This is going to be a new feature on the blog- the "This Adventure- Life!" postings. When you see that heading you will know that the posting will be one of a personal musing on my part. I believe in being "real" and sharing my own issues in the growing and changing process.
Many of you who read faithfully remember the trials of the last year as I struggled with my Mom's illness and subsequent death, Larry moving to our new home State without us for 6 months, and all the trials and drama that went into the past year of my life.
It seems that my new life here does not afford me much time to really sit with my thoughts and think on them, something I really hope changes with the new year and the ministry plans we have on the drawing board.
I have an off-day today and I have been allowed to experience life today, beginning with my husband's flat tire in the driveway. He had to put a bald and frankly dangerous spare tire on to get to work, an hour away. By God's grace he got there. That slice of life was followed by issues with our still unsold house in Wisconsin, a little legal matter... all before 9:00 AM.
Life is such an adventure! Sometimes it is a sad one and a stressful one. The road of life is hard and full of distractions and deep pits to fall in. I find that sometimes the problems life brings me whisk me away to places of great distraction that take me away from the main thing.
I often wish for a life of ease- freedom from all these stupid issues that can successfully tear my focus away from Him. In those times I wish I could be more spiritual, more of the mind that is able to set all this junk aside and just not care. I think of the missionaries I know who are able to achieve this. They know they will have a hard life on the mission field and they don't care! They willingly walk forward knowing they won't have a life of ease and will in fact have a life of hardship, and they relish it! They are able to rise above the storminess and set all the distractions of the world aside to focus on Christ and serving Him.
I fail at this- routinely.
There are times I am able to just live in and experience the grace that is available in Christ and not care about worldly concerns. I want not to care, but most times I fail because I can't figure out how not to care! Call me ultra responsible but I do bear responsibility for things in life and I struggle with putting those things in the back seat. I know it can be done because I read about it having been done from great men like Oswald Chambers.
I want to know how it is done! I want to know what to think, believe, and desire in my heart that I don't already. How can I immerse myself totally in Christ and live beyond the daily grind that seeks to take me away? It goes beyond turning off the television and throwing away the newspaper...it is the dealing with things like flat tires, and houses that won't sell, and how to pay for college and how to get Jake a car.
Scripture tells me that God won't give me more than I can handle (1 Cor 10:13) and I believe that. There is a difference in handling it immersed in His grace and handling it otherwise. My heart cries out not to care about stuff, not to be swallowed up by distractions and by the things of the world, I just can't figure out how to make it real without being irresponsible.
I have no answers today...only more questions.