What are some of the ways you communicate with people? Think about your last argument or disagreement with someone. Was it verbal? Did it contain name calling or even cursing? Were there hurtful words flying around? Was there screaming, ranting, raving, or threats? Was the phrase “I hate you” used? How about wishing them dead or in hell?
Was it non-verbal? Turning on the big freeze, refusing to talk at all, but thinking everything you really wanted to say. Door slamming, pot banging, foot stamping…? These are all non-verbal methods of communication.
We communicate with all parts of our bodies. The sayings, “If looks could kill I’d be dead,” he was “shooting daggers out of his eyes,” indicate that eyes are powerful non-verbal communicators. All of these are effective in saying what we want to say. Sometimes, the nonverbal says much more than words ever could. Our verbal and non verbal means of communicating are revealing things about us to others all the time.
People can tell if we are happy or sad, if we are in physical pain and even in emotional pain. What most do not understand, is that our communication is revealing something greater than what we might expect. Eye rolling indicates the “oh brother” thoughts going on in the mind, downcast eyes reveal shame and fear. Overall our faces are great communicators. Frowns, wrinkled foreheads, pressed and pinched lips tell you things about me and what is going on in my thoughts and heart.
How we dress also can communicate a message. When a guy shows up for a date in dirty jeans and tee-shirt it can be an indication of how much value he places on his date. Young ladies who dress in a provocative manner are sending clear non-verbal messages to everyone who looks at them as well.
How you sit or stand or carry yourself is also a revelation of what is going on in your heart. Slumped shoulders, hands stuffed in pockets, shuffling down the street can be an indication that a person is burdened, despondent or sorrowful.
So what does God’s Word say about these types of communication? All these forms of communication come from somewhere. They have become patterns and habits of living that come from the internal, invisible part of each of us that the Bible refers to as the heart of a man. If you have followed this blog for any length of time you will remember that we teach that one of the things revealed in communication is what is going on in the heart of a person. Luke 6:45 says that the words you speak are evidence of what is within your heart.
Matt 15:18-19 says that the evil words we speak come from an evil heart, and if you read the passage you will see that Jesus goes on to define some of those for us.
Many people are shocked to realize that the foul stuff that comes out of their mouths is a reflection of what is going on inside of them. That is not surprising to me because unless a person is brought up with a biblical view of themselves, they are trained to believe lies about themselves. This is why many people struggle coming to Christ- they believe they are essentially good people. Even Christians have a wrong view of their heart, and reading verses like these and letting them sink in and coincide with their memory of the last fight they had with their kid or spouse makes a huge impact on them.