It's All In How You Look At It

This is another in the series of crazy events that is my life. I was to leave this morning bright and early, just about the time this blog went on line. Heading to Chicago for my niece's wedding, which we have been looking forward to for months.

To be sure we were safe, we decided to get the other set of new tires on the car at the local World's Largest Retailer. I dropped it off last evening and headed to church for a few appointments and went back around 8:45 to pick it up. 

After a few other purchases I got out to the car about 9 PM and as I got in I saw this curious piece of something sitting on the seat of the car. When I started the car, all the dashboard lights went on signaling that I have 4 flat tires. Do you remember The Robot from Lost In Space? "Warning!!" "Warning!!" Yes, it was like that...

Even though I made a mad dash around the lot and into the store all the devoted car people had beat it out of Dodge before I could catch them. They nicely left me a note on my bill, telling me they broke some vital sensor and that I should pick one up tomorrow and bring my car and the replacement sensor back to them and they would put it in. (nice, huh?) 

The very kind Manager did all in his power to help me, but being as it was after 9PM there was no place to get the sensor last night. This eliminated our departure plans and means we will miss the rehearsal and possibly the dinner.

I was not pleased.

However, even in my displeasure God continued to remind me that He is sovereign over this change in my plans. I have no way of knowing what awaited me at 5AM this morning had I left on my timetable. I must conclude that it is important to God that we not leave until later, because it is clear that we are being held back by Providence.

I could say this is "bad luck" or coincidence something, but I don't believe in luck. I could also view this from the perspective of how inconvenient this is going to be and what a disappointment it is to have to miss tonight's festivities. This is not "bad luck" or "karma" or a coincidence- it is a display of the power of the hand of a sovereign God who is in control of every aspect of our lives.

Yes, it is a bummer that this happened because I didn't want to miss anything tonight, but I am trusting that God is in charge of these events. He is omniscient and knows all the details of the days to come. How I choose to look at this will determine if I glorify Him or not in this little trial. 

Next time you are faced with one of these detours on your road of life, ask yourself what God could be doing with it. Are you being protected from some mishap? Brought an opportunity to minister to someone? Tested, tried, refined?  It's all in how you look at it!

The Making of a Saint

What makes us who we are as Christians? I listen to many women lament that they are not the Christian wives and mothers that they think they ought to be. So these women decide that more Bible reading, more devotions, more small groups, or more prayer will make them into someone who will be Christian. 

When we "do" we leave God out of the process. Our attempts at being Christians are vain attempts of performance orientation. At our deepest heart level we do not trust God to complete what He started and what He promises to complete.

We cannot make ourselves godly, that is God's domain. He is the ruler of hearts and the one who changes hearts. As He begins to chisel away at the hard rock that surrounds the core of who we are the pain begins. I recall that phase of my new life in Christ with great clarity! I began to see small glimpses of my sinful self and I didn't like it at all.  The Holy Spirit was a new Presence in my life and was constantly and consistently convicting me of wrong thoughts, wrong attitudes, wrong words and wrong living. A dislike for how I lived began to percolate within me and a general sense of discomfort ruined the easy way I was going through my days.

I began to see myself reflected in other people. I saw and heard myself in others and was suddenly quite horrified at what I was. This was an important turning point, as God showed me what human nature is like when separated from Him. This was something I had been completely blinded to before my regeneration.

"For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh..." Romans 7:18a

In the lives of those I had surrounded myself with, I could see who I was apart from God. In their eyes I could see my previous life of death and hopelessness. I did not think myself superior to them, I was broken and crushed as I began to only slightly understand the shallowest depths of my depravity. I was indeed a chief of sinners.

Seeing yourself in such a light will bring clarity to your mind in a hurry! I had no reason to boast, I was a murderer a billion times over but for the grace of God shown to me in Christ Jesus. There was no room for haughty pride in comparing myself to others, I was nothing...nothing...nothing apart from Christ and his redeeming love.

He graciously opened my tomb and allowed me to experience the stench that had been my life. In so doing, He showed me that there is hope for the worst of the worst of sinners. I cannot look upon another struggling or suffering soul the same way to this day. I accept the challenges God brings to my counseling room because they are often times just as I once was. They are beginning to experience the chisel of God rapping on the cement that has encased their hearts. They need help, someone to point them in the right direction. They need healing, so many are so badly hurt and crushed. They most of all need hope. They need to hear that someone just like them who had a heart of stone has been transformed and conformed into something nearer to the image of Christ.

I am clear I have certainly not "arrived," none of us have! I share my heart and God's active working in my heart with anyone who will listen. Does this make me vulnerable? Yes, of course it does. I admit to having suffered the slings and arrows of those who cannot handle or do not understand transparency. That is OK, for I would rather be His fool than a wise man in any human court.

Eternal Weight of Glory

"We are hard-pressed on every side..." 2 Corinthians 4:8

I got some bad news since I last wrote. I have been preaching to myself since getting this news. I suspect that I am not the only bad news recipient.

I can think of several people right away who are enduring some very significant hardships with health, loss, job issues, children difficulties, and financial reversals. My goodness, listening to others talk about their troubles it does seem as though we are hard pressed on every side! Life is very hard here, and it is so easy to become discouraged and think it is all hopeless, and that things are never going to get any better.

The message I have delivered to myself over and over is that I want to glorify God by how I handle this. I want to represent Him well and give others- you- hope that while the immediate circumstances may really stink our God knows the end of the story and He promises to bring good out of whatever we are facing.

What does this mean in practical terms? It means that I must always keep in the forefront of my mind that God is completely sovereign over my circumstances. He has ordained the trial I am in the midst of, He has allowed it to overtake me. He could either prevent it from happening or remove it effortlessly if He so chose. 

The fact that He has not chosen to do so is important and meaningful. God does not allow things for "no reason." All His actions are intentional and deliberate. He intends to accomplish something through this even if I cannot see what it is right now.

It also means that God is completely in control of this situation. Its onset, duration, and intensity are all well in hand despite my lack of understanding; despite my not knowing "why" this happened. It must not be needful for me to know the "why" of it, or I would know, for God would make it clear to me.  I also don't need to know the end of the story yet. The fact that He knows is enough for I can fully trust Him and His wisdom.

Because God restrains evil for His own ends I can trust that nothing will afflict me that is beyond my ability to bear up under it (1 Cor 10:13). While I may be hard-pressed, I am not and will not be crushed. I may be perplexed but I will not despair. While I may feel persecuted I will never be forsaken by God. While I may get knocked down I will not be destroyed (2 Cor. 4:8-9).

