The Heart of Communication

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45 (NIV)

This is an incredibly convicting verse for me. There are so many times I say things that I don’t want to mean! There are so many times I want to declare that I didn’t mean what I said in the heat of the moment, but I cannot. The above verse and its companion verse below make it so very painfully clear that when I speak I am revealing the stuff that is lurking in my heart. It is a very unhappy realization.

But evil words come from an evil heart and defile the person who says them. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all other sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. Matthew 15:18-19 (NLT)

Do you understand what each of these verses say? For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. Evil words come from an evil heart….How evil are your words?

I guess that means each of us has a “heart condition” we never thought of before. Have you ever thought about the condition of your heart before? Most people haven’t and they aren’t even sure what “the heart” is! The heart is the immaterial part of each of us that includes your thought, beliefs, emotions, desires, feelings, intentions, and mind. It is the control center of who you are.

The Bible is clear about our heart condition.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9 (NKJV)

The way you communicate is a reflection of what is in your heart. Because the heart is deceitful we don’t realize how sinful we really are, and because the hearts is deceitful we are very good at lying to ourselves!

Many people are referred to as having a big heart, or a good heart but Scripture says this is simply not true. In fact, the deceitful heart is bent on satisfying “me”, what I want, having my own way, living life for my pleasures with “me” at the center of my world. What is at the heart level is what is guiding your thoughts, beliefs, and desires and directly affects communication.

Jesus took the opportunity to speak to the attitudes of the heart when He was questioned by the Pharisees (who were the religious leaders of His day) about pure foods and ceremonial hand-washing. These Pharisees were giving Jesus all kinds of grief about his disciples not following these rituals. This is His wise reply:

“Can’t you see that what you eat won’t defile you? Food doesn’t come in contact with your heart, but only passes through the stomach and then comes out again.” (By saying this, he showed that every kind of food is acceptable.) And then he added, “It is the thought-life that defiles you. For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, eagerness for lustful pleasure, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you and make you unacceptable to God.” Mark 7:18-23 (NLT)

So it is clear that if we ever want to make true changes to our communication habits then we have to begin in the heart and work outwards from there. If you just try and curb your tongue you will be successful for a while, but it won’t last. These changes must begin in the inner man and they will be demonstrated by a change in life.

Next time, we will continue our study in this very crucial area!

The Need for Change in Communication

Do you know why we struggle to communicate?

“There is no one righteous, not even one; Romans 3:10 (NIV)

The sin of Adam has taken mankind, who was created to have a moral capacity and a spiritual resemblance to God, and brought us to a place of complete depravity. The Bible says things like we are lost, blind, without hope, completely depraved, walk in darkness, sons of disobedience, unrighteous, unprofitable, under the wrath of God, and uses other descriptive words to describe our state. Not exactly a bright and cheerful picture of you is it.

Even though the Believer in Christ has been freed from the curse of sin and death we still have the flesh to contend with every second of every day. Over time the flesh is subdued by the Spirit but still we fight the urges of the old way of life! It comes out most clearly in how we communicate with each other.

There are two main categories of communication- Verbal and Non-verbal.

Verbal communication includes speaking, screaming, yelling, singing, cursing, laughing, and grunting just to name a few of the common ones.

Then we have the non-verbal methods of communication. Those would be things like body language, arm crossing, eye rolling, gesturing, dress/clothing, and the way you carry yourself. I am sure you can add things to both of these lists that I haven’t thought of.

Now, take a minute and think about some of the ways you communicate with others at home? Do you do things from the lists above? Are they good things or bad things? Think about your last argument or disagreement with someone. Was it verbal? Did it contain name calling or even cursing? Were there hurtful words flying around? Was there screaming, ranting, raving, or threats? Was the phrase “I hate you” used? How about wishing them dead or in hell?

Was it non-verbal? Turning on the big freeze, refusing to talk at all, but thinking everything you really wanted to say. Door slamming, walking out, pot banging, and foot stamping are all non-verbal methods of communication.

We communicate with all parts of our bodies. The sayings, “If looks could kill I’d be dead,” he was “shooting daggers out of his eyes,” indicate that eyes are powerful non-verbal communicators. Eye rolling indicates the “oh brother” thoughts going on in the mind, downcast eyes reveal shame and fear.

Overall our faces are great communicators. Frowns, wrinkled foreheads, pressed and pinched lips tell you things about me and what is going on in my thoughts and heart.

How we dress also can communicate a message. When a guy shows up for a date in dirty jeans and tee-shirt it can be an indication of how much value he places on his date. Young ladies who dress in a provocative manner are sending clear non-verbal messages to everyone who looks at them as well.

How you sit or stand or carry yourself is also a revelation of what is going on in your heart. Slumped shoulders, hands stuffed in pockets, shuffling down the street can be an indication that a person is burdened, despondent or sorrowful.

Did you ever notice the most eager students seem to sit in the front of the class? I notice where people sit in our counseling classes. The really eager ones sit in front, and they tend to lean forward with interest.

In my counseling office, a counselee with crossed arms is not a good sign. A counselee who pulls the chair up to the desk indicated he or she is interested in what is being said and a husband who sits as far away from his wife as he can get is also sending a clear non-verbal message.

