He Is More Than Enough!

Last time we met here together I was telling you about why Jesus is enough and how we can make real application to life of this truth.

Allow me to draw you a word picture; all that Christ has done for us, and all that we are in Christ is to be continually refocused and returned back to God through obedience, serving others, forbearance, overlooking hurtful offenses and so on. All these responses are actually evidence of the love of Christ that wells up within us like a geyser is passionately lived out for His glory and overflows onto others in our lives.

Often those people who benefit from the reflection of our love for Jesus Christ are people who we have conflict with, such as spouses with whom we have discord, children who are ungrateful, co-workers and employers who take advantage of us. Our view of their response to our graciousness changes radically when our motive for doing these things changes. You see, if I am serving others for the glory of God then does it matter if I am appreciated? If I am obeying and submitting to a harsh authority because of Christ, and because it pleases Him then is it going to be bearable?

I maintain that when my goal for all I do in life is to glorify God then nothing else matters. God receives my spiritual acts of worship (Romans 12:1) and I experience joy because man’s response just doesn’t matter any more! It has ceased to be about me and my feelings and my wants and my perceived needs and it is now all about Him. It is how I can bring Him glory in living my daily life.

You have no idea what freedom there is in living for Him! I am freed from the shackles of performance oriented Christianity. In living for Him there is no more fear of man, for since I am behaving in ways that are God focused all those around me are reaping the harvest of my love for God and my obedience to His Word.

I have little tolerance anymore with the whole "God is displeased with me" theology. It is such bondage to think that way because it leads to living under a cloud of constant condemnation. People who are under such teaching are fearful of God’s punishment for their failures, they are afraid of being “out of fellowship” with God as they are in the process of progressive sanctification as though God would be against them for ongoing struggles with sin.

I have great news for you- a true believer can never be “out of fellowship” with God because my fellowship with God never depended on me in the first place! Before Christ saved us we were all out of fellowship with Him, living in darkness, sons of perdition, and destined for hell. The only thing that changed our present and our future is that God reached down into our pathetic lives and redeemed us. It was all of Him and nothing of me. Was I responsible to respond to His call? Yes, but He even assured that I would respond by His irresistible call on our lives.

In the instant that the salvation that Christ bought for me by His blood was completed I was instantly brought into the Light, adopted, redeemed, sanctified, justified, and guaranteed that I will be one day glorified.

More tomorrow beloved!

He Is Enough!

What does your theology tell you about who you are? Sadly, I find many people are very fearful of God and live in a perpetual state of self-condemnation.

I believe it is this way for a variety of reasons; few churches teach the fundamentals of our Christian faith anymore. When words like justification, sanctification, redemption, sanctification, and propitiation are not used or taught, and there is little to no teaching on the sovereignty of God. Instead of learning these crucial doctrines in our Bible studies and Sunday education classes, we are fed weak material that is supposed to “fill our love cup” or meet our latest felt needs. Consequently, many people have no real idea of what has been done for us and who we now are in Christ. I see women (and men) from these kinds of churches wandering through life defeated, discouraged, in despair and unable to live in the victory they have in Christ.

A few years ago I began to learn many things about God’s grace. Thanks to a few wonderful books like The Grace Awakening (Chuck Swindol) and Transforming Grace (Jerry Bridges) God began to open my eyes to the truth of the believers position in Jesus Christ, the certainty of our eternal destiny, and the permanent and total salvation in Christ. These truths were not new to me; I had learned them throughout my Christian life. What was new was what changed in the application of these truths to my life!

By no means would I tell you I have a “lock” on this knowledge or that I have “arrived.” However, since I began to understand these things, I have grown in knowing Him. His sovereignty, His grace and mercy have changed the whole focus of my life! It is not about me- it is all about Him. And it is about Him in a very real way. You have probably heard that before phrase before, but do you have any idea what that means to live this truth out? Allow me to give you a few examples:

I can submit to difficult authorities in my life because the focus of my submission is not that person, it is Christ! As I submit to Christ out of love I am obeying Him as well but my obedience is not out of fear of punishment or condemnation it is again out of love. Of course, people in my life, including the difficult people, will all benefit from my obedient submission but they are not my focus, He is.

When I determine to serve others, it is out of love for how He has served me. What greater love is there than a man who serves others by laying down His own life? (John 15:3) If I make my service about serving Jesus rather than man I am living a life of “One Anothering” out of gratitude and love for what has been done for me. Others benefit from my love for Christ in a very real and tangible way.

Showing grace to others in overlooking offences is another tremendous blessing of having some understanding of Him. Since He is always before me, always lavishing His grace on me would I not be loving Him by being gracious toward others?

You see dear reader, when I stop looking at my circumstances through secular eyes and begin to put on those eyes that are only for Jesus wonderful things begin to happen in my inner man, in what the Bible calls my heart. I begin to see through my acting righteously in spite of my fears and personal hang-ups that Jesus is enough! He becomes real to me and His sustaining power is realized as I find I can make it through extremely difficult circumstances because He is enough to carry me though. Because He is faithful, because He is God and I am united with Him in Christ!

I am so determined to tell the world that He is enough!

More on this next time!

Where is God In All of This?

(From time to time I come across things I have written in other places that I think will benefit you, the reader. Some of them are years old and others not so old. I post them here to remind myself of God’s faithfulness and to give you hope. Wherever you are in life today there is a “tomorrow” and God is gracious…He will sustain you.)

From my journals….

Where is God in all of this?

He is right here, walking with me through the fire and the storm and the weariness and the sorrow and the anger and the everything else. In the midst of uncomfortable or hard circumstances Satan wants me to curse God and blame Him. He wants me to give up and say this is not worth it. I will not. God is all I have. I need Him, and nothing in this world will make me do that because He is keeping me! He is keeping my faith, He is keeping me close to Him, and He will never let me go.

I am weary and nearly numb. I could just let myself go and sit and sorrow without hope, but I have much to do and to do wallow is not glorifying to God. I want to glorify Him spite of it all. I need your help Lord to do that. I am so sick of always having some trauma or another, some crisis or another. It is just old. Oh God, I so need Your grace and mercy to make it through each day. Please help me.

…A little while ago I was cleaning up his room some, and found treasures of the past- his suspenders that he wore at age 3 and 4, the dinosaurs he love to take out of the game and play with. The little straw hat he had from something or another, and little plastic hangers that once held Easter suits and dress shirts he rarely wore. Small treasures of life gone by.

