their addiction brings them an OWI it is not their fault, it is the stupid cop who pulled them over. It is the boss who ticked them off at work today and made them need a drink. It is the stress of this or that that led them to take a few pills or smoke a few joints to relax.

If they get sent to jail it is the fault of the unjust legal system. Their only motive is to satisfy their own desires. 

They are selfish and unloving toward people who love and care for them. Husbands, wives, children and parents all take a back seat to their first love, which is their substance of choice.

To cure the heart of addiction, you must help them to realize that they are nothing more than idolaters. They have to see that their drinking is not the problem, their heart is the problem! The drinking and drugs are an overflow of what is in the heart (thoughts, beliefs, desires) being lived out through the body. This is key to get the counselee to understand.

A good definition of idolatry is when you are willing to sin to get what you want.

Are you willing to sin to get relief from pain, to be happy, or to attain any of the other feelings mentioned above? If having your felt needs met has become so important to you that you are willing to violate God’s Word to have them, then you have crossed the line from desire to worship.

These questions will help the counselee to understand that the heart has to be changed before the desire to drink or drug will be affected. 

Begin to admit the sin of idolatry exists in your heart. Admission is the first step, but removing the idols in your heart and life is an ongoing process. If you have struggled with idolatry for a long time, you have habits that are deeply ingrained.

Identify exactly what you want that you are not getting. Some examples would be feeling better or having a better day.

•  Identify if your desire is biblical and be able to support it with Scripture (in context). This is important because emotions can lead us to justify our desire for certain things. Yet feelings prove unreliable as a method of living life to glorify God.
• Place your desires and wants on the altar of sacrifice to God. Romans 12:1-2 (NLT)
• God wants to change the way you think, which will change the way you live. Reject the thoughts of what you want and desire for each day. 
• Begin to obey God by fulfilling the One Another commands on Scripture. Take your focus off yourself, begin to live for Christ and serve your family, church, or friends.

The more you begin to prayerfully desire to include the “one another’s” in your life, the less your focus will be on indulging and worshiping yourself.