So what does God’s Word say about these types of communication? All these forms of communication come from somewhere. They have become patterns and habits of living that come from the internal, invisible part of each of us that the Bible refers to as the heart of a man.

Next time we are going to look at the role of the heart in communication.

The Devestating Effects of the Fall on Communication

Last time I wrote I asked you what you thought is the reason that we communicate in these ways? Of course, sin would be the overarching reason, but I would maintain that selfishness is the specific reason. Selfishness causes conflict in our physical bodies– headaches, stomachaches, and in the immaterial man or the non-physical part like our emotions- anger, sadness and Spiritual conflict because we sin due to anger and sadness.

How did this get so messed up? It didn’t begin that way. In the Garden God communicated with Adam in a personal way.

The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.” Genesis 2:1-17 (NIV)

The Bible says we were created in the image and likeness of God. (Gen 1:27) the Us in 1:27 is Elohim, the Hebrew word we get our understanding of the Trinity from. The Trinity is a model of perfect communication. They function in perfect harmony and there is never a time when They argue or disagree about anything, and there never will be! If we are created in His image and likeness, what went wrong? Why doesn’t God communicate with us in the same way? Why don’t we have that perfect relationship with each other like Adam and Eve did?

When sin entered the world (Gen 3) that perfect communication was severed. Adam and Eve became aware of good and evil after eating the fruit of the tree they were commanded not to eat from, therefore they were afraid and hid. They desired to break communication with God out of fear of discovery. And God, being Omniscient (all –knowing) didn’t fall for it J. He sought them out and asked questions of accountability.

Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?” Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” Genesis 3:9-13 (NKJV)

This one sinful act by Adam brought sin into the world.

When Adam sinned, sin entered the entire human race. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. Romans 5:12 (NLT)

“There is no one righteous, not even one; Romans 3:10 (NIV)

The sin of Adam has taken mankind, who was created to have a moral capacity and a spiritual resemblance to God, and brought us to a place of complete depravity. The Bible says things like we are lost, blind, without hope, completely depraved, walk in darkness, sons of disobedience, unrighteous, unprofitable, under the wrath of God, and uses other descriptive words to describe our state.

From this background it is suddenly easy to see why we have trouble communicating righteously with each other.

Next time: The need for change

The Power of Your Words in Communication

We are looking at Biblical Communication in this series. This time we are looking at speech.

You already know the power of your words. Your speech impacts many other aspects of your life. I love the accuracy of the Bible in reference to the tongue.

And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself. James 3:6 (NLT)

This same passage uses the metaphor of the rudder to describe the tongue…it’s just a little part of our body, but can cause a whole lot of trouble.

We say many foolish things in speaking to our friends and family. Many of them violate all the rules of godly communication and lead us into conflicts with others. Some of the statements are downright evil!

Instead of asking questions, we tell people what they are thinking and feeling. We tell them things like:

• “You don’t really care.”
• “You shouldn’t feel that way”
• “You are in a bad mood”
• “You don’t love me”

If you think back on your conversations that have gone this way, how helpful has this been? Did your statements accomplish anything positive or lead to an argument? Most people, when confronted with such statements become very defensive and angry that they are being accused of something. This adds to the corruption of the communication process.

If you are like me you have uttered many words you wish you could take back to your children, your parents, spouse or friends. I have said many foolish and hurtful things to other people, even as a Christian! This is not to my credit or God's glory but to my shame. James was truly inspired as he wrote about the tongue and its poison for there is no more accurate a word picture than the one he drew for us.



Our words can be such a gift to others and yet we tend to use them to beat each other emotionally to a bloody pulp. I have observed parents berating their children with words like "stupid", "idiot", and words that are not fit to print. As they berate them verbally the change in posture and countenance is easily discernible. The shoulders slump, eyes cast downward to the floor, lips begin to quiver...the child is ripped apart inside.



The world says that this effects a child's self-esteem. There is something more important at stake than the child's opinion of him or herself! When we speak to anyone (child or adult) in such a disparaging manner we are degrading and denigrating the creation of the living God! We are cursing out someone made in the image and likeness of God and this is far more serious than how that child feels about himself.



Because too few people are taught that they are God-reflectors all they have to cling to is the psychological clap-trap but you will find no such term as "self-esteem" in the Bible.

Next time- the devastating effects of the Fall on communication

Biblical Communication

One of the largest issues in relationships is communication, or the lack of it. Almost without exception when people come looking for help it is due to some form of error in this area. Communication is necessary for relationships and what I can tell you is that it seems most people don’t know how to communicate. Without good communication you will not be able to have the kind of marriage, family, or friendships God desires you to have.

I thought I would take this series to discuss the ways we communicate, both good and bad, and then give you some ways that you can improve in this critical area.

Our speech is a powerful tool for either good or bad. There have been many times I have desperately wished I could put words back into my mouth! God’s Word addresses this topic for us this way;

We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. James 3:2 (NIV)

Those who love to talk will experience the consequences, for the tongue can kill or nourish life. Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)

We struggle with human relationships because we are all so different! God has created us with diverse interests, personalities, and motivations. He has arranged our life circumstances, experiences, opportunities, and the culture we live in.