No denying growing hurts and I am trying desperately to get used to this new way of life, without our children at home. I cannot deny, my pain is large today. I miss them so- both of them! If they were here we would not be doing anything special, it would simply be enjoying their presence.

I am trying to come to terms with this all, and I am not sure I am doing the best job of it. I sometimes get angry they are not here. I miss them and I wish things could go back to the way they used to be. Man, it is hard to be replaced. It has the very real sensation of being kicked to the curb. It is not so, but the sensation is very real. I guess it is because they are so far away and I cannot be a part of daily life in any way. My phone calls are not well timed, I am usually interrupting something. I cannot even call the other one; his duties to God and Country have claimed him for this time in life. I want what God wants for these children. I raised them to let them go, and in spite of my best efforts, it hurts deeply.

It is hard. I am so caught in the middle of both ends of life it seems. As my parents age and I care for them, as our youngest child ages and becomes even more independent, as we age and vacillate between growing together and growing apart- depending on the day.

I am struggling with it all. It is a lonely place to be. I remember things from days gone by- wanting to share these burdens and knowing that those who would listen are there, and yet I keep silent.

Oh God, I am finding myself wanting relief from all this stress and trials. You are enough, You are all I need. Help me to cling to You and to lean on You. Help me to be a good daughter and wife and mother and counselor. God, You have a purpose and plan in all of this. Help me to be accepting and welcoming of this new trial and suffering. Help me to bring You glory!

Seeing My Heart

I still find myself struggling with wants and desires for “things.” Is that laying up for myself treasures on earth, or is it being responsible for the things we already have?

I want to live to serve Him. I know this means I will never be wealthy, I will not have "extra" nor will I ever have security in money. I desire that my thoughts be centered on accumulating valuable things in heaven instead of here on earth. Are my eyes on heaven, and am I measuring my behavior by what effect it will have in heaven? I cannot lay up treasures both on earth and in heaven; no one can serve 2 masters... It seems like I am often mastered by the lack of money more than anything! I have for a long time now desired to be relieved of the complexity of life dominated by "stuff." It is so easy to slide back into that mindset! I pray God will help me to keep my heart fixed on Him.

This is where God is so good. My faithful Father is never slow or failing to remind me that overcoming the flesh and denying my sinful desires comes only from my union with Him. Positionally this is never in question; I am always united with Him. Practically, it this union demands that I tend to my relationship constantly! It demands that my thoughts be focused on what will glorify God, my desires be turned toward what will glorify God, and my beliefs settled in what His Word says about who I am in Christ. Then, knowing all this I must live it.

A Beggar at the Table

I have received several great insights from the Lord. 1) While I will receive a new and glorified body in heaven, one that will be perfect, my Savior will for all eternity bear the scars of my punishment upon His body. Forever will be the nail marks in His hands and feet and forever will be the mark of the spear in His side. So that when I am accused before the throne of the Almighty One, for the sin I continue to commit, Jesus can show the scars and say, "see, I have paid for that with these." Oh the thought of my careless sins grieves me at this moment. That I would take so for granted the wounds He bears on my behalf.

2) I am far, far, far to self-reliant. I am far too independent. I too much want to go my own way in my own wisdom- such as it is. I am prideful. I do not confess my need of Him as I ought to. I go tra la la la la-ing my way through my days, rarely consulting Him about my plans.

Places of adversity- they cause me to cling desperately to Him like He prevents me from falling off the cliff. And then when I am on top of the mountain again, seemingly out of danger, I brush my knees off, wipe my face and go on my way again until the next thing hurls me overboard. Oh what a wretch I am .... I need Thee, I need Thee, every hour I need Thee... no wonder that song has never meant anything to me before- because I DON'T think I need Him. I can do it all myself thanks, and if I do need ya, I'll give a little whistle. Ugh, disgusting. I am shamed by my own pride and self sufficiency.

Oh God may I never be so independent! Keep me close Lord. Do not let me stray from You Lord! I beg You Lord, I don't want to be independent, I want to be God dependent! I want to know I need you every hour. God that it would not take crisis or terror to realize it, that I would just always be “there.” That You would be my guide through this life in more than just a song, or a prayer. But that You would be my constant companion, shielding, guiding, directing my paths, leading the way through this maze of life here, helping me to see the importance and unimportance of so many things I think in my foolish wisdom are so vital. Oh God, help me - I am such a sinner still.
Thank You that I am seeing this, help me not to forget! Help me to remember this always Lord!

As I plan for the future that begins tomorrow, be my guide, be the Captain, be the Lord of my life. Help me, help me, help me. I want You to lead me. And yes, I hear the words of the enemy of my soul, who tempts me with all that I will lose by such proclamations. I hear him, telling me what I will give up (as if I had it to begin with, ha!) It is all so phony. I never had any of it anyway. Help me Lord to see Your plan that begins tomorrow, and not to be lulled by the trappings of this world. Help me to make wise decisions based upon what You would have me do. Help me, good and gracious God.

Others May…I Cannot

You may have heard the commercial for the credit card that says “membership has its privileges,” well being in Christ may as well carry the same slogan.

I give a lot of thought to how I behave as a Christian. My desire is that I live in a way that others will want to know Christ because of what they see in me. There are times I am successful at this, however, most often my actions and attitudes grieve me and I fear more people are chased away than are ever drawn near.

Sometimes God is so good to give me a limited view of my own depravity. I get too independent and stray from the goal of living life to glorify God and begin to live my life indulging my own thoughts, beliefs and desires. Suddenly what is most important to me is having my own way about something, rather than thinking about others. I start feeding my wants instead of thinking about how what I say and do or don’t say or do will impact people for or against Christ. “I” becomes all important and all consuming. When this happens my entire perspective on everything changes!

It is amazing to me how easily I can begin to display the rotten fruit of anger and impatience and pride. This is where God is so good. He lets me see just enough to know.

My heart is so deceitful and still so full of self. I still have all these wants and desires that will lure me away from Him. Oh how clearly I can see this today! I wish I could always see it! When my mind does the "yeah, but is wanting the place to look nice soo bad?" thing I know it is the same as when the serpent asked Eve "Did God really say?"...
I pray God will help me to keep my heart fixed on Him. it is so easy to slide back into that mindset!

Scripture says, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. Galatians 2:20

This demands that I no longer live for myself. Being crucified with Christ says that I have died to all the worldly passions and desires (Gal. 5:24) and means that those things are literally dead to me.