What I possess in material goods is not my reward, it is not my crown. These things are nice to have, bring me comfort and happiness as I currently understand these two feelings to be, but they are nothing in comparison to what awaits me when I see Him as He is. The stuff is only on loan to me by God to add to my comfort, and enrich my human life. Money is earned by the skills He has given, and it is to be used at His discretion for His purposes. I am the vessel of His choice in these matters as are you.

Having this outlook on my bad news simply has to change how I view it and how I respond to it. When Paul says, "Therefore, we do not lose heart." (2 Cor. 4:16) it should give us great pause and we must consider for ourselves the reason you and I must not lose heart in our own difficulties and even in our misery.

I know, I know this is all temporary. This is a blip on the radar of my eternity and in the light of who I am in Christ it is essentially meaningless. You won't remember what my trial is, but you will remember how I react and respond to it. You may look at my response and determine you will follow in my footsteps and repeat as I am, "Therefore, we do not lose heart." These are light and momentary afflictions but they are gaining for me and for you the eternal weight of glory (2 Cor. 4:17) 

Observing Grief

I have been thinking quite a bit about death recently. Not to be morbid or gloomy but life is touched by the reality of death every day. Every one of us is going to die one day. We will leave this earth and our loved ones behind us and go on to our eternal state.

Since my Mom passed on a year and a half ago, I have been more preoccupied with thoughts of losing people we love and how that affects us. Not only the end result, but the process of dying and all that it entails.

Death is such a ripping and cruel act. It feels so personal...the devastation brought by it's visitation to our homes is really unparalleled.  We cannot hold it off, we cannot keep it out. There is no amount of blood over the lintel that will ward it off as it was on the Passover. When death comes, it comes - ready or not.

When a loved one is suffering, we attempt to greet it as a friend or welcome reprieve for them from the misery and pain that characterizes their lives. Even though we know that our pain will begin when their ends.

If death visits unexpectedly, such as a car wreck in the wee hours of the night or a heart attack, it attacks so swiftly that before we can recognize it for what it is it has left taking our loved one along. We remain behind stunned, slack jawed, in shock that a life so alive and vibrant could be snuffed out in such a brief twinkle of time.

In either case, our void is vast and immediate. We find ourselves speaking of our departed loved one in the present to past tense, beginning by saying things such as, "Mother loves...loved roses." Our minds must be bent around the reality that he or she is not on vacation and has not run away from home.  They are gone from this life- permanently.

We memorialize them in slide shows and songs, we choose to focus on every strength and positive quality they possessed. Their less than honorable qualities become stories we find a way to weave into the lore that becomes their legacy.

Once death happens, life happens again too. Life happens for the deceased, who goes on to live in one of two manners: eternal bliss with God in Christ, or eternal torment being separated from God for eternity. Life happens for those left behind too. Life resumes at some sort of "normal" pace eventually.

C.S. Lewis chronicled grappling with the loss of his beloved wife Joy (H.) in his book, A Grief Observed. I find his honesty and starkness refreshing in a world where so many Christians want to sanitize their grief in platitudes.

He writes, "It is hard to have patience with people who say, 'There is no death' or 'Death doesn't matter.' There is death. And whatever is matters. And whatever happens has consequences, and it and they are irrevocable and irreversible. You might as well say that birth doesn't matter. I look up at the night sky. Is anything more cetain than that in all those vast times and spaces, if I were allowed to search them, I should nowhere find her face, her voice, her touch? She died, she is dead. Is the word so difficult to learn?

I have no photograph of her that's any good. I cannot even see her face distinctly in my imagination, Yest the odd face of some stranger seen in a crown this morning may come before me in vivid perfection the moment I close my eyes tonight. No doubt, the explanation is simple enough. We have seen the faces of those we know best so variously, from so many angles, in so many lights, with so many expressions- waking, sleeping, laughing crying, eating, talking, thinking- that all the impressions crowd into our memory together an cancel out into a mere blur. But her voice is still vivid. The remembered voice- that can turn me at any moment into a whimpering child." 

It is alright to grieve hard, to mourn the complete and total loss of one who has meant so much to you in your life. It is not un-Christian, it is not selfish, it is not sinful. Grieve them as though you loved them.

Functional Atheism

What worries you today? Are your cares and concerns overtaking you? There is nothing like worry and anxiety to sap your strength and keep you awake at night.  When it goes on for an extended period of time you will suffer physically with stomach and head aches.

What a worrier needs more than anything is hope. Hope that things will change, hope that situations will improve.  The only place we can find true hope in the midst of the many things that worry us is in Christ.  Our gracious God holds out hope and help to those who struggle with worry.

The Lord has answers to the situations in our lives that cause us to worry and He wants to free us from this way of life through the power of the Spirit.

For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace. Romans 6:14 (NASB)

The Word of God tells us that no sin shall master us or have dominion over us and make no mistake, worry is sinful.  Our mistake is in thinking that theology is only true when it fits in our positive circumstances. Theology is true despite our circumstances and in the midst of them. Romans 8:28,29 is always true, despite how a person feels. This is why our theology must be sound and we must be convinced in the heart that it is true.

We know that for those who love God, all things work for good. He causes the things in our lives to work out for our good and His glory. Because He is a sovereign God and His sovereignty is absolute, He ordains and orchestrates every event in our lives and they all accomplish what He determines for us now and in eternity.

For example: We read about the Israelites and their chronic complaining in the OT. The texts refer to them numerous times as stubborn and stiff-necked, and we also have many records of their fear, worries, and anxieties. Especially as they were escaping from Egypt! How soon they forgot that it was God who got them out of Egypt, and took them every step of the way (Deut.8:15-16).

Even while they were walking from Egypt and being chased by Egypt God was demonstrating His ability to care for them and protect them. Even when things appeared completely out of control, God had everything well in hand! What did they have to fear? What were they worried about? They were given every single thing they needed, and God never failed them.

They worried because they doubted God's goodness and His provision for them. They had little faith that what was there today would be there tomorrow. They did not believe God was faithful to Himself and that He does what He says He will do. We struggle with the same issues OT Israel did ladies...this is a true heart problem! 