David Powlison says, “These variations on the human theme find expression in our often marked human differences. Furthermore, the Lord of all the earth often seems to put people together in marriage who are wired differently. As a result, either we grow to compliment each other by learning to give intelligent love (as we communicate biblically) or we incinerate the marriage on the battlefield of insistently different demands.”[1]

If you are like a majority of Christianity today, you are familiar with phrases like “love tank”, and “love cup”, and “languages of love.” These are born of contemporary pop psychology and have nothing whatsoever to do with biblical communication. We tend to demand communication that meets what we perceive to be our needs. This is why all those books in the Christian bookstore fly off the shelves! They are nearly all focused on how others are not meeting the perceived felt needs that we expect others to meet on a consistent basis and how we can get them to do it. It is a shame that so many Believers have bought into it.

Our culture has taught us how to “perform” verbally for each other. In America the universal greeting is, “Hi, how are you today?” to which the standard reply (regardless of the truth or reality) is, “Fine!”

Powlison goes on to say, “…Effective communication may be defined as the process of sharing information with another person in such a way that the sender’s message is understood as he intended it.”

How often is your communication understood as you intended it? Do you find yourself having to explain your explanations? It is only logical to conclude that if the person you are speaking to does not understand what you are saying, you have not communicated effectively.

As women, we have this idea that others can read our minds or are able to extrapolate from our inferences what we are trying to tell them. We rely heavily on non-verbal communication with our husbands and children and while these can be helpful and are one aspect of communication, there must be more to it if we want to be clearly understood.

Next time we will look at the power of our speech.

Personal note: My mom has by God’s grace recovered enough to go home this week. Thank you so much for your prayers!

[1] David Powlison, Critique of Five Love Languages, article- Journal of Biblical Counseling, Fall 2002 page 3.

Are You Devoted or Discouraged? (cont.)

I have been discouraged in both ministry and life in general at times. The times I have been very discouraged have come after times of great joy or victory, just like Elijah experienced after God’s display of glory on Mount Carmel. His response to a threat by Ahab’s Jezebel was to run away and hide and to ask God to take his life. (Have you ever wanted to run away or just die because of the situation you faced? I have!) God did not respond harshly to him, He nourished him and gave him rest even while asking him what he was doing out there laying under the broom tree sulking (1 Kings 19:9-14).

Last time I ended by asking this question: What is the key or secret to living devoted while discouraged? How can you and I not wind up under the broom tree or on some kind of medication for depression or anxiety when faced with terrible discouragement in the midst of serving God?

I believe it begins with our thought life. Focusing on all that is wrong is not helpful, is it? I ask myself what I am thinking about that is adding to my discouragement and determine if it is true and real (Phil 4:8) or just something that I am conjuring up in my mind.

Then I move to my actions, what am I doing that may be adding to the problem? Am I just sitting around and staring at the wall, or am I attempting to do something productive? To just sit and mope or meditate on my misery is not helpful at all.

My desires are next. What do I want to see happen or change? Is what I want something that will honor God or self? Do I desire something out of a selfish heart that is focused only on relieving my suffering and misery?

As I move through each of these areas of my heart I am constantly holding up my conclusions to the light of the Word. Does each thought, belief, and desire fold into the Word of God or stand apart from it? Can I honestly say that I am honoring God in each area?

You see, devotion to the Lord is bound to bring times of discouragement! We are fighting against the flow and pushing against the tide of sinful humanity. Our priorities and perspectives are so vastly different from those of the world that they are bound to collide at times. Our flesh cries out at times for what appears to be the easy life of the unbeliever, who is not held to our biblical standards. It seems at times our trials never seem to end but roll in like waves on the sea.

You and I must learn to accept these things as a result of our being united with Christ! Jesus said, “In the world you have tribulation” (John 16:33) and it is as true today as it was when He said it to His disciples.

The apostle Paul wrote to the Philippians while imprisoned and nearing the end of his life. He wrote the letter that mentions joy over 16 times and attitude and things of the mind 10 times while chained to a wall in a hole. His letter is a wonderful reminder to us that in spite of our circumstances and discouragement we can still be devoted to the cause of Christ!

I want to encourage you to spend some time in Philippians before we meet again, especially if you are discouraged. I pray and trust that a few trips through that letter will lift your countenance.

He is the Hope

Last time I was blogging about how we are hanging onto a promise. I would like to continue that theme today because I find I have more in my head about this important topic.

Over and over Scripture talks about the promises given to Abraham and how many years he had to wait to see those promises fulfilled. He needed faith and hope to continue on believing the promises. (Gen. 12:3; cf. Gen. 15:5; 18:18; 22:18) God made to him.

While I doubt any of us have been promised something so enormous by God in this life, we all as believers in the gospel of Jesus Christ have put our hope in something we cannot see.

For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. Romans 8:24-25

We are waiting for our homecoming, our entrance into heaven and God’s glorious presence. Our admission into glory is fully dependant upon our relationship with Christ. Our hopes are pinned to the hem of His royal robe. It takes great faith to believe these things.

