It seems that topic seekers run in streaks...Because I want to know what you want to read about I track the topics that you google when you find my blog. Rest assured, I don't know who you are just what you are seeking wisdom and biblical information on. Divorce is one of those topics that I get lots of requests on.
For the record, I have been divorced. I did not seek the divorce nor did I want it but nonetheless it happened. The period of my separation and divorce was difficult and tumultuous. While our marriage was rarely "good" I believed it was to be forever and that we were to do what was needed to make it work. D-I-V-O-R-C-E was not in my vocabulary. I was what you would call a "respondent" in the action, which means that I only responded to legal actions that were taken against me, initiating nothing.
The question everyone wants to know is, "What makes it OK for me to get a divorce?" In counseling I am presented with any number of issues that bring a couple to the place where things are so bad in a marriage that one or both decide to call it quits on marriage. Each scenario has its own set of qualifiers and circumstances.
Some of the most common reasons I see Christians seek a divorce are:
But one thing they have in common is that at least one of the people involved are broken, crushed, despairing, wounded, angry, miserable, and frightened.
- "Fall out of love"
- Outgrow their spouse
- Drug/alcohol abuse
- Lack of compatibility/interest
Is divorce ever OK? This has been debated all of my Christian life and beyond and no one scholar agrees with all the rest. Two of my favorite pastor/teachers disagree on this topic. One would have me be an adulteress for remarriage and the other would bless my union. What is really important is, what does the Bible say about divorce?
It is important to understand that when looking in Scripture regarding this topic that most of us arrive with preconceived notions about the text we examine. Sometimes Scripture is used to support whatever position we hold, others want to add to or take away from the text to justify their own ideas and thoughts on the subject. Other times the Word is twisted grossly out of context to suit personal desires.
"Love" or the lack of it is perverted and used as rational and justified by the misuse of the Word of God. John MacArthur says, "When God’s Word is ignored or perverted in any area, tragedy is always the consequence."
We shall do some investigating over the next few days on this critical topic of divorce among Christians.