You and I cannot indulge our flesh any longer. We have been bought with an incredible price. Others may live for self...we cannot.

That We Might Live

I was watching a utube video yesterday that depicted the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. At the end of the video was this verse: … “and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.” 2 Corinthians 5:15

What an incredible challenge on a daily basis. I have to stop living for myself- It sounds so easy, just surrender everything! Stop living for self completely, in total, stop loving self, stop living for this world and its pleasures and treasures and abandon all hope of glory on this earth and make Jesus the primary focus of life. This means I no longer can follow my own desires, live by my own rules, have my own way, ever. How oh Lord am I going to do that?

“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Don’t you find that when you try to live for Him you fail the most? You wake up all full of determination that you are going to do it this time and you last until breakfast is over. God never intended for us to “do it” on our own. He has ensured that whatever works we bring to the table are worthless! What glorifies Him is what is done through Him and the power of the Holy Spirit.

It is not a matter of what I can do; it is what He has already done for me. “…Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27

“(Jesus) who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself.”
Philippians 3:21

Rejoice this day, it is a very Good Friday. He suffered the loss of purity and sinlessness on our behalf, that He might present us to God the Father spotless, pure, holy….sanctified.

Easter Blessings----Maranatha

Bitterness Defiles Many

I had an occasion recently to review an old exam set that I took several years ago. I was using the test for teaching purposes. At the time I got this test back I was disappointed in some of the comments I received from the grader on a few of my answers. I was angry at him because I thought his grading was biased because I was a woman. He made what I thought were nitpicky comments about various things and required that I rewrite several of my answers. I did as he asked and his responses were again- nitpicky. By the third rewrite on some of these questions I recall being very angry. I never met the grader in person, and he was someone I had only heard in lectures on tape. I had formed a negative opinion of him from the lectures and the exam commentary only furthered my dislike of him.

Years have gone by and I have not had occasion to look at these exams for a long time. However over the past few weeks I needed to use these exams to teach something, and when I re-read the comments (now 6 years old) I was shocked to experience the level of anger and bitterness I felt rise up in me and I heard come out of my mouth.

Why I was shocked I don’t know- I now clearly recall being this angry at the time! How can I experience this level of anger and bitterness all these years later, and where on earth did this come from?

The simple, and truthful answer is that it has been stored up in my heart for all these years because I never dealt with it biblically. I made a decision years ago to file away my thoughts and beliefs and feelings about this along with those exams and now they have come back to defile many. Hebrews 12:15 says, “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled”

I shared my thoughts about this person and his grading of my test with a small group of people one evening and the bitterness in my heart was completely apparent. My grumbling and complaining was contagious as a few other people began to talk about “unfair” grades they received on papers in the past. It was amazing to me to see the level of emotion rising in the room as several of us talked unkindly about those situations. My bitterness was the catalyst to their self-disclosure. I was rejoicing as I listened to them because I felt vindicated and righteous for being angry.

It didn’t take long however for the gentle conviction of the Holy Spirit to affect my heart. As I left the building that night I realized that I had been holding all this bitterness and anger in my heart and I replayed in my mind what that had done to the group I was with.

As I thought about it on the drive home, I realized that I was bitter toward this man for doing his job! I had to ask myself what his goal was. He was to see to it that I was proficient in the skills I was being tested on. I had to ask myself if it was personal- were his comments and corrections aimed at my character or at my personhood. No they were not- this man had never laid eyes on me, all he knew of me was my test and the brief disclosures I was to make on an introductory cover sheet. I had to ask myself if I was judging him unjustly and my only conclusion was, yes. I did not like his opinions on my test answers and I took it personally. My pride was wounded all those years ago and I never dealt with it biblically.

Obviously I had to deal with this right away! It was too late that night to speak with those I had affected in the group, so I had a week to contemplate and think on this whole thing. I know and teach that the scope of confession is as great as the scope of offense so I knew I needed to confess my bitterness to them and ask their forgiveness for venting my sinful heart to them and for leading a few of them to sin by my poor example. But first, I had to confess my bitterness and anger to God. It was not as though God didn’t already know about this…He has been aware of my heart all this time and what is contained inside of it. Why God allowed it to go on this long is a question I do not have the answer to but I am thankful that I am seeing it now and dealing with it once for all.

As I examined my heart I realized that not only have I harbored bitterness toward this man for his criticism of my answers, I was judging him in my heart as well. I was assigning malicious intent to his actions, and judging his motives.

I was grieved to the core at my sin. I admitted to God that I had been carrying around this bitterness for a long time, that I had judged this man unjustly, that my pride had been affected, and that I was totally self-righteous in my thinking.

The next step was to confess what the Holy Spirit has shown me (bitterness, pride, self-righteousness) to the group of people and to ask their forgiveness for encouraging them to sin as a result of my displayed anger and bitterness.

God is incredible. He is so gracious and so gentle in His dealings with me! I did not arrive at these conclusions through fear or intimidation, through threats or a verbal or spiritual clubbing. I came to understand and believe the truth about this sin in my heart in a gentle and convicting way. I simply held my words, thoughts, reactions, feelings and desires up against the Word of God, and the character of the Lord Jesus Christ and realized I was not bringing Him glory by any of it.

You may want to believe that you can “gloss over” sin and leave it in the past without dealing with it biblically through confession and repentance, but that is not so! Sin is insidious and hates exposure. My sin was content to stay buried in my heart and eat away at me directly and indirectly. The more you pursue holiness, and the more you desire to glorify God the more you can be certain God will clean out those little locked boxes in your heart. His desire is that you and I be holy as He is holy, and He will use all the means at His disposal to complete the work that He has started (Phil.2:13). God is completely faithful and He will not leave you or I mid-stream, He is intent on our being conformed to the image and likeness of Christ in total. Rejoice in this, and be glad!

Our Inheritance in Christ

Today we are going to look at the inheritance we have in Jesus Christ. It is a part of our study of Ephesians 1. Yesterday we were in Ephesians 1:11, and I taught you that because we are in Christ we have an inheritance coming. Part of our inheritance is that we are “in Christ” to begin with, that God has graciously placed us there in eternity past.

The greater part of our inheritance is in the future when we leave this earth through death (or rapture) and enter into His presence. We often struggle with really grasping these things because we are so temporally oriented. We do tend to live in today, and since we have never experienced anything like “eternal life” before we struggle to put it into a context we can understand. Our ability is limited to the best earthly things we can think of. We have never experienced sinless, so how can we relate to that? One day we will experience that though, it is a part of our inheritance!

