I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, Because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul, And You have not given me over into the hand of the enemy; You have set my feet in a large place. Psalm 31:7-8
The affliction is of my heart at the moment. The troubles of my soul are the illness of my mom. I am deeply grieved at her suffering and my inability to do anything about it.
God is present in this suffering, he is present in the midst of the trials.
How can I rejoice in the midst of this?
How can I see the lovingkindness of God?
My soul is in distress.
I am experiencing God in this. I am being kept, and held fast. In my words of assurance to my mom as she lay next to me in the hospital bed I am experiencing God. I am reminded of the truth of the gospel. I am reminded that faith in Christ and His sacrifice is enough. I am reminded that nothing can be added to His provision.
I can rejoice because if He chooses to take her home, it will be home to Him! She will wake up in His arms and be free from pain for all eternity. I can rejoice because she will be waiting for me, I can rejoice because in spite of the pain there is hope.
God's lovingkindness is evident in the provision of pain killing medications and wise doctors and wonderful caring loving nurses. God's lovingkindness is evident in the grace that He displays, and the strength He gives me to get through each day. It is evident in the love and care of my friends who are praying for mom, and ministering to me through various means. God's lovingkindness is evident in simple things, like the internet being available here in the hospital, a comfy chair to pass the night away and cable television that allows me not to be alone in the late hours of the night.
I have no way of knowing what tomorrow may bring by way of diagnosis or other news. I do know that no matter what the dawn brings us, God is still sovereign, He is still watching over us, He is still in control, He is still loving and keeping those who love Him and call Him their Father.
Bless His magnificent Name!