Moving Beyond Adultery

Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life. 1 Timothy 1:16


My most recent book, Living Beyond the Heart of Betrayal was written for those whose spouse has been unfaithful or is involved in some kind of sexual sin.  Over the past several years there has been an onslaught of women whose husbands admitted to being involved in an adulterous relationship or enslaved to pornography. 

The women are of course devastated by his admission and are seeking help to deal with their anger, hurt, and betrayal.

There is really no easy way to address these issues, because adultery rips the guts out of the marriage. The above responses are typical for the spouse who has been sinned against by adultery.

The progression of events begins with the revelation of the adultery through admission or by being caught. Once the sin is brought to light the spouse who has been sinned against typically looks for the details of the "affair." It is difficult to understand why it is so important to know these details, but for many spouses it is of great importance. However, each new revelation only increases the hurt and pain, and as the pain level increases so does the anger and realization of horrendous betrayal.

The anger is directed in a variety of directions beyond the cheating spouse and the other person. Often, the spouse blames themselves for not being "better" or more alert to subtle changes in their husband or wife. Sometimes they blame God, wondering why He would allow such a thing to happen to them. If friends were aware that things didn't seem quite right they can also be the recipient of anger by the offended spouse.

Anytime adultery takes place the marriage covenant is broken. Biblically, this can free the offended spouse to divorce their cheating husband or wife (Matt. 19:8) if they so choose to do so. Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of the heart of the one who was betrayed but it was not always that way! However, for the Christian there is a higher principle that must be considered- the principle of forgiveness.

Not surprisingly, Forgiveness is not the road most oft' traveled. It is the biblical road for the Christian to take, and while it can be incredibly difficult, is the one that brings glory to God. You must remember that adultery is a sin like any other sin. It is not unforgivable and if the adulterer repents and both parties are willing to work on the marriage it can be repaired and be even stronger than it was previously.  Forgiveness is a critical component in this process.

Without forgiveness, bitterness will quickly set into the heart of the betrayed spouse. This will lead to complicating sin issues as bitterness defiles many (Hebrews 12:15) other areas of life. Bitterness is an incredible poison that can be completely avoided if only the one who is hurt will extend forgiveness to the spouse who betrayed them.

With forgiveness, healing can and does take place in the heart of the betrayed and in the marriage itself.  God is greatly glorified and grace and mercy are put on triumphant display for all the world to see! The one offering forgiveness is imitating Christ, by their willingness to forgive such a grievous wrong. Often the woman says the adulterer doesn't "deserve" forgiveness?  That is a true statement as far as it goes; none of us "deserves" forgiveness for any of our sin and yet it was given to us...this is what makes it all so miraculous and such a wonderful gift and ability.

By God's grace and with dedication and perseverance it is possible to move beyond adultery and have a loving, fulfilling, joyous, and trust-filled marriage.

The God of Our Circumstances

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 (NASB)

Many of us struggle mightily with circumstances that cause us to be anxious, fearful and to worry.  These are perilous and difficult days we are living in! There is so much uncertainty for us with the economy and employment being so volatile. 

It is easy to forget that God is in charge of all these things and knows the end from the beginning in each person's life.

John MacArthur says, "God does not merely use the circumstances in our lives, as in “somehow” works with them after the fact. He actually causes them. The Sovereignty of God is exhaustive and he ordains, both causes and effects or another way of putting it is He ordains the ends and the means to those ends. In His providential care God orchestrates every event in life-even suffering, temptation, and sin-to accomplish both our temporal and eternal benefit."

We need to be constantly reminded that is God who not only uses our circumstances, but causes them in the first place. We must look to the Old Testament narratives and the New Testament testimonies of the servants of God to see how He orchestrated every event down to the smallest detail in order to accomplish what He had planned.  

One example would be Israel. God brought them into Egypt in the first place, brought them out 400 years later (as He foretold He would do) , and took care of them every step of the way as they wandered for 40 years in the desert.  

In spite of God's faithfulness to them, they were fearful and complained about everything!

What indeed do they have to be fearful about? What do they have to worry about? What do they have to complain about? Why are they so anxious? Why do they fret?