We will also inherit

• Eternal salvation “so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.” Titus 3:7
• Eternal glory – “through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.” Romans 5:2
• The universe- “in these last days has spoken to us in His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the world.” Hebrews 1:2
• The eternal presence of God Himself- “And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them…” Revelation 21:3

Our limited understanding does not allow us to fully understand what any of these things are going to be like, to even try makes my head hurt! Faith is required to accept that these things are ours and are certain.

I cannot emphasize enough that the reason we are given these things is by grace alone! You and I did nothing to earn or merit this special favor from God; it was by His own goodness and mercy that we have been placed in Christ. According to Eph 1:13 you received it after hearing the “the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation…”

And “having also believed…”

Hearing the gospel and believing it are both required to obtain salvation. Many people have heard the gospel through evangelistic messages but not all have believed. According to Ephesians 1, all those who God has chosen will believe! This is a great comfort to me when I think of loved ones who as of yet have not been saved. I can rest in God’s plan for their lives knowing that it is not up to me that they be saved. I do not have to cajole, manipulate, beg or plead with them; I only have to clearly and correctly deliver the message of truth. I then pray for their heart to be open and soft to receive the Word.

Once we believe, the Bible says we are “sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory.”

I love this! The Holy Spirit of God living in us is the guarantee that we belong to God! The Holy Spirit indwells us from the moment we believe, and He makes God’s Word understandable to us, He causes us to desire God, desire to pray, and desire to know God more.

The Holy Spirit is also a deposit by God – literally earnest money – that He intends to take us home to be with Him one fine day. If you have ever purchased a home you are familiar with the term “earnest money.” When you find the home you want to purchase you give something that proves you intend to come back to claim it. The Holy Spirit residing within us is God’s earnest money for our redemption. He intends to come for us and proves that by leaving a part of Himself with us! It is His mark on us, and it says, “You belong to Me and to no other. I claim you, and no one can take you away from Me.” Jesus said this much better:

“…I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. “My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. John 10:28-29

Simply glorious!

Gaining All Wisdom and Insight

We are continuing our study of Ephesians 1 today and picking up at the end of verse 8 and beginning of verse 9, depending on your translation.

“In all wisdom and insight ⁹He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him ¹⁰with a view to an administration suitable to the fullness of the times, that is, the summing up of all things in Christ, things in the heavens and things on the earth.” Ephesians 1:8-9

This is speaking of God’s wisdom, but I wanted to tell you something while we are on the subject of wisdom. Do you know that the greatest thing we as Christians can long to possess in Christ is wisdom? Wisdom is the ability to look at life from God’s perspective. The book of Proverbs is absolutely overflowing with admonitions to seek wisdom and tells us of the multiple rewards there are in this life for being wise. There are over 200 references to “wisdom” in the Bible!

The second chapter of 1 Corinthians makes clear to us the kind of wisdom we should be pursuing:

• Our wisdom is not to be manipulative or haughty, it is to be simple and understandable to those who listen to us speak about God and Jesus Christ (v1)

• Our wisdom is to be all of Christ (v2)

• Wisdom we possess is given to others with our full and express understanding that we are not the originators of this knowledge, and that God is the One who has given us all that we say. Our words are not our own, the knowledge is too lofty for us to even fully understand at times! (v3,4)

• Our wisdom should be the kind that leads others to seek to follow the Lord Jesus Christ, not to create a personal following for ourselves. It is to be wisdom that comes from faith. (v5)

Verse 6,7 of this same passage says, “Yet we do speak wisdom among those who are mature; a wisdom, however, not of this age nor of the rulers of this age, who are passing away; ⁷but we speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God predestined before the ages to our glory…”

This dovetails perfectly with something else I wanted to cover today from Ephesians 1:9-10 regarding the mystery of God’s will. You and I dear believer are a part of that mystery. Our salvation was something that was kept a secret to the saints of old. This age of grace that we live in, where Gentiles are offered the same fellowship with God through our adoption as his sons and daughters, and that we would be saved from sin and damnation through His son was something that God the Father did not reveal until the appropriate time for Him to reveal it.

The Jewish rulers did not know this, nor did they have wisdom to understand it or they would not have crucified the Lord Jesus Christ! (1Cor. 2:8-10)

God has made known to us the mystery of His will through our relationship in Christ. His intention is that those outside the Hebrew race are to be a part of His family through our adoption as sons (Ephesians 2:14). This is a beautiful picture of God’s love for us! These verses highlight that God has always intended Christ to be the Redeemer, the centerpiece of all creation. One day in the future He will be revealed as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and all who believe in Him we come with Him in triumphant procession.

In Him ¹¹also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, ¹²to the end that we who were the first to hope in ^£Christ would be to the praise of His glory.

Because of Christ our future is secure. We can live life knowing without any fear or doubt who we belong to, what our purpose is here, and where we are headed when we leave this life. We have a wonderful inheritance awaiting us! Not one of gold or silver, but of riches that are indescribable. Think on this: we will inherit all that belongs to Jesus Christ. We are co-heirs, remember? What He inherits, we inherit! His riches are our riches!

What is our inheritance? That is what we will look at tomorrow!

God's Lavish Grace

Today we will continue our mini-study in Ephesians 1 and pick it up at verse 7.

“In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us.”

This verse continues the thought of the previous verses. Because of the grace of God that has been lavished on us we have redemption and forgiveness. Think for a minute on the definition of word “lavish.”

“To give or apply with abundance” (Dictionary.com)

When I think of a word picture for lavish, I think of an ice cream sundae that has hot fudge and whip cream oozing over the rim of the dish and down my arm. There is so much of it that I cannot contain it, nor can I keep up with eating it. It is out of control and beyond my ability to deal with it. Applying this to the grace of God, I think that God’s grace is so abundant, so plentiful that I am immersed in it; there is so much of it that everywhere I turn grace is there. And it is not cheap or flimsy grace either; it is full and rich, complete and costly. The grace bestowed on us had a price affixed to it- the blood of Jesus Christ.

Redemption, forgiveness and grace are inseparable. You may already know that our redemption was accomplished by Christ’s death on the cross, but what does that mean? We were prisoners of sin (Isaiah 61:1) and incapable of freeing ourselves. We had no acceptable ransom and our debt was far too great for us to ever repay. In addition, nothing we brought to God would ever be acceptable (Isaiah 64:6) to Him. They would be works of sinful people and inherently unacceptable to God.