Something the Pastor said Sunday was, “The fight for faith begins in the mind.” That is so important to understand! My mind has to be continuously focused on truth, and the gospel and preaching to myself or I am knocked off the path into the thorns of doubt and confusion.

My mind has to be renewed by His Word and my thoughts have to be centered on how my actions and words can bring Him glory. Otherwise I find I am living for myself and living as a functional idolater.

I must never, ever try to move beyond Jesus. He is the promise, He is all there is, He is complete, He is sufficient, He is enough!

Hanging Onto a Promise

I heard a great sermon Sunday. It centered on my favorite topics of heart and mind change but the route to the point of the sermon was about hope.

Hope is something I have needed this past week. I have been hoping my mom would pull through, and hoping that some things would take place in other areas of life, and I confess I have been discouraged.

The Pastor today (Pastor Buff Powers- yes, Buff Powers!) had some great insights into faith that I needed to hear. One thing he said was “we are hanging onto a promise.” When you think about it, we truly are hanging on to something we have never seen and staking our entire future on it.

I am counting on all that I believe to be true. I am actively trusting that the Bible is the truth and that God is who He is revealed to be in its pages.

I am believing verses like Romans 8:28, 29 in these days of adversity. I cling to those promises; that God causes “all things,” even things like my mom’s sickness and the postponing of our home sale and stresses and trials of daily life to work together for good. That is sometimes a tall order because many of these things are not good in and of themselves and I have to look for the higher purpose in them – higher things that are based on a promise. I am one who loves God, and I have been called to salvation through the gospel of Jesus Christ so this applies to me! I have to remind myself that His purpose in all these things is to become more like Christ.

I am not always sure how flat tires and spoiled hamburger can accomplish this, but I continue to hang onto the promise that it does! I just know that in ways I cannot see that God is slowly but surely accomplishing what He has promised me- that I would be like Christ. Surely not because of who I am, but because it brings glory to Himself to take someone like me- an evil wicked sinner – and change me from the inside out into someone who is unrecognizable as my former self. To do such an amazing work in my heart, mind and life that when others hear of what I used to be that cannot believe it.

This is truly a miracle friends! While I am a long way from perfection by God’s grace I have come a far piece down the road of sanctification. To Him be the glory for ever and ever! Amen!

Living It Out

“…work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” Philippians 2:12b-13

I was talking with one of my sons recently about his growing understanding of Resting, Sanctification, Sovereignty, and Philippians 1:6 & 2:12, 13.

It is a wonderful thing to have children who believe in Christ as their Savior and Lord! I see him struggle to achieve the balance of accepting and working, resting and doing, being sanctified and being sanctified. Each of these (and many more) has been done to us and is to be done by us in some mysterious way that is hard to explain.

I can sum it up in the title of today’s post- Living It Out. God has done all this for us (as true born again believers in Christ) and to us in eternity past. Now we are to daily live out the reality of what that is and means.

For example, I know that I am sanctified - (1 Cor. 1:2, Heb. 10:10) I (like you) started out sinful (Psalm 51:5) an enemy of God (James 4:4), a child of wrath (Eph 2:1-3). I have been set apart by God from eternity past to be one of His children. I was for ordained to be holy and blameless in His sight (Eph 1:4). That is a past completed act that has a present implication. It is a fact; it is something I “am.”

But I am also being sanctified daily! In the part of my sinful nature, or my flesh that remains I am being changed. My flesh cannot be changed because it is not redeemable, but my flesh can be killed, or put to death, through the Spirit (Romans 8:13). This change happens as I live the Scripture that I commit to memory (Rom 12:2), believe that what the Bible says about me is true and LIVE as though it is true. I already am holy because I am in Christ! So then I must carry this through to how I live. I must live holy. How does one live holy? (Psalm 119) By following what the Word of God says about how I am to live life.

Do you see how Scripture is to be the center of all of life and how it is to guide all of life?

This is but one small example of truth and the application of it. Learn who you are, and learn how to live who you are. You don’t have to try to be what God has decreed you are.

Boxing With God

“But I would speak to the Almighty, And I desire to argue with God.” Job 13:3

My friend and Pastor recently told me about a book which was titled something like this: Your Arms are too Short to Box with God.

Have you ever wanted to box with God? Sometimes when we are getting answers from God that we don’t like we want to argue back, or tell God He has just got this wrong.

Scripture says Jacob wrestled with God and that God touched a vital and sensitive area of Jacob’s anatomy, thereby incapacitating him. God intended to show Jacob that He was all powerful, and that He could not be manipulated by Jacob’s usual means. Of course, because He was God He could not be overcome in any event by Jacob.

Jacob was a master manipulator and was accustomed to getting his own way by any method; He lied, cheated and stole his way to the top. (Isn’t it interesting that in spite of all that, God used him in a mighty way? It does make me think- about God’s patience, mercy and how his ways are so much higher than ours are!) He was able to bully and push his way into anything he wanted- except when it came to one night at the ford of Jabbok where he met his match. (Gen 32:14-32)

Job was (as Scripture tells us) a righteous man. He was upright and obedient before God. How he managed not to sin in the midst of his misery is beyond my ability to understand and to do. If I were Job, I would not have succeeded! And yet, Job did question, he did desire to argue with God. He did challenge God’s wisdom and ways in his situation.