Well, like us, they had heart problems that caused them to doubt God’s goodness, His provision, and His divine plan for their lives. The doubt feeds the fears and the desires of the heart, that is, what we really worship, forms a vicious circle of out of control emotion and paralyzing fear.

Consider Job and his wife for a moment. Job is struck and afflicted, his family is killed, all his worldly goods are gone. His wife suggests he curse God and die. 

But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips. Job 2:10

The word foolish does not mean ‘silly” but refers to one who rejects God or His revealed will. Such a person is considered “unwise” in Scripture because they doubt God and His power, His goodness and object to the circumstances He has sovereignly placed in their lives.

Job, on the other hand was willing to accept the circumstances as from God. He did not blame Satan and he did not blame the Chaldeans. He recognized that both were instruments of God’s revealed will and was therefore able to live out his belief in God's sovereignty. Simply put, Job trusted God rather than trusting his own "wisdom"!

Spiritually, worry is a form of idolatry and a fruit of unbelief. On a practical level the chronic worrier is unwise, living as if there is no God to place trust in.

In Matt 6:19-21 our Lord deals with seeking and trusting in various treasures. Worry involves earthly things to worry about or treasures:  (job, marriage, money, relationships, death, any desire, lust, passion of the heart )

What you are focusing on (eyes for) competes with God. Focusing and fixating on them gets the heart (inner self) attached. The thought process sounds like; when, how, if, how soon will these treasures fail?

The man is help captive to the idea of losing his treasure.

We try to manipulate our idols. We want something from our idols-the pay off is a temporary reassurance. In reality, the idol master’s you and you serve it-the manipulation is a two-way street.

What you value supremely will rule your life. In other words what you treasure rules you. 

Is this really God's ideal for His people? 

Interview with Dr. Kurt Grady on Psychotropic Drugs

Today I am posting an interview of Dr. Kurt Grady by Linda Rice on Psychotropic drugs. There has been a lot of buzz in the days since the psychiatric association came out against their own "bible," the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illness (DSM).  I will post the second part on Thursday.  Linda's blog can be found here.

by Linda

Recently, I corresponded with Dr. Kurt Grady to ask some questions regarding psychotropic drugs.

Dr. Kurt Grady is a practicing clinical pharmacist in the St. Louis, Missouri area. He holds a Doctor of Pharmacy degree, a Master’s degree in Business Administration, and a Doctor of Biblical Studies degree in Biblical Counseling. Kurt is certified by the International Association of Biblical Counselors. He serves on the board of directors of Overseas Instruction in Counseling and Christian Education Enterprises, Inc. He is a faculty member at Gateway Biblical Counseling and Training Center, Master’s International School of Divinity and an associate teacher in international graduate degree programs with Overseas Instruction in Counseling. With Dr. David Tyler, he is the co-author of Deceptive Diagnosis: When Sin is Called Sickness and ADHD: Deceptive Diagnosis both by Focus Publishing. Kurt lectures on biblical counseling topics at both domestic and international conferences. He and Lesley have been married over twenty years and they have three teenage sons.

What percentage of your customers are purchasing psychotropic drugs?

My current position is in long-term care pharmacy so I take care of nursing home patients primarily. National data as of March 2013 show that approximately 63% of people in nursing homes receive at least one psychoactive medication. These include antipsychotics (24%), antidepressants (47%), antianxiety medications (22%) and sleeping medications (7%). Outside of nursing homes, in 2010, 1 in 5 adults in the USA took at least one psychoactive medication…that’s about 60 million people.

What are currently the most popular psychotropic drugs?

By volume, there were over 43.5 million prescriptions filled for two antidepressants (escitalopram (Lexapro) and trazodone (Desyrel) in 2011. Both of these drugs rank in the top 20 of all prescriptions dispensed in the United States that year. Other psychoactive drugs in the top 200 prescriptions by volume dispensed include: Cymbalta, sertraline (Zoloft), alprazolam (Xanax), Seroquel, clonazepam (Klonopin), fluoxetine (Prozac), citalopram (Celexa), lorazepam (Ativan), venlafaxine (Effexor), Abilify, Vyvanse, zolpidem (Ambien), diazepam (Valium), amitriptyline (Elavil), paroxetine (Paxil), amphetamine (Adderall), risperidone (Risperdal), and Zyprexa. Some of these drugs appear multiple times in the top 200 as the generics are often made by different companies. Alprazolam, for example, holds 5 spots in the top 200.