God required a perfect sacrifice (1 Peter 1:18, 19). Not one of gold or silver or other created things or of personal “good” works (Romans 11:6) because nothing we could ever bring to God would be enough to make us holy. The only acceptable sacrifice was a perfect, unblemished, sinless sacrifice. No human could fit that description, nor could anything created because all the world is under the curse (Gen 3:14ff, Romans 8:20, 21). Jesus Christ is our perfect sacrifice (John 1:29). “…with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.” 1 Peter 1:19. He is the only one who can save us from our sin.

This Easter week, think hard on who Jesus is to you. Is He your Lord and Savior?

To the Praise of the Glory of His Grace

Yesterday we began looking at the book of Ephesians and made our way through the first 5 verses. Today we will pick up our little study where we left off.

Verses 5,6 of Ephesians 1 tell us, “In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.”

I want to focus on the idea of being adopted by God in Christ first. Yesterday our focus was on our unworthiness to be adopted but today I want to look into what this adoption means to us and does for us.

When a child is adopted the judge makes sure the adoptive parent fully understands what is taking place and how it will affect the parent and the child. The child becomes a “full heir” to everything the parent has just as though the child were his or her biological child. The child is entitled to all material and worldly goods, the parent’s name and heritage. The child is placed into the adoptive family by legal decree and it is a binding and permanent action once it is done.

The Bible teaches us that in eternity past God predestined us (chose us out of the rest) to be adopted as His children. This means that God intended you and I to be in His family and took the steps needed to make it so. When we accepted Christ (got saved) we came into the family of God. We were placed into the family of God by the choice and will of the Father through the actions of the Son. We became heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ! “…you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ…” Romans 8:15-17

Think with me- the wealth of riches that is available to us as children of God!! God no longer considers us His enemy; He proclaims joyfully He is our Father! There is no reason for us to approach God with fear and trembling we are to come boldly into the throne room and in effect run across the floor and bound into the arms of the living God! (Heb. 4:16) Oh, what a Savior!

I have trouble understanding (from a human standpoint) that He has done these things for me. I have an occasional glimpse of how horrible I am inside and know that I am worth nothing apart from Him. I remember clearly many of my sins before I became a Christian and I hang my head in shame as I think of how He loved me before I ever knew Him (Romans 5:8).

In ways that remain mysterious to me God is glorified through the redemption of a sinner such as I. I do understand that saving the sinner puts His grace on display to the world. Grace is getting something I do not deserve and mercy is not getting what I do deserve. Both grace and mercy are abundant with God in the saving of the sinner and His motive dear friend is pure love. Imagine that.

Blessed With Every Spiritual Blessing

I have been making my way through the book of Ephesians again. Ephesians is my most current favorite book of the New Testament and the other day I was reminded as to why during a conversation with a friend.

Paul penned such wonderful truths in the first 3 chapters, deep solid theological truth that is so relevant for our lives in the here and now. Allow me to point you to several wonderful things –

In chapter 1, Paul tells us who we are and what we are in Christ and why.

We- as in you and I fellow believing sister- have been “blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.” Take just a moment and think about what that really means! How many spiritual blessings do you suppose there are; hundreds, maybe millions? How many do you need? Essentially, what we are told here is that we are complete in Christ (Col. 2:10). We have all we need. This is significant when we think we are unable to accomplish something or overcome a sinful habit. God tells us here and in other places in Scripture that we have all we need for this life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3-4).

In verse 4 Paul begins to reveal another astonishing truth, “He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world…” God chose every believer before the foundations of the world were set in place. He chose us before we had ever done everything good or bad, He chose us before we chose Him, He chose us before we existed in any manner other than His mind. This is what is known as predestination and shows us that our being “in Christ” is a response to what God determined long ago.

We were chosen by God to be “holy and blameless before Him.” It was God’s will that we be holy and blameless and God accomplishes this through our union with Christ. Our holiness is imputed or applied to us by God. This is a positional or vertical holiness and means that we use it like a form of the verb “be.” Holiness and blameless before God is something we are. Being blameless is likewise something we are and is also a result of being in Christ. These are both practically applied in that the expectation is that we live and act what we are. Since God has declared that you and I are holy and blameless, the way we live our lives ought to reflect that!

Verses 5,6 tell us, “In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.” These are more power packed truths! First God reveals His motive for why He has done this for us, He loves us! Our great God who spoke the universe into existence chose us and saved us because He loves us, and because it brings Him glory to do so! Look back at what He says! He adopted us out of our previous family- the family of death (Eph. 2:1-2) with full knowledge and awareness of exactly what we are. God sees the heart (1 Sam. 16:7) and knows our blackest, darkest intentions. He sees the secret places of our heart (Ps. 139:3-4) and every individual thought and motive we have. We are described in our unredeemed and unbelieving state as “dead in trespasses and sins” “without hope” and even as children of the devil! Exactly what is so great about us that God would want us? I know I brought nothing good to Christ; I brought nothing but my sin. The fact that I was worthless and such a wretch is what brings God glory in this transaction. God took something useless and ungodly and has brought Himself glory through redeeming it- through redeeming me.

Wow, what a wonderful God He is!

Meditate on these verses today, think about them, look them up in your own Bible and cross-reference the other verses. I hope and pray that you will be as awed as I am about what God has done. Praise Him! Give Him glory and thanksgiving for His mercy and grace toward you today!

Book Review

I want to make you aware of an excellent book by Jerry Bridges. The title is Respectable Sins- Confronting the Sins We Tolerate. Our Women's Bible Studies have been going through this book in small group format the past few weeks. Using the book and additional study guide the material will take you 8 weeks to complete.

This book exposes the heart of the things that we, as Christians tend to want to gloss over in every day life. Jerry begins the book with several chapters on sin and its consequences and offers Jesus Christ as only One who can cleans us from sin. He moves into specific areas of sinful attitudes and behaviors and reveals ungodliness as the root of all the "respectable sins" that we commit. He examines numerous areas of the heart under the bright light of the Word of God and I can tell you that this book has cut each of us women to the quick.

Respectable Sins is well worth the price for those who desire to deal with the common place sins they have learned to ignore.

If I could, I would purchase a case of them and give them out to every Christian I know because much of what Jerry Bridges says is needed in our culture that tends to excuse sin and abuse the grace of God.