I am realizing as I am in the midst of my own whirlwind that like the rest of these awesome heroes of the faith that in my flesh I want to box with God, I want to wrestle with God, and I want to argue with God.

I hate what is happening here, watching my mom whither and decline and seeing her unending suffering. I very much want to argue with God and tell Him how I have a better plan, and how my way is the better way.

Once again, I must return to the immovable sovereignty of God, dear Reader. If I were to choose to “take on” God I would lose- immediately! It is not my place to question nor is it my place to try and give counsel to God. His ways are wonderful!

A personal note today~ I want to thank those of you who have been praying for my mom through this journey of suffering. There is a little progress today but she is still very very weak and we are not out of the woods yet. I would ask you to continue to pray for the mercy of God and His will to be revealed in all of this. Thank you!

I Am Reminded...

I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, Because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul, And You have not given me over into the hand of the enemy; You have set my feet in a large place. Psalm 31:7-8

The affliction is of my heart at the moment. The troubles of my soul are the illness of my mom. I am deeply grieved at her suffering and my inability to do anything about it.

God is present in this suffering, he is present in the midst of the trials.

How can I rejoice in the midst of this?
How can I see the lovingkindness of God?
My soul is in distress.

I am experiencing God in this. I am being kept, and held fast. In my words of assurance to my mom as she lay next to me in the hospital bed I am experiencing God. I am reminded of the truth of the gospel. I am reminded that faith in Christ and His sacrifice is enough. I am reminded that nothing can be added to His provision.

I can rejoice because if He chooses to take her home, it will be home to Him! She will wake up in His arms and be free from pain for all eternity. I can rejoice because she will be waiting for me, I can rejoice because in spite of the pain there is hope.

God's lovingkindness is evident in the provision of pain killing medications and wise doctors and wonderful caring loving nurses. God's lovingkindness is evident in the grace that He displays, and the strength He gives me to get through each day. It is evident in the love and care of my friends who are praying for mom, and ministering to me through various means. God's lovingkindness is evident in simple things, like the internet being available here in the hospital, a comfy chair to pass the night away and cable television that allows me not to be alone in the late hours of the night.

I have no way of knowing what tomorrow may bring by way of diagnosis or other news. I do know that no matter what the dawn brings us, God is still sovereign, He is still watching over us, He is still in control, He is still loving and keeping those who love Him and call Him their Father.

Bless His magnificent Name!

The Lord My Rock

“I love You, O LORD, my strength.” The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, And I am saved from my enemies. Psalm 18:1-3

I am stronger now than I have been at any point in my Christian life. For this strength I praise God for my strength is from Him.

In many ways these days of my life are very difficult. As I minister to my elderly and sick parents, prepare our last child for his launch into the adult world in the next few years, and serve others in ministry I frequently find I am weary of it all. I wonder, “How on earth do I have the stamina for all this?” This season of life also includes the change of life as I transition into middle age and turn that corner that brings the finish line closer into view.

I know beyond any doubt that had my life contained these current circumstances 5 years ago I would not have withstood the test of these days. I am learning to persevere.

And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:3-5

We typically use this passage to bring ourselves comfort as we endure various difficulties but that is not the context of the passage. These tribulations Paul speaks of here are persecutions for our faith. In other words, I can say that the trials I face today are preparing me for the persecutions that are to come. Does our enemy use the world system and its various players to needle and jab at us- sure! However, these are merely the precursor for future events.

God is gracious. He brings and allows small things (relatively speaking) to come our way and build our faith. I would never say that chronic illness or cancer or abuse are small things and yet in the grand scope of God’s plan they are not on par with what is to come for the Christian. They like their lesser fellow troubles are training grounds and proving grounds. They help you and me to know what stuff we are made of. They deepen our faith and trust in God for the hours to come.

We persevere, we press on, we move forward in spite of and in the midst of pain and misery. We live out the definition of the word as we continue working in the face of strong opposition and great obstacles. Were our lives easy and trouble free as we often wish for; there would be no strength and little substance to our faith!

The character of a Christian is proven under stress. I admit that as I am placed under more and more stress the sin in my life leaks out through the stress cracks in my character. This is sure not something I glory in, but I am thankful for it nonetheless. God uses these times to reveal my flaws and give me the opportunity to be changed in these days of relative ease. (I say that because no one is at this point in time demanding that I must renounce my faith, nor am I being threatened with arrest or death because of my faith) I would not want to learn my weaknesses when my character must be like cast iron under the pressure of persecution.

Think about the times you are tempted to just give up and chuck the whole Christian life because the pagan way appears so much easier…if you are honest with yourself, you know you have such times occasionally. The good news is that you have not bowed under that pressure to this point in your Christian life and you won’t if you are a true believer in Christ. God is keeping you, (Psalm 121:3, Jude 1:24) and your perseverance is by the grace of God as He is preparing you in little steps for the days of persecution.

As you succeed through each of these times of temptation hope is built within you. Not the world’s hope that disappoints, but hope that sees that God is truly faithful!

Lay Aside the Old Self

Dear Reading Friend, there is a solution to living in bondage to fear, worry and anxiety.

