I know that so many women tend to live by their feelings. This is one of the reasons we suffer so with emotional ups and downs. I have been told by women who struggle with depression, anxiety, PMS, and other issues that how they feel determines what kind of a day they have. Often, the first thought of the day is, “How do I feel” and if it is anything less than “good” the day is ruined before it even begins.
To overcome, we must look at feelings biblically. God has given each person a “package” of feelings and emotions. They are a part of the hard wiring that makes us who we are. Some women have more awareness of their feelings and some have less. Having feelings is not a problem- they are good and God given. If we had no feelings we would not enjoy sunsets, picnics, music, love, family, or anything else God created. Some women wish they only had happy feelings. I know this because I hear this phrase constantly from people, “I just want to be happy.” However, what they don’t realize is that if we did not experience sorrow we would not know joy. If we did not experience the ugliness of life we could not appreciate the beauty.
So let us discuss feelings for a bit. What do our feelings tell us? Generally speaking, feelings reveal hearts. This is an important point for you to realize. If you want to correct your unhappy or bad feelings, you have to address the issues of your heart!
We learn about ourselves by asking questions. Not “why” questions such as “why do I feel sad” but what questions, such as:
- What do I want that I don’t have?
- What do I believe I am entitled to?
Other questions such as:
- Do I believe I am entitled to happiness?
- Am I waiting for something magical to happen to make me happy?
- Is the goal of my life supposed to be being happy?
These are just a few out of dozens I would ask. You see, asking questions reveal your motives, it reveals the heart of the reason you are feeling this way. Then once you know what is going on in your thoughts you can apply correct theology to your wrong thinking. (That is assuming you have correct theology! That is a topic for another day…)
If you want to overcome, you must retrain yourself to think rather than to simply emote. I would also tell you to be aware of the need for balance. It would be unwise to examine every thought, or mood. You would never get anything done!
When you experience feelings that are particularly strong or problematic, do some self-examination and determine what the cause is. Use objective, biblical questions that will lead you to a biblical conclusion. I also suggest you seek wise counsel and accountability from someone who knows you and will help you to apply God’s Word to your life. Choose someone that can help you by telling you what emotion they see in you most often. Then ask the Lord to help you to understand how you are responding as a result of these emotions, and how you can overcome them.