Respectable Sins is published by NavPress.

Keep Looking for Changes

This spring brings many changes in our lives- again. Each of these changes tests my faith and commitment to Jesus Christ. It is the way He has designed them, and they fulfill His purpose for me.

My family has undergone a lot in the past decade. You might think that that is not unusual- a family should have a number of changes in a decade! However, our family has experienced so many changes that it somewhat boggles my mind to reflect on them.

We have experienced every sort of familial change you can get- with the exception of one of us being divorced. Family members dying, parents becoming very ill in their old age and requiring consistent assistance from us. Our two oldest children left the nest, one married and moved to another State, the other joined the Air Force and is also far away. My husband's job situation had been off and on for a few years, and our finances have been stretched very thin. We have at times relied on the help of our friends and church to "make it" through these times.

These years have grown in us a trust in the Lord that would not have been there otherwise. I distinctly remember when one disaster hit sitting down and saying, "The Lord gives and He takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord." I assure you, this would not have been my normal response prior to all this. However, I had seen how God's hand moves and works and in each preceding trial He revealed to us His faithfulness, care, and love. We never went without, we always made a way. That is a testimony to Him, not our resourcefulness!

And now another change is in the wind- leaving our home. This home has witnessed all these changes and has been at the center of some of our greatest struggles and joys. We have literally put our blood, sweat and even tears into the walls and floors of this old barn of a home.

The walls echo with the love we have had here. Our children all grew up here, and the sound of their feet pounding down the staircase and out the door to play echoes through my mind. The smell of the lilacs in spring, the nights sitting on the long front porch watching the stars...these are but a few of the memories.

We destroyed and rebuilt a part of this house- Larry and I. We laughed and enjoyed the process, sometimes well into the wee hours of the night as we laid flooring, or painted newly built walls.

Our kids saw their first day of Kindergarten from this house, and graduation from High School. Homecomings, Proms, first dates, parties, dinners, friends and family all feed into why it is so hard to go... If these old walls could speak.

Change is hard. I know God's grace abounds to me in this. It is at His direction we leave here! Not His audible voice of course, but a sure and settled belief that it is time for the next chapter in our lives. One that will soon be just Larry and I.

Are You Discontent Today?

If you are discontent today you are not alone! Discontent is at an all time high in many quarters of life, even among Christians. The worship and passionate pursuit of Christ has become a worship and desperate search for material things. Our hearts have become focused on acquiring all kinds of stuff! And sadly enough those hearts of ours are quickly discontented even when we get all the stuff we desired.

Why is it that we are not a content people? Why do our hearts continue to long after things that are so meaningless? I think it is because many of us have hard lives. I was listening to a sermon by John MacArthur one day, and he said that most Christians are poor; and that is by God’s design. Jesus said that we will have many troubles in this world, and our lives bear that out don’t they?

How do we become or remain content at heart in a world that is calling us to have more, do more, be more every waking minute? And in a world that tells us that what we have and who we are is somehow inferior?

How can we have contented hearts? It is a question I ask myself all the time and I have made a study of it as I meet with women each week who ask me the same question.

In 1 Tim 6:6 Paul said, “godliness with contentment is great gain.” It is Gods desire that we are content in the place and position He has placed us in. In Phil 4:11 Paul says, “I have learned to be content…” Have you learned the secret of a contented heart yet? I meditate on this constantly.

My heart contains my thoughts, emotions, desires, will, mind, soul, feelings, beliefs…the essence of what makes me “me” – and it also contains the Holy Spirit of the Living God. My heart is the place that becomes discontent with things in life. The heart is the seat of our grumblings and complaining. It is the heart that must learn to be content.

Let me draw you a word picture: Imagine your own heart and picture it is filled with "self." Next to your heart picture a box with an arrow coming from your heart to that box. The box would contain the thoughts, beliefs and desires of your heart as it is filled with self.

What would your heart contain? Would there be thoughts like: I want…. someone should give me…. if only he would…. Why can’t I have, be, go… I should have…. If I would not have…. Why does she….and not me….

Next to that box, picture another box with another arrow from the first box to this one. In this box would be all the results or behaviors of thinking those kinds of thoughts- anger, frustration, irritation, sorrow, self-pity, greed, idolatry, covetousness, jealousy… discontent.

We may have all been there at some time, and maybe you are right now. It seems tax time brings out the discontentment that lurks in our hearts. The media – television and newspaper exists to tell you that what you have is not good enough so we want more.

The apostle Paul said this: "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need." Philippians 4:11-12

You are perhaps very familiar with this passage of Scripture and its context. Paul was in prison while he penned these words to the church at Philippi. He was nearing the end of his life and had experienced many horrible things at the hands of both Jews and Gentiles.

Paul says in 2 Cor. 11:23-28 he has been “in far more labors, in far more imprisonments, beaten times without number, often in danger of death. Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren; I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.” And yet he says he has learned how to be content.

As I was preparing for this entry today, I was looking at these verses and really picking them apart. Particularly Phil 4:11-12. I looked at several different versions and looked at the Greek to be sure the translations were faithful to the original. Something really struck me about verse 12: “in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.”

The Strongs version says this: “every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” Can you say that today?

Albert Barnes, in his commentary on this passage says: A contented mind is an invaluable blessing, and is one of the fruits of religion in the soul. It arises from the belief that God is right in all his ways. Why should we be impatient, restless, discontented? What evil will be remedied by it? What want supplied? What calamity removed? “The cheerful heart has a continual feast.” Prov. 15:15; One of the secrets of happiness is to have a mind satisfied with all the allotments of Providence.

Paul learned contentment through trials. He learned the secret of being filled and having abundance despite going hungry and suffering need. How did he do this, and what message is there for us in the text?

First, learn to give thanks in all things. Paul learned one aspect of contentment is thankfulness. This is perhaps the most important thing in life and also the most neglected I think. "…in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess. 5:18

How do you give thanks for problems and trials? A couple of years ago on the day before Thanksgiving, and 4 weeks before our son’s wedding my husband came home from work in the middle of the day. He had been let go from his job. This was the third employment disaster to hit us that year. None of the employment issues were his fault they were all results of other things. When I came downstairs and found him in the kitchen and he told me what had happened that day I had two choices- I could be angry or I could be thankful. I was thankful. The job had been very difficult for him ethically. He is a counselor and the place he had been working was more interested in financial gain than integrity. While it was really bad it was also a relief to know that God had taken care of this decision. Being thankful did not mean I left my fears at the curb.

