Communication is one of the main reasons people wind up in counseling. Few people understand how to communicate, and even fewer understand how to communicate biblically. We want to help change that through education and training.
We have to realize that as the Proverbs say, in our tongues we hold the power to build others up or to destroy them emotionally, socially, and professionally. Unfortunately, we often choose to tear down rather than build up. Some say it is because we lack "self-esteem" but the Bible says we do so because we a sinners. It does make some people feel better about themselves to injure others with their tongue. There are times we just talk too much and nothing good ever comes of that!
We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. James 3:2 (NIV)
Speech impacts many aspects of our lives because once a word is spoken it can never be retracted. You cannot grab it and pull it back in and pretend it ever happened. Many of those words bring heartache and pain into your relationships and even an apology does not erase their damage. This is why James warns us so clearly about controlling our tongues!
And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself. James 3:6 (NLT)
Sin would be the overarching reason that we communicate in these ways and I maintain that selfishness is the specific reason. The "It's all about me" attitude that is so pervasive today. How did this get so messed up? It didn’t begin that way! When God specifically told Adam he could not eat from the tree in the center of the garden and he did anyway, it opened up the understanding of good and evil (Gen 3) and the perfect communication between them was severed. Adam and Eve became aware of good and evil after eating the fruit of the tree therefore they were afraid and hid. They desired to break communication with God out of fear of discovery.
There is no one that is exempt from the results of the fall. Romans 3:10 reminds us that there is not one of us that is righteous. The sin of Adam has taken mankind, who was created to have a moral capacity and a spiritual resemblance to God, and brought us to a place of complete depravity. The Bible says things like we are lost, blind, without hope, completely depraved, walk in darkness, sons of disobedience, unrighteous, unprofitable, under the wrath of God, and uses other descriptive words to describe our state. From these descriptions it is suddenly easy to see why we have trouble communicating righteously with each other.