Another reason we worry is because we don't want adversity to enter our lives. We are always glad to accept good from God, but we pray and pray against adversity coming our way. Scripture considers those who would reject God or His revealed will (even in adversity) foolish or unwise. They are not wise because they are proclaiming that they doubt God's power and His goodness. They also are declaring that God has erred by sovereignly allowing uncomfortable circumstances into their lives. 

A worrier lives as though there is no God, they are functional atheists. Don't live this way any longer, repent of the son of worry and return to trusting God, even when life is difficult.

Opening Pandora's Box

The viewing of pornography and sexually explicit material is a very disturbing trend I am observing among Christian women. It is a Pandora’s Box and once the lid is opened it becomes very hard to stuff the contents back inside. The brain is a wonderful organ, designed to recall sounds, smells and images with crystal clarity. What women are discovering, is that once pornographic or sexual images are viewed they are not easily forgotten. These images appeal to the deceitful lusts of the sinful heart.

It is not only married women, but college students and other single women who are struggling deeply with the sins of viewing pornography and self-gratification. Our societal climate has changed enough that folks almost understand when men begin to speak of their need for help with porn and masturbation, but for women it is uncharted territory, full of fear and shame.

There is tremendous fear of being discovered, of someone knowing what goes on when they are alone. The guilt is nearly overwhelming because as much as they know it is sinful, their desires have been awakened and they want to experience the sensations that come with these behaviors. It has a high rate of repeat offence and has driven several young women to the point of contemplating suicide.

All sin hates discovery but it seems that this sin even more so…this particular sin loves the darkness. One woman said this: 

“I was really "treasuring" the darkness that I was in. When I would watch the movies, my house would be completely dark; just me and the tube…”

As with all sin, it takes you much further than you ever want to go. What begins as a curiosity can rapidly become an obsession leading to greater and greater debauchery. Quoting a woman who revealed her struggles, 

“I was watching such utter junk and desiring that I could experience sex, just once before I die. Most of what's out there to see, either on the web or in the movies I would watch, was ALWAYS hooked up with roughness, rawness, etc., and almost never a display of the loving union between the two who were engaged.”

The things portrayed in these movies and video clips are the exact opposite of what God intends for the intimate relationship between a wife and her husband. God’s desire is that women overcome this sinful habit as she would overcome any other sin. You are told to “put off”, “throw off” your former conduct. This implies stripping off, or flinging it far away for you as though it were a rotting corpse tied to your back. It is not adequate to just change behavior, because what drives the behavior is still the same. Her mind must be retrained to operate biblically so that when she is presented with the same old temptations she thinks a new response.

Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. Eph. 4:23 (NLT)

You cannot assume that only new thinking will lead to walking worthy/new living in the place of any sin. You must also deal with what is standing in your way of belief and action. Genuine change is more than stopping wrong behavior. There must be repentance that includes an understanding that the actions are not glorifying to God. There must be a change in the manner of life that you live. Genuine repentance is accompanied by a desire to obey.

By God’s grace, I have helped enough women to overcome this sin to know it is possible. There is no reason for any woman to continue to live as a slave to sin. My encouragement for you who struggle, come out of the darkness and into His wonderful light of repentance, forgiveness and righteousness. There is help available through our ministry, and I also recommend Settingcaptivesfree.org, and Pure Freedom.

Faith in Suffering

In times of trial and suffering, we often wonder what God desires to produce by them. We tend to focus on being done with this time rather than on what God is doing rather than understanding that the trials we face are to bring about a complete and perfect faith.

If we could visit James 1:2-4 for a moment, I want you to see that the subject of this passage is not perseverance but faith. James says the goal in our trials is that our faith become perfect, complete, not lacking anything. “Perfect” in this verse means lacking zero faith.

This by the way is why and how we can rejoice in our trials- because they are producing in us a faith that is absolutely completely perfect – a faith that is not lacking anything in any respect. Think about that for a moment. What would that be like- to be so full of faith in God that when trials come our way we have no doubt about them, or hesitancy in going through them?

Faith like this can only be produced by testing and trials- i.e. suffering. This is why we can consider our trials with joy and welcome adversity as a friend- because they are God’s means to an end. Trials can mean the end of self-sufficiency and the beginning of dependence upon Him.

I love it when someone says to me “I can’t go on this way anymore!” I tell them they are right, and thank God they don’t have to! Jesus is here to help them change!

Each trial is a building block of faith. Each time we successfully navigate through the trial (by God’s grace) God proves He is faithful. We experience His sustaining power. He has carried us and directed us. We see He is true to His Word. We see He loves us.

So when the next trial comes we can go into it knowing that He is at the helm, He is only going to allow it to go so far and that it will not steal away our faith in Him.

It is somewhat like riding the waves in a boat in a storm. Each time I successfully navigate the swells my confidence grows that it will all hold together in Christ. By the same token, suffering is a confirmation of your faith. It is wrong to tell a Christian that they are undergoing trials and sufferings because they maybe are not a Believer.

This is what Job’s friends tried, remember? They wanted Job to think that he was cast off by God due to his suffering. God brings us trials and sufferings to show us that we are Christians! Remember that He is maturing our faith in these times. We certainly do not enjoy these times. We don’t say “Yippie! I am suffering! Oh YAY!” but there is a certainty about them, a confidence that God is maturing and completing His perfect work within us. He is making us more useful to Him as we learn and grow spiritually during those times.

Suffering shows us there is simply no one like God!

A Full Assurance of Hope

Have you ever been afraid that there will be a time that you cannot emotionally bear what you are being asked to endure? Have you ever been at the place where you honestly thought your suffering (in the body, or emotionally) was too much and that you were unable to make it any longer without relief?

Sometimes we fall back on the mistaken belief that what is happening to us is intended to destroy us, and we rarely think about it destroying us spiritually. We hanging on to the material, earthen vessel part thinking this suffering is going to take our life away and “then what?”

Another mistaken belief is that God is just not around while we are being pummeled by our circumstances or that He cannot react fast enough to preserve us or our faith. In reality, God does not react to things; He is not sitting around up there waiting to see what will happen next. He already knows! God equals causation, not reaction.

We fear falling apart, we fear losing our faith. I have seen it myself. In the midst of suffering, we wonder “Don’t You love me God?” “How can You be good and faithful and let this happen?” We listen to the lies Satan whispers in our ear and we begin to believe…God is not good, God is not faithful, God is not for us. That message is compounded by the constant negative drumbeat of the world we live in.