“…in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.” Ephesians 4:22-24

God’s desire is that you understand that as you put away from you (put off, throw aside, strip away) the desires of your old way of life (worry, anxiety) because the more you indulge that aspect of your flesh the stronger and stronger it becomes! The more the flesh is fed the hungrier and more demanding it gets.

An example I thought of is this: Animals don’t have souls, but they do have a will as is evident by their ability to listen or ignore you. We have 2 dogs and one of them (Skittles) was snuck table scraps by our eldest son while he was living at home. Skittles got used to having her way at her own personal mealtime because her desires were being fulfilled. It became habit for her to get the extra food and she was none too happy when we cut her off! She was used to being indulged and her desires were very strong! If we would let her at the table even to this day, she would eat everything in front of her! When she was no longer allowed to have scraps she revealed her desires and will to us by begging, whining, jumping around to be noticed and being a general nuisance.

While we are physically and spiritually vastly different from Skittles, our desires don’t lie down any better than hers do. When you deny the flesh it is going to rise up and remind you it is there! The temptation to return to worry and anxiety will be very strong and you may be very tempted to succumb to them. You may find yourself back in the worry/anxiety cycle without immediately realizing you have done it. In that case you must grab a hold of your thoughts- taking every thought captive (2 Cor. 10:5) and fight to keep the flesh at bay.

This living as an over comer cannot be corrected by what I call white knuckle flying. You cannot just determine to stop this behavior because it is a spiritual issue! Paul said in Eph. 6:10 that we are to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. He then outlines our defensive and offensive weapons for battles such as these. Please notice in this passage the parts of your body that this armor of God covers:

Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Your battle is primarily a spiritual one!

• Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. You will need do attack this God’s way, not yours!
• Stand firm therefore, the therefore refers back to taking up the armor of God and its ability to aid you in resistance.
• having girded your loins with truth, the enemy likes to hit below the belt and try to deceive you through your circumstances. Remember that truth is found in the Word of God
• and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, the breastplate covers your heart and reminds you that your righteousness that is only found in Christ.
• and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; remind yourself of your need for the gospel every day!
• in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. How much of these posts on fear, worry and anxiety have revolved around your faith in God?
• And take the helmet of salvation, to protect your thoughts and remind you of exactly who you are in Christ
• and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. God has the answers in His Word. You won’t find the answers in a prescription, psychotherapy, group therapy or any other humanistic attempt at a solution
• With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints prayer is a most powerful weapon and a means of communicating to God.

More on the power of prayer next time.

Metamorphoo- continued

Continued from yesterday….

Are you simply enslaved to your feelings? Are your thoughts consumed by fearful thoughts that lead to the feelings of panic and anxiety and worry? If so, you must begin to keep track of your thoughts by writing them down.

Journaling is laborious but it is an excellent way to uncover what you are thinking about. And remember, your thoughts, beliefs and desires are an indication of what is going on in your heart!

Perhaps a notebook that you carry with you would be helpful. On the inside cover write these questions:

• What am I thinking about right now?
• What do I believe to be true?
• What do I desire right now?
• Who or what am I trusting for this?
• Who or what is my faith in?

Notice there are no “why” questions, nor are there any questions about how you feel. You will want to disguise your thoughts, beliefs and desires as feelings because it is your habit, it is acceptable, and you have not thought about things you always describe as feelings not really being “feelings.”

In concert with journaling, I would urge you to pray as David did in so many of the Psalms. (Ps. 139:23, Ps. 26:2) as he asked God to search his heart and examine his mind and soul. A desire you must cultivate is the desire that God reveal to you the source of your fear and anxiety. He won’t reveal it in a dream or some mystical fashion however, He will use the Word of God that will cut you up inside and deeply convict you of sin.

Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. Romans 6:12-13

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2

You must begin to renew your mind, not simply stop worrying. You must be transformed, (which is the Greek word metamorphoo) from what you were (including your past thought patterns) to the new creation in Christ you have become. Most often this kind of change is represented by the caterpillar changing into the butterfly.

This kind of change comes only as the Holy Spirit changes your thinking (heart) through consistent study, meditation and application of the Word of God.

Fear of God?

You don’t need me to tell you that at this point in history we have more reasons than ever before to be fearful, anxious and to worry. Our economy is nearing collapse (if you listen to certain political parties), we are running out of oil and natural gas (if you listen to certain people) and then there is the ever present clamoring over the theory of global warming. That leaves out entirely the wars, cost of living and other natural disasters.

Last time I gave you some examples of OT saints who struggled with fear and worry. There are many more than I took the time to outline for you. We didn’t even touch on Moses (Ex. 3:11, Ex. 4:1, Ex. 4:10, 4:13), or King Saul (1 Samuel 15:21-22).

I cited Eve and her struggle with the serpent as an OT narrative of being afraid she was going to miss something by not eating of that tree in the center of the garden. Let’s pick up her story today after her and Adam both partook of that fruit. In Gen. 3:8-10 we see Adam displaying a new kind of fear.

They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” Genesis 3:8- 10

They became afraid when they knew good and evil. When their eyes were opened and they understood things they were not intended to understand. They became afraid of discovery, afraid of punishment, afraid of God.