Considering the most popular, what are its purpose, actions, and side effects?

The top two psychoactive drugs by volume are escitalopram and trazodone. Both are classified as antidepressants and each carries a boxed warning of increased suicide rates in people up to 24 years of age taking the medications. While suicide rates are increased in people with depression, the FDA believed there was a more profound effect in younger people taking the drugs and thus added the black box warning. Each drug is associated with nausea, vomiting, constipation, decreased sexual performance and sex drive in general, dizziness, dry mouth, increased appetite and others. Trazodone is known to be profoundly sedating so much so that it is often used for sedation and sleep. In addition, both are sometimes used for treating anxiety.

What emotional problems do escitalopram and trazodone likely indicate?

This is a difficult question in that there is so much experimentation that goes on in mental health drug treatments.  These drugs can be used for various anxiety disorders, depression, headaches, treatment of pain, bipolar disorder, aggression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and premenstrual dysphoric disorder and undoubtedly others.

By experimentation, are you referring to the trying of one drug and then another to see what works? If so, how many drugs to people commonly try before they settle on one?

I have seen patients taking up to a half-dozen psychotropic medications in an effort to find just the right cocktail.  Rarely does a patient start on one drug and stay on that drug alone for a lengthy period of time.  There is a high discontinuation rate.

What makes these two drugs so popular as opposed to other drugs?

Trazodone is a drug that has been on the market for decades so most are familiar with it. As noted, it is profoundly sedating so it is used more as a sleep aid than as an antidepressant. It is also used as a sedative for people with anxiety, bipolar disorder and other disorders. It’s also quite inexpensive. Escitalopram is newer and is thought to have fewer side effects than the other SSRI’s [selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors]. It is the generic for Lexapro, which was widely prescribed and was one of the last SSRI’s to lose its brand status. As such, it is the drug that has most recently been highly promoted for depression by a pharmaceutical company. If more people were taking the brand name agent due to heavy promotion, this would lead to more generic prescriptions once they are available. It really comes down to prescribing habits and familiarity.

If depression leads to suicide, and a particular antidepressant increases the risk of suicide, how can it be called an antidepressant? It seems like prescription of such an antidepressant is like dripping lighter fluid onto the fire. What benefit did research show that would convince a psychiatrist to prescribe it for depression?

The theories would have us think of it like this: severely depressed people may think of and even plan suicide, however, they do not have the “energy” or motivation to carry even this act to fruition because they are so profoundly depressed. When these drugs are given, as they begin to lift mood, this gives the depressed person enough energy to actually carry out suicide.

Another factor may have to do with people abruptly discontinuing their medications. While this is also theoretical, the thought is that a rapid discontinuation of the SSRI medications, for example, may lead to a “chemical storm” in the brain as the organ seeks to begin producing various neurotransmitters that it has not been producing because of the presence of the medications. This process of restarting the production of dormant neurotransmitter production takes time. So, if the drugs are removed before the brain can produce its own chemistry again, the results are all kinds of horrors from suicides to murder (including school shootings, theatre shootings, mass murders, etc.).  The fact that the boxed warnings target a younger population could be supported by the fact that younger people are less likely to be adherent to drug therapy due to various side effects.

Finally, we do know that these people have problems. They are depressed. The incidence of suicide is higher in depressed people. Perhaps drugs are not the cause at all? Perhaps there are other factors involved….

Is there any danger if a person takes himself off the drug? For example, perhaps he has side effects that are so uncomfortable that he wants to quit the drug?