Someone is always trying to tell us the Bible is not true, God is not trustworthy, He is not Who He says He is. How much does it take for a long time believer to begin to wonder if this is all it is cracked up to be? How about a new or untaught believer? How long after being saved did that “nothing bad is ever going to happen to me now that I am a Christian” thing last? And if there is no foundation under that profession of faith, what is there to stand firm on?

Listen carefully to this: People who think that trials and suffering happen because you are not a Christian, or not a “good enough” Christian miss the point that the very strongest source of assurance is tested faith...tested faith.


Suffering and trials can reveal a lack of assurance in one’s salvation.


Sometimes a lack of assurance is warranted because actions don’t indicate there is anything spiritual going on within a person. We don’t see inside the heart of a person so we do not judge the heart; but they have made a profession of faith so we expect to see some evidence of the Holy Spirit within them. Could it be that these trials are to draw them to God toward genuine saving faith?


I am very cautious these days about accepting a profession of faith. When I am as sure as I can be that a person is regenerated, then I can confidently declare to them that the testing they are in the midst of could be the strongest proof of assurance. A sign from God that you indeed do belong to Him! James 1 says that our trials will produce a perfect faith that never doubts. A faith that is so strong that no matter what happens it never touches your eternal hope.




When your response to trials is correct what will come out of them will be a mature complete, confidence in God’s eternal purposes in your life. This can be your greatest source of joy.

Romans 5:1-4 seems to sew it up nicely for us:

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope…

We exalt in our troubles? Why? Because trouble brings perseverance, perseverance proven character and proven character produces...what?...hope. And hope translates immediately into assurance. If I have a solid hope of my eternal inheritance, I have a present assurance. Where do I get that hope? When my faith is tested and proven.

The trials of life should never cause you to doubt God's salvation, God's love, or God's grace in Christ toward the believer. These trials are given to you as tests to prove His love, to prove His power in your behalf. God brings us trials and sufferings to show us that we are Christians! He is maturing our faith in these times of trial and suffering. And since it is God who is allowing our trials and difficulties, we are to be diligent. We are to endure. We are to be patient.

God is bringing about a result- the full assurance of hope.

Grace and Mercy, Mercy and Grace

Does it ever amaze you that you continue to experience the grace and mercy of God in spite of your sin and shortcomings? Does that realization cause you to worship Him or run from Him?

The more I grow and change, and the more I begin to peek behind the curtain of my own heart, the more I begin to experience the glory of God.

My sin magnifies God’s glory.

When I said that recently to a friend, she said that sentence was a mind-blower. She is right. It is a mind-blower that the more I sin the greater God looks! Paul understood that when he wrote Romans 6. The worse I am the more amazing God’s love and grace appears because the more amazing it is! Paul said,

For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:7-8

Sadly, in most cases I am familiar with sin makes them run from God. They view trials and difficulties of life as punishment and chastisement from God for their sin. This is incorrect theology dear reading friends! As has been said before there are always consequences for sin, and they can be steep and costly in many ways however, they are never “punishment” from God.

The reason we have trials and difficulties is because we live in a sin cursed world! Even then, God is sovereign! In the midst of every trial there is an opportunity for growth and change and a chance to glorify God.

This is the difference between looking at life and our troubles from a punitive viewpoint or a grace based viewpoint. We prefer punitive. For some reason we would rather think we are being punished and earn our forgiveness through suffering for our wrongs. That completely flies in the face of grace and the cross. It is the difference between law and grace. We have been so brainwashed to think that punishment is where it is at- and in truth punishment was where it was at, but someone else took it for us.

He made us clean and whole and spotless, and we have nothing to do but believe. It seems too easy for us…because He made it easy for us. And you and I, well, we have to get to a point where because of what Christ did we are in such utter awe of it that we want nothing to do with the life dominating sin we haul around with us.

And I know there are those who say that this teaching leads us to continue to want to sin, to maintain the lifestyle of the prodigal knowing that when we have had our fill of the lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and pride of life that we can come back home again. This is an abuse of grace, and I maintain that a Spirit-filled believer will not do such a thing on a continuum. Of course, every believer has areas of the flesh that die harder than others and yet wanton abandon to sin in many or all areas will not be their lifestyle.

There are some things we just idolize so deeply that we don’t want to give them up as fast as others. God is patiently waiting for us to know these things in the heart and to desire Him above it all. The more we resist… the greater the idolatry.

Painful stuff Beloved, it is painful stuff to look behind the curtain of the soul.

Turn And Face the Strange Changes

A significant period of my life has ended. For the past 25 years I have been someone's "Mom" in a real and significant way. In that period of time, I have always had a child for whom I have been responsible, and I have had part in teaching, training, correcting, molding and shaping him into what I hoped would result in his being a godly man.

I will never forget when we left the first one on the doorstep of Moody Bible Institute. I vividly recall the last hugs, kisses and prayers before driving away from him. My torrents of tears were held in check until we began to drive away, and my mommy-heart felt as though it were breaking. I thought he would be alright, and believed he was exactly where God would have him to be. As time went on and he met his bride, I knew he would never be returning.  That was ok, I had two more sons left at home. 

Two years later, we saw our middle son raise his right hand and swear to protect and defend our nation, and later on that same day we stood at the gate in the airport and watched him leave us for Basic Training.  This time, the tears were not hidden and were a result of both pride and sorrow.  I thought he would be alright, and believed he was exactly where God would have him to be. Time went on and he excelled in the Air Force. I knew he would never be returning. That was ok, I had a young son left at home.

Last fall, our youngest son completed his home school obligations and has graduated high school. This past week we learned he has been accepted into college. This weekend we watched him pack the car for his trip out of State to train for his new management job. He will be physically gone for about a month and will turn 18 during this absence from us.  There have been no tears yet, I am thrilled for his accomplishments and proud of the godly young man he has become. He will not return the same person who left. I think he will be alright, and I believe he is exactly where God wants him to be.

I have parented with one overriding philosophy- you raise them to let them go. These children are not "mine" they belong to God. I have been the one charged with their care and upbringing with the view of eternity at the forefront.

It is difficult to believe I am out of children to raise. It is really shocking that this fall there will be no boxes of home school books to sort through, no curriculum to familiarize myself with, no schedule to keep or hours to track. There is no one here who will depend on me to be home at a certain time, no one to check in with me... this is going to be weird. 

