God is interesting. The way He deals with me is always beyond my understanding, and I am grateful for that. He allows me to try to find every way possible out of a jam or situation and He just seemingly sits back, arms folded across His chest (I imagine a big smile on His face) and waits for me to be done exhausting my options... and myself. He already knows the answer, had the solution from eternity past.
I continue to pray, "Tell me what to do..." and as I pray I try to figure it out myself.
When I am out of options I must rely on nothing other than Him. I have nothing but prayer, and faith, and His faithfulness to me. What a wonderful place to be! I can trust Him because I know He has a plan, He is aware, and He is fully in charge of whatever the thing of the moment or day is. He reminds me that HE knows the end from the beginning and that no matter how it looks to me, He sees infinitely more than I do.
I can see how God is faithful to keep me close to Him, and to keep my focus on Him. I so desire to bring Him honor and glory through my trials! I so desire to be all about Him, and I can see how easy it is to lose sight of that goal. But yet, as an observer of my own life, I can still see Christ. I can see Him working and moving and changing me. I am thankful.
I know my trials are not done, I have not yet made the finish line. I want to have completed the course by the time I am done in this life. I want God's objectives to be completed in me.
My hands are still open, and I am still holding on loosely. I want it to stay that way. I have had pretty much unwavering confidence in God's ability to do something with these worldly messes, and He has been faithful. There are more hurdles lying ahead yet, more trials and difficulties. God has a plan for them too, I am confident! He is VICTORIOUS!
He always wants me to remember that I need Him, that I am nothing without Him, and even though I may plan and strategize the "best" way ~ultimately my life is His- hidden in Christ and He will do with me what He wills... and that He will always bring glory to Himself.