Thankfully, a believer in Christ we have no reason to fear God in that way. Scripture has no references to their being any sort of punishment from God for a born again believer in Christ. What would God punish us for? Scripture teaches us that all our sin- past, present, future was paid for on the cross. Romans 8:1 tells us there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! When God looks at the blood bought saint, all He sees is Christ. If there was something for God to punish us for, then it would mean that Christ’s sacrifice and His redemption of our souls was incomplete.

There is no punishment for our sin coming from God dear reading friend. Do we experience consequences for our sin? Yes, of course we do and sometimes it feels like punishment but it is not. God will never punish His own children for that would make a mockery of the death of Christ and His full payment for our sin. Living in fear of a God who waits to punish is living in fear of an unbiblical God.

If you live in fear of a condemning, judgmental God something to ask yourself is if you have a real reason to be afraid. Any fear that continues beyond actual danger is an indication of a lack of faith. Is it possible you are laboring under a false salvation? Because, the greatest fear of an unbeliever should be death and judgment.

It is possible to have an understanding of your sinful condition and still be in stubborn rebellion before God. It is possible to have head knowledge of salvation, know the right words to say, what you are supposed to believe and still be unregenerate! Once you place your faith and trust in Christ that fear will dissipate.

What about participating in some known sin? It is a nervous person indeed who is willfully involved in sin and is unrepentant about it. When you are convicted it is wrong, the course of action is to stop it because you know sin does not glorify God. Then repent of the sin and be actively involved in the renewing of your mind. Memorizing Scripture and making application of what you memorize.

Are you simply enslaved to your feelings? Are your thoughts consumed by fearful thoughts that lead to the feelings of panic and anxiety and worry? If so, you must begin to keep track of your thoughts by writing them down.

Continued tomorrow.

Examples to Instruct Us

At the root of worry, anxiousness and unfounded fear we see the sin of doubt or as it is sometimes said, lack of faith.

Last time I finished up by teasing you a little with the OT heroes and our similarity to them regarding worrying. They dealt with fear, worry and anxiety too-and sometimes they handled it well and other times they blew it badly.

Scripture teaches that their examples ought to instruct us-either to respond biblically or in a negative sense, show us where they went wrong. (Romans 15:4; 1 Cor. 10:11)

Our sinful problems began with our sister, Eve. To move Eve to the point of defying God, the serpent messed with Eve’s thinking by planting the seeds of doubt. He said, “Did God really say…” and he implied that God was not really good and was withholding something good from her. She worried she was missing out! We all suffer the consequences today for her doubting. Her act of disobedience was connected to her lack of trust in God and her fear of being cheated out of something.

What about Abraham? His relationship with God was a bit different than ours-he had direct communication with God, imagine that! We see in Scripture that there were times Abraham showed incredible faith-leaving Ur, sacrificing Isaac, the rescue of Lot’s people and so on.

Yet, Abraham feared for his life before Pharaoh and asked his wife to lie about who she was so that she could be turned over to a harem! Once was bad, twice was worse! It boggles my mind that after God brought them through that situation unharmed, and the humiliation Abraham suffered as a result of his lack of faith he actually committed the same sin, and demonstrated the same lack of faith a second time. (Genesis 12) Again God rescued them and that is a great illustration of how all of us can be incredibly self-centered depending on the situation.

Have you ever taken a course such as this? Been so fearful and worried about how a situation would turn out that you lied in an attempt to orchestrate the results?

And how about Abraham’s lovely Sarah… (Gen. 16: 1-15) She certainly had fears of her own. Despite the promise (the promise!) that God gave to Abraham that he would be the father of many generations she could see as the years went by that God had closed her womb and she desperately wanted to give Abraham a son. She wanted to “help” God fulfill His promise! So, she took matters into her own hands and had her husband sleep with her maid to give her a child, and Hagar became a surrogate mother. We cannot determine if it was impatience as the main factor or if it was fear or worry that God would not follow through with his promise that drove her to make this tragic decision but the result was she doubted God’s Word.

I am not about to touch the whole issue of surrogate motherhood but I will ask you if you ever thought you needed to “help” God fulfill His promises? Many do just that as they attempt to add to the payment of Christ for their sins by living a good life, obeying the Ten Commandments and so on. God has promised us that Christ is enough, and paid more than enough to assure our ransom. That is but one example and I know you can think of many more!

And then there is Peter, who loved Jesus so deeply yet after his bold protestations of being willing to die for Christ he found a great fear of man when and in the end he denied Christ three times. (John 13:36-38)

Have you been in such a situation? Perhaps with your unsaved family at a gathering where someone begins to lambaste Christianity and mock God or the Bible? You know the right thing is to respond for Jesus and yet the fear of man is so great you stay silent and slink out of the room. That is a terrible feeling and I can only imagine Peter’s grief and sorrow at his display of cowardous.

The young protégé of Paul, Timothy also struggled with fear. Paul exhorted him by saying,
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7) He was afraid because he was young and the older men of the church would not respect him. He was also afraid due to the political climate he was ministering in.