See above. The SSRI’s, for the most part, need to be tapered slowly. In working with counselees and physicians, my experience has taught me that the length of time it takes for a person to safely and successful come off one of these medications is related to how long they have been taking it. It is also possible that a person may not be able to completely discontinue one of the medications. It may be, in people who have taken multiple medications or who have taken them for a lengthy period of time, that real organic changes have taken place in the brain that do not allow complete medication discontinuation. However, our goal as biblical counselors is not to manage medications or suggest that people stop taking them. Our goal is to glorify God. Restoring the counselee (discipleship) to a place of obedience and usefulness in the Kingdom is our aim, regardless of whether or not they are still taking medications.

Part 2 on Thursday! 

Waiting in the Wings

Yesterday Don Whitney was out guest preacher and he spoke to us about waiting. Waiting is such a hard thing to do, and there seem to be an inordinate number of people I know waiting for something. When the waiting is prolonged we become impatient and angry that God's will is taking so long to be revealed in our lives.

As I pray about the things other people and I are waiting for I am reminded of the Hebrews and their captivity in Egypt.

So God heard their groaning; and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, Issac, and Jacob. God saw the sons of Israel and God took notice of them. Exodus 2:24, 25

I want to remind you that God hears our pleadings, and even though you have been waiting for a long time He has not forgotten you.  

God saw the suffering of His people in Egypt, and He sees your suffering this moment too. He is not watching from His heavenly throne with His arms crossed across His mighty chest passively observing you like a bug under a magnifying glass, He is actively building character in you as you struggle. He is building faith, and perseverance, and trust and hope and endurance in your heart and mind. He is preparing you even now for the next trial you will face, strengthening you so that when that day comes you will be able to bear it. 

"For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. 2 Chron. 16:9a

Finally we see that God took notice of His people. On the surface, the verse in Exodus can be misleading because it reads as though God was unaware of them or their plight. What this verse actually means is that God “knew” them; He brought to bear the covenant He made with their forefathers. It was not because of any action they had done no set of righteous deeds caused God to move, it was simply time.

We can take a lesson from this as well. Sometimes while we are waiting we get a mindset of works righteousness and wrongly think that if we fast more, pray harder, sacrifice something, and beg or plead with tears that God will move on our behalf; that we can make God move. I am sorry, we cannot. God will move in our situations when it brings Him the most glory. It may be the last minute of the last hour we have or in the time we least expect Him to do so. Always, always, He moves when it brings Him the most glory.

This is further testimony to why I say that it is all about Him and not at all about us. From the time God began to actively intervene in the captivity of the Hebrews it was all about bringing glory to Himself. All those miraculous signs were not about Pharaoh, or Moses and Aaron or the Hebrews; they were about a mighty and all powerful God revealing His glory to the world.

When God chooses to move in your circumstances it will be for His glory and your benefit. Be assured that as He was bringing Moses into the world He had the same plan in mind as the one He brought to pass. He already has the answer to your question of “when” and your job in this time of waiting is to pray He would bring Himself glory in revealing it.

Help in Depression

Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2).

I have recently been helping someone understand the process of mind renewal and heart change. It is critical to understand that you won't have one without the other.

Mind renewal is especially important when dealing with feelings of depression. When your thoughts, beliefs, and desires are set on glorifying God, you will begin to do the right things, such as serving others, and you will experience good results, such as relief from depressive feelings.

If you are a woman who struggles with feelings; especially depressive ones, I would encourage you to consider what God says about your reason for living. Why do you think He created you? Search the Scriptures and make a list of the reasons God says He made you. To get you started, look up 1 Corinthians 6:20.

I also encourage you to remind yourself daily of your spiritual identity. The book of Ephesians
gives you some great clues about who you are in Christ. Examine the book in depth, especially the first three chapters. Take notes, use various translations, and look up words you don’t know or understand in a concordance, such as Vine’s or Strong’s.

Do you know who you are in Christ? Check a concordance for words like “justified,” “sanctified,” “called,” “elect,” “blameless,” “holy.” Memorize the Bible verses that reveal how these words apply to you.

As you go throughout your day, look for God at work in your circumstances. Examine the life of biblical characters such as David, Samuel, Ruth, Naomi, King Saul, Samson, Elijah, and Paul. These people were used by God and still testify to us today; how did they handle their crises and troubles?
Do a study on what the Bible has to say about grumbling and complaining. Use both the Old and New Testaments.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. Hebrews 12:1-2a (NLT)

Let me challenge you with these questions as I leave you for today:

• What is your focus today? 
• Do you just want to be “feeling better”? 