Of course, I will always be their Mom, and to some degree they will always "need" me and we will always be connected in a way that will be unique to every other relationship they have. My main role in their lives has most certainly changed now, even with the last to leave the safety of the nest. I will no longer be the confidant and companion, I will now be the consultant and counselor to all of them.
 
My goal has been to be a parent who glorified God by how she raised her sons. I know I have not been perfect, or even good at this all of the time. I know I have stumbled and blundered and made stupid, selfish decisions at times. I think I did the best I could with what I had.

So, now I go forward. I am still Mom to three sons, but my role is already different. I can now begin to focus all my efforts and energy toward my relationship with my husband and to my ministry. I am excited to see what the Lord has around the corner! You will have a front row seat to it all, so stay tuned!

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; 2 Timothy 4:7

Just Rest

A woman came to me and told me she had previously been unfaithful to her husband. Another told me she had an abortion, and yet another told me she had been intimate with many men. All of these actions took place before these women were Christians and yet all of these women struggled with remaining guilt and shame. None of them said they experienced freedom in their Christian lives, and they all said they felt used, dirty and damaged.

Such is the state of our world. In this generation of “free love” and “easy sex” we find things are not so easy, and all these things have a price to be paid.

I hear them each tell me that they cannot forgive themselves these past indiscretions, and in the case of the woman who aborted her child, she says she cannot forgive herself of killing the child.

All the women are church going women who hide behind a mask of fear of being exposed. They fear someone, anyone finding out who they are and what they have done so they isolate. They may attend your Bible study or small group or prayer circle but let me assure you, they are very alone, trapped in a secret world of pain.

They do penance of various kinds, wrongly thinking that some sort of restitution is needed and required by God. One woman promotes marriage weekends, another volunteers at the crisis pregnancy center, and the last one works in youth group hoping to steer young woman away from her path of promiscuity.

These dear women need to realize that help and hope and healing are available to them in Christ. This business of forgiving yourself is not a biblical principle. No where in the Bible do we find Jesus telling anyone to forgive themselves. The women I wrote about today have read the account of the adulterous woman in John 8, and are familiar with Mary Magdalene, and the woman who wept at the feet of Jesus. None of these women asked Jesus how to forgive herself, they sought His forgiveness. When they received it, they obeyed His command to sin no more in this manner. They became His followers and lived their lives for Him.

We could learn a lot from these women and their immediate response to Jesus. Beloved, when Jesus forgave them, it was done. His forgiveness was complete and total. When He forgave you, it was finished the ransom was paid and you were freed!

To ever think that you can add anything to His payment for your sin or to think you’re your self abuse will obtain forgiveness is blasphemy. The guilty feelings that you hang on to that you somehow believe will help atone for your sin are actually adding sin to your heart and life!

Oh, but you feeeel like you must do something, it is too easy to just place it at the foot of the cross, you must pay a price or have a penalty- something! If this is so, then Jesus’ sacrifice was incomplete, our redemption is not assured and God is a liar.

There is nothing you can do that can outdo what has already been done by Christ on the cross. He was the complete, total, and perfect sacrifice for your sin and to think there is anything you can do to add to his substitutionary sacrifice on your behalf is foolish and a slap in the face of the Savior. 

Jesus death was all there was because His death was all that was needed to pay the penalty. Now, rest...just rest in his lavish love and forgiveness. Rest.

Irritability and Impatience

Are you an impatient person? Do you become irritable when things take a little longer than you expected them to take, or people don't perform according to your expectations?

Your responses may look like sarcasm, huffing sounds, tapping fingers or even exploding in anger at the delays you are presented with. Stop for a moment and think about the last time you were feeling impatient...how did you react or respond? What was the affect on the people around you at that time? Are you known as an impatient person among your family, friends, or co-workers?

The impatient person tends to be the last one to know how their behavior negatively impacts others because all they see is that it gets a response. The response usually enforces the sinful behavior because pragmatism rules the day for most of us. If it works, we use it.

This is one of those sins we tend to gloss over and want to ignore and justify when we are confronted. Scripture tells us to examine ourselves to be sure we are not only in the faith, but living it (2 Cor. 13:5).

If you are an impatient person, is your heart revealing self control?

But the fruit of the Spirit is...patience...self-control... Galatians 5:22 (NASB)

Those who live with an impatient person live in fear of the next blow up. There is a general tension in the home and in those around you. They are (internally or externally) anxious and uptight, living in fear that they will keep you waiting, or that the server in the deli will move too slow, or the mailman will be late, or the children will dawdle.

When you are not patient or self-controlled in public and make a scene your companions make excuses for you, wanting to ease the situation and stop things from getting worse.

May I ask, is this loving? Who are you thinking of in those moments of impatience and irritability? Are you thinking of others and what may be going on in their lives at that time or is it all about you and your needs and your wants (1 Cor. 13:1,4)? Who is your heart focused on? Are you intending to glorify God by this sort of behavior? 

Have you realized now that these actions are born of a prideful heart? A heart that is focused on yourself and your perceived needs and desires? If not, here is your wake up call!

Make a plan to change your responses to those that would honor God and bless others. When you are in the heat of the moment and the line is long and time is short - that is not the time to think of how you could respond. Take the time now, while you are relaxed to think through some ways you can short circuit the process before you are in the thick of it.

The times that you sense you are getting impatient and irritable begin to think of how your sinful responses affect the people around you and examine your heart in the moment. Remind yourself that the world does not revolve around you and the others do not exist for your pleasure but for God's pleasure.

Memorize some Scripture regarding this issue. Pray that the Spirit of God would make you sensitive to your sinful desires and help you to change the course before you plunge headlong into sin.

On the occasions when you fail be quick to confess your sin to God and the others who are aware of your becoming impatient and irritable. Ask them to forgive you and enlist their help in praying for you.

Recognition of the problem, prayer, and action are the keys to overcoming this sinful pattern of behavior.

What You Have In Christ

As regenerated people, believing in Christ and having been saved by His blood; we have a rich and glorious future.

We often struggle with really grasping spiritual and futuristic things because we are so temporally oriented. We do tend to live in today, and since we have never experienced anything like “eternal life” we struggle to put it into a context we can understand. Our ability is limited to the best earthly things we can think of and they pale in comparison to what truly awaits us. 

A short list of what we will inherit

• Eternal salvation “so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.” Titus 3:7
• Eternal glory – “through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.” Romans 5:2
• The universe- “in these last days has spoken to us in His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the world.” Hebrews 1:2
• The eternal presence of God Himself- “And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them…” Revelation 21:3

Our limited understanding does not allow us to fully understand what any of these things are going to be like, to even try makes my head hurt! Faith is required to accept that these things are ours and are certain. 

