I read this in My Utmost For His Highest one day:
“Our Lord never insists on having authority over us. He never says, “You will submit to me.” No, He leaves us perfectly free to choose—so free, in fact, that we can spit in His face or we can put Him to death, as others have done; and yet He will never say a word. But once His life has been created in me through His redemption, I instantly recognize His right to absolute authority over me. It is a complete and effective domination, in which I acknowledge that “You are worthy, O Lord …” (Revelation 4:11). It is simply the unworthiness within me that refuses to bow down or to submit to one who is worthy.
Is the mind of my spirit in perfect agreement with the life of the Son of God in me, or am I mentally rebellious and defiant? Am I allowing the mind of Christ to be formed in me? (see Philippians 2:5). Christ never spoke of His right to Himself, but always maintained an inner vigilance to submit His spirit continually to His Father. I also have the responsibility to keep my spirit in agreement with His Spirit. This speaks to the desire of the heart before it comes to taking action. My heart must be willing and desiring God’s glory above my own selfish wants first. When my heart is set on Him, the actions follow.”
This was the heart of Jesus! He told the disciples that He was not here to do His own will, but that of His Father. Likewise are we. Our will is to be conformed to His will. Women are to learn to graciously and lovingly surrender their will to Jesus.
We have to teach women that submission is attitude long before it is action. Submission is not an outward meek obedience with a hateful and rebellious heart on the inside. That is not submission, it is hypocrisy!
Sadly I see the latter quite often. Christian women are told to submit and many of them hate it. They hate having the man rule over them, they hate being at his beck and call. They hate that it puts them in a subservient position in church and in life.
I have encountered very many women, pastors wives, deacon’s wives, women who have been raised in the church, who have heard submission preached and taught all their lives. They go through the action, but they hate it, and they hate their husbands for it. They forget that who they are arguing with is God.
Most often women tell me that they don’t trust their husband! They are afraid to submit to his decisions and leadership. They fear their husband will hold submission over them as a weapon and use it as a reason to mistreat them. It doesn’t help that some men do. Some men equate submission to slavery. They misuse the text and abuse their wives with it. Women who don’t trust the leadership of their husband are ultimately not trusting God. They are forgetting that He is sovereign over the earth and their husband and circumstances. Nothing will happen that is outside of God’s ability to deal with, and nothing that happens will be a surprise to God. When you trust your husband, you are trusting that God is leading your husband.
Other women say they don’t trust their husband’s parenting style. He is too heavy handed in their opinion. The husband does things differently than they do- and the wife thinks she can do it better- so they decide to take parenting matters into their own hands. The wife develops a critical spirit toward her husband in this circumstance and begins to actively undermine his authority. When this happens it only complicates matters to the extreme. When a wife rejects her husbands parenting style she is rejecting the authority God has placed over her and over the kids. This is sending a terrible message to the children and devaluing him in their eyes, removing the reason for the kids to honor and respect him and elevating mom as the only authority that matters! We will talk about this issue in our parenting track in January.
The desire to submit to your husband is a result of your desire to submit to God. Think about that…
Labels: Marriage, Submission