If so, may I suggest you change your focus to “seeing Christ?” The goal of true change is to see only Jesus Christ. He is your answer. He is your comfort. He is your help in time of need. He is your light, your salvation, your all in all. He is your hope.

He’s on both sides of the coin

Today's guest blogger is Stephanie Van Gorden. Stephanie and her  family serve with Village Missions, a missions organization whose purpose is to strengthen and establish healthy Biblical churches in North America, primarily in rural areas. 

During the most difficult period of our dealings with infertility and treatment, I frequented a Christian message board for women struggling with the same thing. One discussion centered around one woman’s indecision about whether to continue praying for healing or to just finally move on. It’s a valid question, and one that has ramifications for all kinds of waiting situations. The same principle applied when our family was waiting on news on a job change. It applies to other kinds of medical treatment. It applies to university decisions. It applies to relational difficulties. If infertility isn’t your “thing” today, fill in the blank with circumstances you’re experiencing or know of where God has asked you to wait.

I don't think that praying with faith and accepting the current situation are mutually exclusive. In other words, it's not like in God's economy it's an either/or. Trusting the Lord can be more AND than OR. My husband defines prayer as humbly expressing our dependence on God, responding to what and whom He has revealed Himself to be.

SO...we can pray with faith, recognizing our dependence on Him both to walk with us through the current circumstances (Isaiah 43:1-3a), and to change them according to His will. God's sovereignty covers both sides of the coin. We can humbly and joyfully (though not necessarily happily) accept God’s ‘no’ answer, resting in the sovereignty of an all-powerful, perfectly wise and loving heavenly Father, who knows what He is about. At the same time that we say, "Thy will be done," we can ask Him if His will can include this thing we’re asking for. Consider it, if you will, the same coin as Jesus' prayer in Gethsemane: "Take this cup from Me; nevertheless, Your will be done." He was willing and joyful (even though not happy) to obey the Father even to the ultimate cost of His life, but He still asked His Father (our Father!) to change the circumstances if He would.

So whether or not to continue asking for a change, for a ‘yes’? I think God is pleased when we do, because we're glorifying Him by expressing our belief that only He in the universe is capable of bringing that about. But we must be sure we're (a) asking with the right motives (James 4:2-3), and (b) asking in humility, content to rest in the palm of His hand, knowing that His will cannot be thwarted .

Something that has helped me is Psalm 84:11-12:

For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
The LORD gives grace and glory.
No good thing does He withhold
From those who walk uprightly.
O LORD of hosts,
How blessed is the man who trusts in You!

If something good is being withheld, it's because in God's will, there is something better for me and beyond me in the long run. Someone once said that God's will is exactly what we would choose if we knew what He knows. Understanding that truth does not preclude us from asking for something, merely from grasping at a perceived right to it, or holding so tightly to it that we respond sinfully if He does not give it.

Several years ago, a man in our congregation contracted cancer for the 5th time. When he told us the news, he said, "I've been healed four times, and I know God can heal me again if He chooses to, so that's what I'm praying for. But I know that if He doesn't heal me here, I'll be healed in heaven, so it's a win-win situation."

We can turn our situations into win-win situations like Del's if we're willing to say, with Christ, “Let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, Your will be done.” Or, in my case, as I posted a reply on that message board thread, “God, I desperately want children, but I don't want to 'need' them more than I need You. Help me to obey You with joy; help me to be content with You as my portion (because how can children add to Your perfect perfections?!). You have made this day for me, and as Your Word says, I will rejoice and be glad in it! I also ask You to bring about healing in my body so that it might bear children for Your glory, if You are pleased to do so. Nevertheless, I know that You are in Your heaven, and You do what You please. May it please You to bring children to our home. But if it doesn't, may it please me to honor You with all that I am and have, so that whether by my infertility or by having children, Your name will be glorified.”

