I was married for 8 years when my first husband left me for another woman. Our divorce was initiated by him and I merely responded to the action. I was willing to reconcile, even though our marriage had been difficult to say the least.
The day of our divorce was rather surreal, and when it was over I even shed a few tears. What God had joined together, man had put asunder. Our Covenant was broken, and I felt every bit torn in two. Despite all the circumstances I felt like a failure, and wondered if there was anything I could have done to mend it. In my heart, I knew that answer was "no."
I was a young Christian woman who had about 65% of her life left! I had been a wife and mom for about 5 years, I had no secondary education, no plans for a career, and a very part time job that I took at because of my then-husbands demand. I just remember thinking, "Now what?"
I certainly had no plans to ever remarry and I had my children to think of. I determined not to be a woman who had an endless parade of men running through my children's lives. I did not know how I would afford to go to school for a career that would pay enough to support us, or who would care for my kids when I was at work or school. I did not believe in day care. I did not have children to let someone else raise them! That was my job.
If you are newly divorced, you may be facing many of the same thoughts, feelings, beliefs and fears that I did. I hope to encourage you by telling you that you don't have to figure it all out now, or tomorrow or next week or even next month. Divorce is a horrible, tearing, wounding thing. It is the tearing apart of something that was so tightly weaved together that as it tears threads and fuzz fly everywhere, and the fabric is torn crooked and has jagged edges. Your heart may feel that way too... Is it any wonder that God hates divorce?