Wednesday, August 11, 2010

How to Live Single in a Married Church

This is the last post on this important subject of biblical singleness. If you have been reading all week, you know that my fellow counselor Lorri Wenderski spoke on this topic at the IABC Conference in Denver, Colorado this past week. Her talk was thought provoking and contained some very good information for singles in our churches. I want to end this mini-series with some ideas about how to live biblical singleness in a married church.

Lorri made this important statement: "Singleness is not a problem, and the solution is not marriage."  Being single is an important gift given by God to those He chooses to bless in that way. If you are single today, and you don't view being single as a gift, you need to do a heart check. I would submit you are dealing with a stubborn and rebellious heart towards the will of God. 

If you are single, it is obviously the will of God that you are single. How do I know this? Because, right now you are single. You are exactly where God wants you to be. Some day in the future that may change as God continues to reveal His plan for your life but for the moment you must consider that you may be called to a life of singleness.

Because the goal of all Christians is to live our lives to glorify God, single persons need to devote themselves to pursuing godliness and developing the qualifications of godly men and woman as found in Titus 2, and Proverbs 31.  Accountability is an important piece of the equation because it is a part of our growing together in Christ as the Church. Surround yourself with godly women who are content in their singleness and learn from them, ask them to help you to mature into the calling God has placed on your life.  Give them permission to speak into your life and share your spiritual disciplines and struggles with them.

 Refuse to believe that the grass is greener on the other side of the aisle. Rejoice in the freedom to serve you have as a single woman. Make the most of every opportunity to serve the Lord and the Church. Include serving the unsaved by living an evangelistic lifestyle. I do not by any means intend for your to "missionary date" unregenerated men!

I also think you should include mature married women in your sphere of influence so you see biblical marriage modeled for you as well. Learn biblical submission, conflict resolution, and other skills you may need in the event God does bring someone into your life as a marriage partner.

There is no way I can comprehensively cover such a large topic in the context of this blog. My goal was to give you some things to think about and to suggest that you do some further reading on the subject. Nancy Leigh DeMoss has written several excellent works on this topic. Check them out, and determine to be content in the place God has you, rejoicing and serving Him.

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