I have recently returned to work in my former career in the medical profession. The move to KC, MO required that I do this because our home in WI has not sold yet. This was a very difficult decision for me, because it was another major life change.
So much has happened this past 12 months....My Mom's illness, Larry moving here without us and living with our son and daughter-in-law in November, the holidays, trying to sell the house, WINTER (ugh) without Lar, the saddest New Years Eve I ever had, and only 13 days later- my wonderful Mom passed into glory. All the waiting and packing and hoping and praying that the house would sell that came to nothing...
All this led to my applying for jobs here and accepting a position in the medical profession I left over 10 years ago. 3 weeks ago we pulled the truck carrying nearly all our earthly belongings out of the drive and headed here to our new home in a new State.
When I last practiced my craft I was really very good at it! Oh..but that was an entire decade ago, another lifetime really! I have spent these years doing, and teaching, and writing about biblical counseling and discipleship - not in the medical field! So that leads us to today's blog entry.
I know my being here and having the job is of God. I truly believe He has orchestrated this entire chapter of my life, and intends to use it and me in the lives of others here. There is some great consolation in knowing that, because I never ever thought I would be doing this kind of work again! My plan was counseling and discipleship until I was as old and gray as my patients are, but God had other things in mind for me, that much is clear.
Each day, I pray the entire way to work. Most days I have to drive quite a ways to get there so it is the perfect opportunity for me to spend time with Him. I have developed a great dependence on Him because of these circumstances. I pray He will help me to remember how to do job related things, I pray He will help me to serve the king (my employer) and above all, I pray He will help me to glorify Him.
I confess, my original goal was to only work until the house was sold. I believe God has other ideas for me, and as much as my flesh desires to have my own way I must practice and live what I teach and I must submit my own will to His. I have determined to stay until He releases me, even if that is never. What this means for my ministry aspirations I do not know. I understand it could mean that I never again have a life that is ministry only. The sorrow that brings my heart is beyond words right now, but I want you to see that while what I want to do with my life is good and honorable and righteous it won't mean a thing if having my own way is not in line with what God wants me to do.
I don't claim to have a divining rod or hear God speak into my ear, but I am wise enough to see that this is another season of growth for me in an entirely new direction. I am to bloom where He planted me, and make the most of every opportunity He brings me. I am to submit my will to His even if I don't like it! Please don't get the idea this is easy...or that I am tip-toeing through the tulips , because this is hard. I think all the time about Paul and all that was asked of him as he followed Christ and I realize I still have a very soft life. As of today, no one wants to put me in prison or kill me. I have a home and a soft bed and plenty of food and water.
Paul achieved contentment by not focusing on the situation but by focusing on how the situation was conforming him to the likeness of Christ! That is how he came to say in Phil. 4:11
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Labels: Contentment, Submission