This left us with a whole set of very difficult problems- like how we were going to pay the mortgage and eat -not even counting our son’s upcoming wedding which was to be the week before Christmas in another State!

I had to practice the second principle- I had to learn how to trust God. I am still learning how to trust Him, but the difficult events of my life particularly over the past 7 years have made it easier. I have learned that in spite of how impossible and terrible things may look God is always in control of the events of my life.

For those who know Christ we know that God is all knowing, and He is directing the universe and the events of our lives with wise and gracious care. We know that nothing takes place outside of the scope of His sovereignty. We know that God is aware, God has a plan and God is in charge.

God has determined before the foundations of the world were set in place that we would be conformed to the image and likeness of Christ. We be confident and trust that He uses our trials to accomplish our transformation. If we truly know God, we can rest and trust in Him. We can be content even as we struggle or suffer because we believe that what we are in the midst of has a purpose and reason beyond what we can see today. Our hearts can be satisfied in knowing and believing God is at work in them. That despite how grim our present circumstances are or appear to be that God is sovereign.

Phil 4:6 touches on both giving thanks to God and trusting Him. We are to be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. This does not mean that God will provide everything you want. He is not the genie in the bottle, nor is He a cosmic Santa Clause. God promises to provide what you need and because He is all knowing He knows what we genuinely need better than we do. Oh this can be very hard to accept. It takes us to our next principle of contentment-

Lean to be satisfied with little. In our world of excessive, super sized American culture the idea of having “less” is so looked down on. We shake our heads at families who have only 1 car, or live cheaply when they may not have to. The prevailing attitude seems to be well sure you could live with less, but why would you want to? Again, revealing the desires of the heart. Do you know that greed is considered idolatry in the Bible and how little it takes to be considered greedy? Paul understood that covetousness and contentment are mutually exclusive. In 1 Timothy 6:6 he told Timothy: “Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.”

I grew up lacking nothing, and so did my husband. Our children have not had that luxury. I have had to learn to be satisfied with less; sometimes I have had to learn to be satisfied with nothing at all. Paul had learned to make the choice to be satisfied with little, and he knew it was important for others to learn to make that same choice. Satisfaction is a heart issue.

Contentment is a heart issue. It is something we must truly choose for ourselves. We must come to the place where we believe that He is enough. That even if all of life should fall away we would still be content with Him, with who we are in Him.

Our God is completely aware of what we have and don’t have. We have to make a choice if we are going to slap at His provisions with a thankless heart or graciously accept what He provides with gratitude. So often I have to remind women that what is in the closet to wear is not important! The kind of car is not important! To be thankful there is anything to eat in the pantry when they want something that is not there! To be glad they can go to Aldi when they would rather shop at Pick n Save or Sentry.

Too often I meet women who are so unhappy with their lives. They have placed the focus on things and people not performing to their expectations or desires. Husbands that don’t pay them enough attention, or children that are difficult to raise. Perhaps they have a physical problem that causes them to live in pain or a relationship problem that brings heartache. To be content in such circumstances is difficult but not impossible

We will experience contentment as we learn to live above life’s circumstances.

We each have our own set of heartaches and we can rise above them and live joyful and content lives in spite of them. It involves changing your focus from self to God and His glory. At the beginning of todays blog I asked you to picture a heart that is focused on self and the thoughts, beliefs, and desires of the heart that result from that focus. Now I would ask you to see another heart- this one with God and His glory in the center of it.

The first box with the arrow from the heart to the box that contains these thoughts as a result of a heart that is focused on God and His glory would be something like: trust, confidence, faith, long suffering, patience, kindness, love, selfless and probably many more things. The second box would contain the results or behaviors of these thoughts: they might look like: joy, peace, grace, mercy, patience, confidence…contentment.

You see; the heart that makes its goal the glorification of God is going to manifest these things, it is going to be able to live above the circumstances and not focus on the circumstances of life. This woman will make it her goal to please Him and to do what 1 Cor. 10:31- 1 Cor 11:1 says,
“Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense either to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God; just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit but the profit of the many, so that they may be saved. Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.”

Christ and Paul lived sacrificial lives. They thought little to nothing of their own comforts or selves. It was all about the will of God for them, about bringing others to salvation in Christ, finding God, the eternal goals.

If in putting all of this into practice, you are still struggling with being discontent I would urge you to put all of self aside and begin to focus on others. One assignment I give to my counselee’s is to choose 3 of the “one another’s” of Scripture each week and put them into practice. I have a 4 or 5 page handout I created that lists them all and they can have their pick on which ones to put into practice, but they must choose 3 each week and then report to me the results. This is in keeping with numerous passages of Scripture, but most notably Phil 2:3-4 “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

There is of course no way we can do this on our own power- we must rely on God. Does this bring Him glory? YES! This is why in every way we can be content. We only need to have a willing heart, and God promises to equip us to do the rest! Phil 4:13 says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” you can be content, you can imitate Christ, you can move beyond the discontent the world tries so hard to build into your heart and cause to overflow into your life.

Just as Paul did, we can trust the promises of God, and we can do it in the power and strength of Christ. Like Paul, we can learn to rely on Christ’s promise, that “He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man” Eph. 3:16. The inner man is where the heart resides.

Do you see how it all goes back to Him? The promise comes from Him, the strength and power to succeed come from Him, and all of this is for glory to go back to Him. Contentment flows out of this kind of heart out of these attitudes of the heart and the glory goes back to God.

Even in the midst of the trials and problems of these days, even these days before we are to celebrate the birth of Christ- these days that are so prone to revive our discontent we can find refuge for our souls- we can find the contentment we so long for. We can and will find it in hearts that are satisfied in Him and Him alone.

Pressing On Toward Knowing Him

Yesterday we began looking at what "pressing on" involves. Today we will focus on pressing on toward knowing Him.

In Philippians 3:10 Paul said, "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings, becoming like him in his death..." Paul desired an intimate, personal, experiential relationship with Christ on every human level possible! We are all about knowing the power of his resurrection, but completely miss that right after the power line comes "the fellowship of His sufferings." Knowing Jesus includes knowing suffering.

We say we want to know Christ, and yet when things comes into life that will help us in attaining knowledge of Him on more than a superficial level we whine and complain and immediately begin asking God to take it away!

We are content with head knowledge about suffering and are quite willing to press on through the other side of the situation as long as it does not include much suffering, but we really don't want application of the "pressing on" part.