So you see, you and I are in good company! This certainly does not excuse our worry or fear, in fact just the opposite. God has recorded these things for us to look back on and learn from that you and I might respond righteously.

More next time.

No One Can Serve Two Masters

“The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. “But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! Matthew 6:22-23 (NASB)

Do you see Jesus’ main point in this verse? He is saying that if our minds are wrongly focused it has an effect on our whole body. When we are focused on what our fears are and things to be anxious about our minds are focused in the wrong direction.

Worry expresses looking at life through competing eyes (vs 22-23) and reveals a divided heart, divided focus, and even divided loyalties.

If you really think about it, you will see that many of the things you worry about are revealing your idols.

“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth. Matthew 6:24 (NASB)

Money is the object lesson here, but the principle is transferable! We worship and serve that which we truly love. To be self-focused on one’s self and the pursuit of one’s idols is idolatry of the heart. Jesus is saying you cannot serve God and anything else.

So, why all this pounding on the heart and worry being idolatry? How does this help you? First, you have to begin to see what you are doing and thinking about and believing through God’s eyes. That is the perspective that counts! You and I can rationalize away our worry as emotionalism or a bad day, or a set of circumstances that would “cause anyone to worry” but it is not until we begin to see worry for what it is that we can gain an accurate perspective and find the cure!

According to a study of Matt. 6:25-34, worry is the fruit of remaining unbelief.

If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Matthew 6:30 (NIV)

When you worry, you are denying God’s power, sovereignty, wisdom and love for you in your situation. Here, Jesus rebukes the worrier for being one of little faith. He reminds us that God takes care of the grass, a relatively small thing, so how can you doubt he’ll take care of you?

“Oh, but you don’t know my situation!” you may be thinking. I don’t need to know, God knows your circumstances. Consider this: is God using these circumstances to reveal to you your lack of faith?

What is “faith” anyway? There are many definitions around, but I like the one my Pastor uses: Definition of Faith- It is the knowledge of God’s character, the belief that He’s able to do all that He’s promised, and the trust to follow Him wherever He leads.

God’s desire is that your faith would grow and that you would also grow in grace. Matt. 6:25-30; 2 Pet. 3:18

You and I are not alone in this, nor are we the first people who have struggled with worry. The Old Testament narratives are a great place to find the stories of the Saints and learn that ultimately, they were just like you and I. They dealt with fear, worry and anxiety-sometimes well and other times sinfully.

Scripture teaches that their examples ought to instruct us-either to respond biblically or in a negative sense, show us where they went wrong. (Romans 15:4; 1 Cor. 10:11) Next time we are going to look at a few of these OT folks, and see how we have more in common with them than we may think!

Worry- Watch Over Your Heart

"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

We finished last time with these thoughts; the line between doing and feeling is a thin one. We tend to act out by doing what we are feeling without much thought. But- if feeling is the first indicator that something is going wrong we must then check for a heart issue before we act out on the doing level.

In other words as one thing affects the other we can interrupt the process of not glorifying God by evaluating our own hearts. Why am I anxious? Where is God in all this? Is He not sovereign? If God is for me, then what or whom need I fear. This is what we mean by changing the heart. We evaluate what’s truly in it and the self-centered tendencies we tend to have.

Paul Tripp says, “The Bible uses “heart” to describe the inner person…the heart is the real you." Those of you that read daily know this is my mantra!

When our hearts are not focused on loving God, problems occur. (Matt. 15:18-19) This is because we are really practicing idolatry! When I am more focused on worrying and being anxious, am I also focusing on loving God? Can my mind be divided this way, or am I only fooling myself into thinking I can do both? I maintain it is another case of my heart lying to itself- I am self-deceived!

Because of the fact that scripturally speaking, the heart is often equated with the mind. (Heb. 4:12) I am acting from a divided mind when I think I am able to focus on God and worry at the same time. It is just not possible to do both. This is why James speaks of a double minded man being unstable in all he does. As we worry and try to focus on God and His glory we find that we are on a see-saw of sorts, vacillating between faith and doubt, worry and confidence in God’s sovereignty, anxiety and trusting God. It is an endless, painful moving as all the emotions that accompany this cycle slosh us around continually creating tension, body aches, pain and misery.

The way out is through the renewing of the mind and heart transformation. (Psa. 51:10)

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 (NASB)

Changing our minds, i.e. the way we think, the way we evaluate our circumstances changes the heart, as the heart changes the mind through the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit.

Remember- Worry is sin!

Our original definition of worry said that worry, anxiousness, unreasonable fear, is sin. While the sin is rooted in our hearts, it’s propelled outward by unbiblical thinking which leads to unbiblical actions.

• Worry shows a lack of faith in God (Matt. 6:25-34)
• Worry is forbidden by God (Matt. 6:34; Phil. 4:6-7)
• Worry destroys the body (physical complications) (1 Cor. 6:19)

God wants to progressively liberate us from worry. (Rom. 6:6-7, 14) I hope you take the time to look up these Scriptures and not just gloss over them! My words are not inspired and while they may be helpful to your emotions and you may receive knowledge and information from them; they are not comparable to the Words of God. Please take the time and lose yourself in the Word of God, do it right now!