Answers When Life is Hard

But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress.  O my Strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love. Psalm 59:16-17 (ESV)

When things are hard and there seem to be no answers, our human emotions tell us that God is a casual observer of life, that He does not or must not care about suffering. Biblical thinking reminds us that in each event He is working out good for the believer who loves him. Each event is completely purposeful, as well as intricately planned and guided by Him. Emotions tell us that it is wrong to let people suffer in this way. After listening to a conversation similar to this one, a friend once said, “God is mean.”

Can you really trust God when misfortune or adversity strikes? Can you really trust God when your life is filled with pain? Emotions answer with a resigned “What’s my choice?” We find ourselves in the default position of “If I don’t trust God is trustworthy, then what?” Emotions want an immediate bail-out from adversity and relief from the pain. We want it to be over.

Biblical thinking reminds us that suffering is purposeful and should be expected by believers because we are sojourners in this wicked world.  Biblical thinking also tells us that it is contrary to the character of God to passively and casually observe human suffering. God is active and involved in our suffering.

Many times I hear counselees say that if they only understood what God was doing, they would feel better. We long for understanding when we are suffering. We believe that if God would pull back the curtain and let us peek into the future and see how this all turns out, we could cope with it better.

The faithless heart is a heart that lacks trust in God and His sovereignty. This is essentially a character assassination of God!

Look again at the synonyms for unfaithful. When you react and respond emotionally, can you see how you are actually saying that God is not following through on His promises to you? You are actually saying that God is betraying your trust in Him? You are really saying that God is deceitful and treacherous?

If you do not believe God is faithful and trustworthy, then where is your hope? Can you see how your thinking has a tremendous effect on your life? There is a close relationship between what you think and believe and how you feel!

If you have no faith or trust that God is who He says He is in the Bible, you will struggle mightily with depression. You will be tossed about by the trials this life brings and see yourself as a victim of everything. You will be, as James says, unstable in all you do.

So, you see, it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that there is a God and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. Hebrews 11:6 (NLT)

They Say He Has No Conscience.

Today's guest blogger is Linda Rice.  Linda is and author and conference speaker.  She will be speaking at our Regional Biblical Counseling Conference in March of 2014. You can read more of her writing here. 

We’ve heard stories like the Columbine school shooting or children who torment animals or kill parents all without remorse. Similarly, children labeled with RAD are noted for callousness, lack of compassion, lack of empathy, and lack of remorse. It is not uncommon for them to be spoken of as children without a conscience.

Webster’s 1828 dictionary says that a conscience is “the faculty, power, or principle within us, which decides on the lawfulness or unlawfulness of our own actions and affections, and instantly approves or condemns them.” This states the biblical teaching pretty well. Proverbs 20:27 says that the spirit of a man works like the Lord’s lamp, searching the secret closets and corners of the heart, exposing motives for evaluation to affirm or accuse the person. Affirmation produces peacefulness; accusation produces guilt feelings.

Many psychologists teach that a child labeled RAD not only does not show remorse, he has no ability to feel remorse because he literally has no conscience. Some theorize that the conscience resides in certain neurons in a location of the brain. Furthermore, a baby is born without a conscience. This is why babies have no scruples doing hurtful things (pinching, hitting, poking, pulling hair) that, at older ages, they would not dare to do. At about age two the brain grows and develops the neurons for a conscience, which then further develops during childhood. So if a toddler does not develop those neurons, then his brain has no conscience. Or in some cases, brain damage can destroy the part of the brain where the conscience resides.

It is one thing to refuse to repent or to show remorse. It is quite another to literally possess no conscience due to the structure of one’s brain. There are enormous implications.

One implication is the lack of limits on behavior. By its alarm or the discomfort of guilt feelings, the conscience dissuades us from doing worse than we would. So without a conscience, the person will have no internal alarm to warn him away from wrongdoing. Only the fear of getting caught or not living by his own warped code of ethics will restrain him. It is open season on fulfilling any selfish desire to any extreme. He can treat others any way he wants with no compunction. No wonder we automatically shrink back from the idea of someone having no conscience.

The belief in a lack of conscience excuses people from responsibility. Thus, the insanity plea comes in handy.