What most people completely miss is that in the trenches is where our head knowledge about God comes to life! When I am pressing on in suffering I can go back to my sound theology and preach truth to myself. I can understand how to apply James 1 and 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 because my theology teaches me that God has a purpose in my pressing on in the trial, there is a purpose in suffering.

This is applying theology to real like, to every day problems, and these things help me to "know Christ!" You and I become deeply acquainted with Him in dark days. Our faith is built up as we watch His faithfulness and see that His mercies are indeed new every morning. In our trials, our theology is inhaling and exhaling, it is living and breathing, and you and I are "knowing Christ."

In Ephesians 1:17 Paul is praying for the Ephesian church to come to know God in a deeper way. He says, " I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know Him better." The word "know" means in this context to know with full discernment, to know fully. That sounds pretty good! Getting the Spirit of wisdom and revelation...but that is so we can understand the reason for the trials, the reason for the pain, the reason it is hard to press on, and to understand the hope of our calling and election as we face the stuff of life.

You can know Jesus is God from reading it in a book, or commentary as in a study of theology; or you can Know Him experientially as He meets the need of the moment faithfully day by day as you press on toward that ultimate prize- the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Press on dear friends, know Him!

Revisiting the Judgment

I have been talking with a woman who is hitting a rough patch in her marriage. She read my post on The Value of Being Judged and had some questions. I thought it was valuable enough to share with you today, with her permission of course.

First thing to understand is that being judged hurts. Especially when the judgment is unjustified or untrue. This woman related to me a story about when she and her husband were painting a ceiling. They were painting white over white and it was difficult to tell what had been painted already. While her husband was staring at the ceiling she thought she would help him by getting the roller full of paint so he could pick up where he left off. He interpreted this as a controlling action and became very upset with her. She reports that no matter how many times she explained her actions he persisted in believing she was trying to control the situation. It escalated into an argument that lasted several days and brought both of them pain and distress.

Small snapshot from life but it illustrates the point well. Her motives were to be helpful to her husband, but her actions were judged in an entirely different manner and this hurt. If this wife does not deal biblically with her hurt two things will result: anger and bitterness.

Anger and bitterness are often the result of being hurt by someone. We get angry because we got something we didn't want or because we didn't get something we wanted and if the anger is not confessed and resolved a person will become bitter at heart. Bitterness is unresolved anger and is a festering poison that can completely destroy a relationship and a person. The only "cure" for anger is forgiveness. The only "cure" for the hurt this wife feels is forgiveness.

Even if the husband has wrongly judged her actions and misinterpreted her motives, she would do well to examine what God is doing this this situation. She would be wise to get God's perspective and determine to obey the Word in spite of how she feels.

Each of us is obligated before God to forgive those who have hurt us, even when we don't want to in our flesh, and even when we don't feel like it. This prevents the root of bitterness from springing up and defiling many other people.

It is also important for her to keep her focus on getting the log out of her own eye. It is so easy for us to look at the sins the other person brings to the argument (what the Bible refers to as the specks) and forget to see what fuel she is adding to the situation. She must ask herself "Is there anything right about what he is saying to me?" Determine if her attitude is out of line, or is she sarcastic or demeaning in her tone and language? Is she determining to think the best of her husband even during this argument? If not, she must confess where she has wronged him and ask his forgiveness. This is hard- especially if her husband does not reciprocate in confession and seeking her forgiveness. Hard but not impossible.

She must also make it her goal to be focused on what glorifies God in the circumstance! She can do this by asking herself questions such as, "How can I respond to his accusation in a way that glorifies God?" "What can I do to diffuse this situation rather than prolong the argument?"

These are all things God asks of us in marriage, and none of them are mere suggestions. We are commanded to live at peace with one another, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, serve one another, think the best of one another, and love one another sacrificially. Sacrificial love is what Christ demonstrated toward us and our response to Him should and must be to do the same by the power of the Holy Spirit.

The Value of Being Judged

Have you ever been judged? Rather than focusing on the person who judged you, think for a moment about what this judgment revealed in you. What was your response toward the person who was judging you? Were you angry, put out, outraged? Did you have a desire to justify yourself or make excuses to this person? Were you hurt? Did you begin to recite in your head a whole bunch of negative things about the person who was judging you? Maybe it was not confined to your thoughts and you spoke out loud...


What you did with this judgment reveals a lot about your heart. Your heart is described in biblical terms as the immaterial part of you that is the place of thoughts, beliefs, and desires. It also is the place that your mind, will, and emotions reside. Your heart is where your soul resides. The Bible has more to say about the heart than I have space for here! A couple of very notable verses that make my point perfectly are found in Proverbs 27:19 "As in water face reflects face, So the heart of man reflects man", and in Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; Who can understand it?"


In Matthew 15:18 Jesus tells us that what comes out of our mouths reveals the heart. "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders." When you were responding (even if it was only in your head!) to that criticism or judgment by thinking all those negative things about the one confronting you, you were revealing your heart. The Bible refers to these things as evil thoughts and slanders.


Few people understand that these kinds of thoughts are part of them, and are serious. Most of us like to whisk them away to a far corner of our psyche and pretend they don't really exist or only come out on rare occasions; that we are too good to have these thoughts on a continuum. We play games with ourselves with nice sounding excuses about how we could ever think such thoughts. We chalk them up to "being tired" "being stressed" "having a bad day" and tell ourselves it is ok, everyone does this from time to time. When you and I lie to ourselves by saying,"I am a good person even though I am having bad thoughts" we are passing by an opportunity for heart change.


Heart change is another aspect of progressive sanctification whereby I become more like Jesus Christ in my inner man. Without heart change, there is no lasting change of any kid. All change that is meaningful comes from within and reaches my thought processes by renewing my mind (Romans 12:2) and my beliefs which are then affected by my new way of thinking. My desires are also affected because I now am thinking about God rather than myself and what would please and glorify Him and I desire to make that a reality in my life. This is why simple behavior modification is not enough!


When my heart begins to be impacted and affected by the Word of God my responses to judgment will be different. Rather than return fire I become willing to examine my heart and see with Biblical eyes if what is being said to me about me is possible or true. I want to change, I want to eliminate these sins from my life and I then begin to view the person who brings me these judgments as an instrument of God rather than an unwelcome intruder in my life.


It is ultimately God who has allowed this to come to pass and who among us can argue with God?