Making It Work

Getting a movie to watch is kind of an event at our house. There is so little worth watching and even less I will stay awake for that we don't often rent one. However, this weekend we watched the movie "Fireproof." If you have not seen it, I suggest you do! I thought it was fairly realistic and at the end my husband and I both realized how good we have it!

Today is my wedding anniversary. I am blest beyond measure that My husband is able to be home with me for this event. Our marriage has been envied over the years by people whose unions are not so joyous. "How do you do it?" we are often asked. I thought I would share with you the secret to our success today.

Be transparent- A relationship that is shrouded in secrecy is not a relationship at all. We have no secrets, we tell each other every thing and I do mean every thing. We know each others massive screw ups of the past, thoughts, hopes, aspirations and idiosyncrasies. If one is sad or angry or fearful we tell the other.

Be honest- We dont lie to each other. Not even little lies. We don't omit the truth or tell parts of truth because that would destroy our trust. We love each other enough to say that something is wrong, ungodly, foolish or hurtful.

We are honest with our finances too. We don't spend money without the others knowledge, and when I mess up the bank account I tell him where I went wrong. My husband suggested I add to this post- we have a unified budget. We do not have his money and her money. What is his is mine and what is mine is his and it is all in the same bank account. We have seen the destruction caused by these separations in marriages.

We respect each other- There are ways of saying things that are true and hurtful and then there are ways of saying the same things that are true and kind. Respecting each other means that we think of how what we will say will be heard by the other.

We respect each others time, space and property. Everyone desires a little space or time alone occasionally and we give it willingly to each other.

We are forever nauseatingly romantic- We simply love to mush on each other. Our conversations are sprinkled with compliments, and "love you's." We have a secret code to tell each other we love one another while we are in public. We touch often, holding hands or putting arms around each other. We sit next to one another and touch all the time. We love to love on each other.

We love to please each other. We practice the one another's of Scripture daily, putting each others preferences and desires ahead of our own, considering one another out of reverence for Christ.

We do not allow worldly influences in our bedroom. It is our sanctuary from the world and our place of rest. Our marriage bed is undefiled by pornography and those types of things.

We are each others best friends. Our current living conditions make all aspects of our lives difficult, but this is the hardest. On a daily basis we are deprived of each others companionship and friendship. The little things of life that a married couple share are not ours right now and wont be until by God's grace someone buys our house so we can live together again.

We have fun together- actually, we make normal things of life fun when we can. If you were to follow us around you would see we act silly and say silly things to each other. We like to laugh and enjoy each others company. Our fun has not and does not come from spending money doing things, we just make normal things fun to do. We enjoy being together so much that shopping and driving around are a delight.

I kept this one for last, but by no means least- Jesus Christ is the center of our marriage. We desire to glorify Him through our marriage and so it makes all this stuff easy! It is not as much about us as it is about Him. While we fail and sin against each other from time to time there is always quick reconciliation. In fact, in all the years we have been together I can count on one hand the times we have had "a fight."

This is not because we are so great...(I am quick tempered and opinionated) is because of Christ. We believe He honors our desire to make Him the center of our marriage and our lives.

So thanks for the first couple of decades Lar...I am looking forward to all that is yet to come!