The ultimate implication for the person is that he has no path to salvation. First John 1:8-9 says,

“If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Someone unable to sense conviction of sin does not perceive himself as having sinned. Someone who hasn’t sinned doesn’t need the Savior. Without awareness of wrongdoing there is no rationale for repentance and without repentance there is no forgiveness and without forgiveness there is no salvation from wrath or way to peace with God. This belief that a person can possess no conscience robs of hope.

Thanks be to the Lord that His Word holds the truth. As I noted in my book:

Scripture teaches that everyone has a conscience. Romans 1:19-20 says, “That which is known about God is evident within [people] . . . , so that they are without excuse.” Untaught people have an innate knowledge that God exists and that there is a moral standard to which they are accountable. About those unaware of God’s written law, Romans 2:14-15 says, “. . . they show the work of the Law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them.” The fact that people who have not been instructed in the Law innately do some right and condemn some wrong shows that possession of a conscience is universal.

The conscience is a moral capacity, not a set of neurons.

The idea that the conscience resides in brain structure is a philosophical position, not a scientifically derived fact. It is based on the belief that the mind resides in and emerges from the brain, a view which is rooted in the theory of evolution. The immaterial depends upon the material. The brain generates the mind. Without the brain, there is no mind or conscience.

The Bible teaches a different view. The in-breathed spirit, not the brain, is the animating force of man (Gen. 2:7; Jas. 2:26). The spirit of a man searches his (immaterial) heart, not his brain (Prov. 20:27). When the body dies, the spirit does not die like an animal’s but returns to God (Eccl. 12:7). The apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians that he preferred “to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord” (2 Cor. 5:8). He knew that even without his body he would be conscious of his beloved Lord and able to relate to Him. His mind, being immaterial, would still be functioning without the material brain. The brain both influences the mind and is a means of expressing it, but the mind is not completely dependent upon the brain for its existence or function. Conscience is not just a brain function but a moral capacity. Again from my book:

 But just because infants do not know particular wrongs and do not demonstrate conscience in a way that adults can measure does not mean that they do not have a conscience. Adam did not experience developmental stages and in his innocence did not give evidence that he had a conscience. Yet, as soon as he sinned, he felt shame and hid, demonstrating that he possessed a conscience. It had just not previously been activated to sound an alarm. Every person is born with an innate sense that some sort of right and wrong exists and possesses the capacity for moral self-judgment.

We have all offended God by disobedience. He has kindly given each of us a conscience that convicts of guilt before God so that we can be aware that there is a problem. Unpleasant as it is, conviction of guilt provides essential hope because it motivates us to seek God’s solution. Sinners need a Savior and God provided one. Christ died to pay sin’s penalty so that those who repent by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone will be saved from the power of sin in this life, from the wrath of God in hell, and will live with God for eternity.

Feelings, Worry, and Faith

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. Matthew 6:34 (NLT)

Often, people who struggle with fear, worry and anxiety react rather than thinking. Emotional reactivity becomes the habitual response of being a “worrywart.” They have trained themselves to respond with the feelings of worry and anxiety and have done it for so long they do not know how to respond differently. 

Feelings are a normal part of life but they ought not to control our lives.

The feelings that result from fear, worry and anxiety feel bad. Did you know that your feelings are actually indicators of what is going on inside in the heart (inner-man). Read this next sentence slowly and carefully-

Your feelings are actually by-products of your thinking.

Making a distinction between what you believe and what you feel is critical because your attitudes reflect your inner beliefs about self and your problems.

Our feelings are a part of our emotional package and part of our cognitive processes (which are our ability to think, reason, and communicate).  Disturbed feelings may be the first indication that there is a problem (Matt. 6:34).  When we experience distressing feelings it may be the result of sin we have committed (Ps. 38:3-10; Gen. 4:6-7).

For example, David (often a heroic example for sinful issues) sins with Bathsheba. In Psalm 38 we learn of David’s distress because of his sin. There is a cause (adultery)-effect  (distress) on his emotions.