I cannot emphasize enough that the reason we are given these things is by grace alone! You and I did nothing to earn or merit this special favor from God; it was by His own goodness and mercy that we have been placed in Christ. According to Eph 1:13 you received it after hearing the “the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation…” And “having also believed…”  

Hearing the gospel and believing it are both required to obtain salvation. Many people have heard the gospel through evangelistic messages but not all have believed. According to Ephesians 1, all those who God has chosen will believe! This is a great comfort to me when I think of loved ones who as of yet have not been saved. I can rest in God’s plan for their lives knowing that it is not up to me that they become saved. I do not have to cajole, manipulate, beg or plead with them; I only have to clearly and correctly deliver the message of truth. I then pray for their heart to be open and soft to receive the Word. 

Once we believe, the Bible says we are “sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory.”

I love this! The Holy Spirit of God living in us is the guarantee that we belong to God! The Holy Spirit indwells us from the moment we believe, and He makes God’s Word understandable to us, He causes us to desire God, desire to pray, and desire to know God more. 

The Holy Spirit is also a deposit by God – literally earnest money – that He intends to take us home to be with Him one fine day. If you have ever purchased a home you are familiar with the term “earnest money.” When you find the home you want to purchase you give something that proves you intend to come back to claim it. The Holy Spirit residing within us is God’s earnest money for our redemption. He intends to come for us and proves that by leaving a part of Himself with us! It is His mark on us, and it says, “You belong to Me and to no other. I claim you, and no one can take you away from Me.” Jesus said this much better: 

“…I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. “My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. John 10:28-29

Simply glorious!

Issues of Contentment

I have been meditating on Philippians 4:11 recently. My reading has brought me to this book of the Bible and it is timely for it to be so. A little noteworthy thing is that Paul mentions "rejoicing" and "joy" no less than 16 times in this short epistle, and "attitude" or "this mind" no less than 10 times. It is clear that these are important themes here!

The verse I have in mind to blog about today is specifically Philippians 4:11 and the reason I am writing about it is because I believe it is sometimes used wrongly and foolishly in biblical counseling. 

Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. Philippians 4:11 (NASB)

Well meaning individuals have used this verse to encourage remaining in just about every circumstance of life, from jobs to marriage. There are times such counsel is dangerous.

I hear from you often, from all around the world and I am asked questions about issues like; what do I do if my husband is unkind, or hits me, or makes me work when I want to stay home and raise our children. What do I do when my husband wants me to watch pornographic movies or swap partners? What do I do when I am so miserable in my life and marriage that I want to leave and start over someplace else?

These questions and many others have been plastered with Philippians 4:11 and the verses following. We must be certain that our counsel is true to the intent of the Scripture and the circumstance, we must rightly divide the Word of God. 

There are covenantal obligations and non-covenantal obligations, there are preferences and there are commands. We have to be sure that we are looking at the situation from the correct viewpoint and taking into account the whole of the Scriptures. Things are rarely black and white, and clear cut as they may appear.

Even in a covenantal obligation such as marriage their can be exceptions to "be content in every circumstance." The woman who is beaten by her husband has no obligation to "be content." In fact, to counsel her to live this way is completely contrary to the Scriptures! A beaten or abused woman is not only a wife, she is a sister in Christ to her husband and a part of the Bride of Christ and the church has an obligation to assist her.

Romans 13 is not a suggestion and numerous Scriptures command us as the church to hold the husband/brother accountable for his sin against her in a serious and legal way!  We are to submit to the authorities placed over us to protect us. In the case of spousal abuse this means we counsel the woman and literally help the woman to remove herself from the situation, call the police and press charges against the husband. The laws are in place to help women in cases such as these. The goal is to restore the sinning husband/brother to fellowship, so Matthew 18 must also be a part of the plan and aggressive counseling measures must be implemented with strict accountability!

Any time a husband asks his wife to sin she is not obligated to obey him. She must submit to God first and not disobey God to obey her husband.

Issues like working or staying home are not as clear cut as we might like to think. Yes, while it is true that Titus 2 tells women to be keepers at home that is not always possible. Too many times the decision to work is made by economics. Couples that have not lived by sound financial rules or made poor decisions with debt have no choice but to require 2 incomes. Returning to the home should be the goal for the future. Making good decisions with money, paying down debt and living below your means will help to return a working woman to the home.

Discontentment does not have to be a bad thing if it is used to spur you on to make necessary changes in your life.

Wishing I Could Hit "Rewind"

Now I want you to know, brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel, so that my imprisonment in the cause of Christ has become well known throughout the whole praetorian guard and to everyone else, and that most of the brethren, trusting in the Lord because of my imprisonment, have far more courage to speak the word of God without fear. Some, to be sure, are preaching Christ even from envy and strife, but some also from good will; the latter do it out of love, knowing that I am appointed for the defense of the gospel; the former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition rather than from pure motives, thinking to cause me distress in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed; and in this I rejoice.Yes, and I will rejoice. For I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.                 Philippians 1:12-20 (NASB)

Long passage today, but it has a purpose. As I was reading through Philippians today this was the first of many things that caught my eye, and it relates to how others see Christ in us, and how our reactions and responses point others toward or away from the gospel.

I recently had a horrible day at my job. My Facebook friends watched my statuses pop up one after the other, reading my words of grumbling and complaint. Not my finest hour, to be sure.  I received much encouragement from my FB friends and prayer too!

When I returned home that evening I opened my Bible to Philippians and this is the passage that spoke loudly to my heart. I was deeply grieved and ashamed because I have to say that nothing about my response to the difficult circumstances would cause Christ to be known among unbelievers. Nothing in my words or actions would lead to "greater progress of the gospel." I did not proclaim Christ, I did not mention Christ, I did not honor Christ.

This grieves me because I have a passion and a love for Christ and I desire to be a vessel used by Him in the lives of others. It grieves me because I had a wonderful opportunity to put Christ in all His glory and magnificence on display for the unbelievers at my job and I failed miserably. 

Paul is my Bible hero and I wish I were more like him. Unfortunately, I am more Peter (the disciple with the foot-shaped mouth) than Paul. Paul's life was spent for the purpose of giving the gospel to others and he was so highly effective at it! In any and every situation Paul presented Christ. Philippians was written from prison, just prior to his death and even there he is putting Christ on display. He did not only use his words, he used his life.