Another example would be Cain in Gen. 4:6-7. Cain disobey's God about the kind of sacrifice he is to bring to God and brings an offering of his own choosing.  God rejects his offering and Cain becomes angry at God, and then angry at his brother Abel who is held up as the example. Rather than being repentant for his disobedience, Cain is angry at God and murders Abel even though his own sin is the cause of the rejection. 

Also on the negative side, a person can feel happy and be involved with unrighteous deeds (Ex. 32).  Do you recall the story of the golden calf?  While Moses was receiving the Ten Commandments the newly freed Hebrew people had Aaron fashion an idol of gold to worship.  Once it was done they had a wild party full of debauchery. Apparently their feelings of happiness were connected with their sin!

It is the same today when a woman tells me how happy she is in her illicit relationship.  This illustrates how emotions cannot be trusted as truth. Emotions and feelings result from what goes on in the heart. 

Do you find yourself obeying or living by your feelings? If so, then I suspect that your life is unstable, and that you often find yourself living in a see-saw emotional upheaval, never knowing how you are going to feel next.  This is a difficult way to live and not at all glorifying to God.

You are not to be mastered by anything, including feelings and emotions. You are to be ruled by the Holy Spirit of God. Allow Him to be your guide rather than those feelings of worry, fear, and anxiety. Trust that God is completely aware of all that encompasses your life and that He is working in and through your circumstances.

Doubting the Love of God

I have a friend who for a period of time doubted the love of God in her life. Small things would happen that were not a part of her plan for the day and she would wonder aloud, “Don’t You love me God?”

Have you ever been there? Have you been in the midst of some difficult circumstances and wondered if God loves you? Or, have you ever believed that you sinned so greatly that God could never love you or accept you? Some of you have, I know.

What would you have to see or experience to realize this love? How about a day where everything goes right, or an extra paycheck or bonus shows up in your mail slot? For multitudes of people the gauge of God’s love are the circumstances in their lives. If things go well then God loves them and is pleased with them. If things go badly then God is somehow displeased with them, especially if things go wrong for an extended period of time.

I once went through a horrible time of conflict and thought that God was done with using me in ministry as a result of it. I was very, very sad at this thought but wanted what God wanted for me and for His church. I did not realize that I was questioning God’s love for me in the midst of all that grief until I was asked to read the Word of God to the congregation on Christmas. I was simply overjoyed at the privilege of being asked to share the very Word of God and vividly recall hanging up the phone and with shouts of joy and tears saying, “You do still love me! You do still love me!”

Until that moment I did not realize I doubted Him. I also did not realize that my beliefs were in conflict with the truth of Scripture. I did not realize what an insult such thoughts and beliefs truly are. Listen, when you are tempted to think such thoughts ask yourself this, exactly how much more would God have to do for you to show you that He loves you? What more this there than death?

For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:6-8

I repeat, what more can a person do for you to show you His love than to die for you? We makes heroes out of men who jump on train tracks to rescue a little child and rightfully so! What about one Man who provided a way of rescue for every man woman and child ever born? What else could He possibly do to persuade you of His love?

Jesus is enough! His death was enough to prove the love of God for us my friends. His death was sufficient to secure our salvation. His death was enough to secure our life. His death was proof of His love as on that day for the first time ever in all of eternity God turned His face away from His own Son (Matt.27:46).

But the LORD was pleased To crush Him, putting Him to grief; If He would render Himself as a guilt offering… Isaiah 53:10

God did not spare His own Son in any respect in this death. Jesus’ death was not private as His betrayer’s was (Matt. 27:3-5, Acts 1:18).  It was not a simple hanging in a deserted place or a neat and orderly affair, it was a bloody, messy, vile affair that was public; and every stripe was intentional, every drop of blood spilled was accounted for.

In his book Grow in Grace Sinclair Ferguson says, “When we think of Christ’s dying on the cross we are shown the lengths to which God’s love goes in order to win us back to Himself. We would almost think that God loved us more than he loves His Son. We cannot measure His love by any other standard. He is saying to us, ‘I love you this much.’”

Carefully read Isaiah 53 today. Spend some time meditating on the great love that God has shown us in Jesus Christ. Put away the childish notions that worldly things are evidence of His love and favor and instead think on things that are true (Phil 4:8).

“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13