This is what grieves me so deeply about my sinful reaction to today's circumstances- my life did nothing to put the glory of Christ on display. How serious will these unbelievers take me when I have an opportunity to speak into their lives about problems they may be having? How credible will my words be to them about the sufficiency of Christ and His ability to meet them in the need of the moment?  Will they look at me and think that I am a person who shows grace in handling difficult situations and difficult people well? I don't think so.

I know I will have other opportunities to respond differently, maybe even tomorrow! The responsibility before me now is to repent of my grumbling and complaining and to move forward in righteousness. My own heart issues were revealed in this matter and just like anyone else, I am obligated to deal with them. As Paul said at the end of Romans 7-

I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin. Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 7:21-Romans 8:1 (NASB)

Are You Self-Righteous?

I was recently talking with a friend over coffee at our favorite meeting place. It had been a while since we met and so we had quite a bit of catching up to do. Eventually, our discussion turned to the topic of self-righteousness and its place in our hearts.

Unfortunately, Christians sometimes tend to display a morally self-righteous attitude. The idea is that if you do something I don't do, then I am better than you. Even among our sisters in Christ we can sometimes get on our high horse and look down our noses with disdain at others who (fill in the blank), or those who look or dress a certain way. In a really sick way it makes us feel superior to them even if it is only for a moment. Sadly, that is a real problem among us ladies and it has to stop. 

I am aware of people who are literally afraid to confess their sin because of being judged by fellow Christians! Such a spirit of contempt has gripped the hearts of many that their mere opinion is enough to hold another in bondage to fear and to the sin that has entangled them.  This should not be.

You who judge, have you not read Luke 18?

And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. “The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. ‘I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ “But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’ “I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”  Luke 18:9-14 (NASB)

When will we remember that being judgmental is prideful? How easy we can ignore the warning of 1 Peter 5:5 and James 4:6! We foolishly believe that God is somehow going to look past our pride with some sort of escape clause... If you are prideful, God stands opposed to you.  Opposed! The God who is "for me" (Romans 8:31) will stand in opposition to me in my pride.

Do you not remember that you are only one mere thought away from committing the most heinous sin? Never say you would never do such a thing, for it opens up the gates of temptation wide and makes a way for the enemy of your soul to have his way with you - because of your prideful heart.

Love your sister in Christ enough to bear her burdens, be her counselor, be her friend. Consider your own pathetic state before God for you are a beggar and without Christ, you are a wretch. Humble yourself, cast self-righteousness away from you, and He will lift you up.

Does God Even Care?

Have you ever wondered if God cares one whit about you or your circumstances of life? Reality dictates that bad stuff happens to us with regularity; cars break down, we run out of money before payday, people we love let us down and hurt us. There is no shortage of things that go wrong in our daily lives that lead us to become anxious and frustrated.  Often, I am asked: "Does God even care about my circumstances?"

The short answer is "Yes" God most certainly does care about you and how you respond to your circumstances.  God intends to use every issue that comes your way in life to conform you to the image and likeness of Christ (Rom 8:29).  Your circumstances are being divinely orchestrated by the God who loves you! He is using them for His glory and the good of His people. 

So what do you do with the emotions that seem to surround "out of control" situations? Matt. 6:25-34 reminds us that God cares for the littlest and the seemingly insignificant things He has created; birds and flowers. These two things that we usually passively observe in nature are according to Scripture provided for by God's own hand. The passage says "Your heavenly Father feeds them" and "God cares so wonderfully for flowers."

This is significant! The birds and flowers are completely dependent on their Creator to sustain them and provide for all their needs.  Have you ever seen a bird or a flower fretting about where their water would come from? They both have been programmed to trust God to supply their needs, and we must do the same.

Our faith and belief are to be active. We must exercise (gymnazo) our faith. That little Greek word is the place we get gymnasium and gymnastics from. Think of the gymnast for a moment- did she get to the Olympics by an occasional practice? Of course not! She puts hour after hour in honing her skills, replacing all natural fear and reaction with the performance of her routine, blocking out all distractions and simply doing what she has been essentially programmed to do.What have we been "programmed to do" as Christians?  Pray, trust, obey.

When tempted to be anxious about something, by all means pray! Pray that God would help you to see life and the situation from His point of view. Pray He would grant you the increase of your faith in the midst of it all. Once you pray, be willing to accept from God what unfolds- remembering that God is much wiser than you are and that His ways are ultimately good. He has known since eternity past what has come to you today and what you will face tomorrow. God is never surprised.

God desires for you to come to Him, but in humility. Take care never to show up at the throne of God with your fist in the air, heart full of demands about how things must work out.  Obey His Word about how you are to respond and how you are to live your life as a Christian.

Live No Longer as a Slave to Sin

What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it? Romans 6:1-2 (NASB)

This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible. In one of my Bible's I have a handwritten note that fills in the thought behind these couple verses. It says: What shall we say then? Are we to continue to live as slaves to sin any longer? Are we to continue living as though we believe sin still has power over us? May it never be!

We have been freed from the power of sin, it has no hold over us and we have no obligation to listen to or obey the call of sin any longer.

What ought to be visible in our lives is an increased sensitivity toward our sin, and a disdain for our sin. This should bring to mind the kindness and graciousness of God toward us.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 (NASB)

Because of what has been done for us we have access to the God of the Universe, the Supreme Being, the Alpha and Omega. Because of that access we can come at any moment to the throne of grace and seek help in our time of need (Heb. 4:16).

Because we are able to approach God, we must. We are to confess the sin that enslaves us to God and seek the help of the Spirit of God and our fellow Christians in overcoming our sin.  God requires that I confess my sin to Him...confession is simply agreement. I am agreeing with God that what I have done is wrong,  that I am still a sinner and that I have an ongoing, continuous need for a Savior.

If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.       1 John 1:8-9 (NLT)

As I change my desires from those that worship "Me" to those that will honor and glorify God obedience will begin to be a greater part of my thoughts. As obedience to the Spirit becomes a lifestyle I will have less and less desire to give in to the flesh.

Scripture promises that as we pursue righteousness we will be satisfied! Our desire will be met by God who earnestly desires that we earnestly desire to put our sin to death. Notice that Gal. 5:22 is a result

But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law.  Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

Since God is for me, who can be against me (Rom 8:31)? Since God has begun this work in my life and in my heart, He will carry it all through to a conclusion. God is at work in me and will give me the ability to change. He is transforming me and you into the same image as the glorious Lord!

The Importance of Sin In Your Life

If you are intending to change biblically, it is crucial that you understand the role sin plays in your life, and its effect on every relationship you have. I have observed that many Christians tend to view their sinful thoughts, actions, and desires too casually. They don't look at their sin for what it is in God's eyes; rebellious and heinous and contrary to the sovereign authority and majesty of God.

But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. James 1:14-15 (NASB)

This verse reveals the "why" we love to sin; because the heart is full of lusts that demand to be satisfied at any cost and then are explained away as normal for us and by us.

Part of the problem of our post modern church age is that the wrong things we do are dumbed down for the masses who do not want their conscience pricked by truth.  For example, the common to man behaviors such as anger and swearing are labeled as "mistakes" or "goof ups" instead of sins.  Where is the accountability for sin when it is not even called sin?  Do you see how sin has been excused away? Can you see the damage the whole disease model theory (see previous post) has brought into the church?

Many churches no longer even preach about sin due to fear of man and the whole church growth movement. Since an abundance of churches now follow the Purpose Driven Life philosophy there is no one confronting sin in the church or calling it sin. As a result, people are not being challenged to holy living. There is no challenge to thinking, and no understanding of the sinful heart of mankind. The leadership of more churches than I can count do not practice Matthew 18 for the purpose of restoration of a repentant sinner, because sin is not mentioned!!

The Holy Spirit is absent from such churches as no one is really interested in change to glorify God, but most are interested in change that will make them feel better about how they are living and sinning.

The sin of "Christian's" is compounded as every attempt to gloss over it is made and claims go forth in how God's grace is enough to cover their "mistake." The church is truly becoming more like the world than the spotless Bride of Christ. How much worse for us as partakers of God's abundant grace, those who are one with Christ to take part in such casual excusing of sin. Do we realize that what we are doing is flaunting God's grace?

In God's eyes, there are no minor sins ladies. I believe God takes all very seriously for Christ paid for each one of them with His blood on the cross.

We are supposed to belong to God and have allegiance to Him and His mission for mankind. When you and I willingly and wantonly sin, we are actively being traitors to our first love. Choosing our own way and putting our own will ahead of God's good will for us us idolatry. We are selling out our God who deserves our loyalty for our own self-worship.

Instead, let us walk in the Spirit so that we do not indulge the lusts of the flesh.

You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: “He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us”? But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.” Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. James 4:4-9 (NASB)

Why Words Matter

If you are a regular reader of the blog, you know that I am rather a stickler for words and what they mean in the context of biblical change for life change. For example, I believe that a word like "alcoholic" steals hope from people. While the word "drunkard" is not used much in society, perhaps it ought to be. Drinking to excess is a behavior that can become a lifestyle rather than a disease (in and of itself) that happens to a person for some mysterious reason that no one can scientifically nail down.  It is true that drunkenness leads to physical ailments and diseases like cirrhosis of the liver, but those illness are results of the behavior of drunkenness.

Now, before you start sending me hate mail, the truth is that there is no agreement on any of these behaviors that the mental health people slap labels on and call diseases. In the vast majority of the people "diagnosed" (and I use that term very loosely) with a "mental illness," there is no medical basis for such a claim. Why am I making an issue of this? This is important because words can steal hope. Words that condemn a person to a lifetime of being "in recovery" or "co-dependent" or "bi-polar" lead us to believe that we are a victim of a cruel twist of fate, or worse yet a cruel God who would afflict us with something that we cannot unload.

Yes, of course we are as a people mortal and prone toward physical illness and one day we will die. However, our death will most likely be the result of a medically diagnosed and scientifically proven illness such as cancer, diabetes, or complications of old age.

Words matter because they either give or steal away our God-given hope in daily life. Jesus Christ came to set the captives free from the bondage sin has on our hearts and lives. He died for the drunkard, the liar, the thief, the homosexual, the prostitute, the debtor, the rebellious, the angry, the doubter, the over eater, the under eater, the anxious at heart and the fearful to only list a few.  There is hope in Christ for a changed life when the sinful things we struggle with (which is everything  on the above list) is called sin, accepted as sin, and dealt with as sin at the heart level.

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.  1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (NASB)

Jesus Christ is faithful and He is our way of escape from the sinful ties that bind us to the old and worn out ways of the world.

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.  1 Corinthians 10:13 (NASB)

More next time on this very important subject!

Fear

You don’t need me to tell you that at this point in history we have more reasons than ever before to be fearful, anxious and to worry. Our economy is nearing collapse, we are running out of oil and natural gas (if you listen to certain people) and then there is the ever present clamoring over the theory of global warming. That leaves out entirely the wars, cost of living and other natural disasters. 

Many of the Old Testament saints struggled with fear and worry. Great men like Moses (Ex. 3:11, Ex. 4:1, Ex. 4:10, 4:13), or King Saul (1 Samuel 15:21-22).

The first woman, Eve struggled with the serpent in the OT narrative (Gen. 3) of being afraid she was going to miss something by not eating of that tree in the center of the garden. Let’s pick up her story today after her and Adam both partook of that fruit. In Gen. 3:8-10 we see Adam displaying a new kind of fear. 

They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” Genesis 3:8- 10

They became afraid when they knew good and evil. When their eyes were opened and they understood things they were not intended to understand. They became afraid of discovery, afraid of punishment, afraid of God. 

Thankfully, a believer in Christ we have no reason to fear God in that way. Scripture has no references to their being any sort of punishment from God for a born again believer in Christ. What would God punish us for? Scripture teaches us that all our sin- past, present, future was paid for on the cross. Romans 8:1 tells us there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! When God looks at the blood bought saint, all He sees is Christ. If there was something for God to punish us for, then it would mean that Christ’s sacrifice and His redemption of our souls was incomplete. 

There is no punishment for our sin coming from God dear reading friend. Do we experience consequences for our sin? Yes, of course we do and sometimes it feels like punishment but it is not. God will never punish His own children for that would make a mockery of the death of Christ and His full payment for our sin. Living in fear of a God who waits to punish is living in fear of an unbiblical God. 

If you live in fear of a condemning, judgmental God something to ask yourself is if you have a real reason to be afraid. Any fear that continues beyond actual danger is an indication of a lack of faith. Is it possible you are laboring under a false salvation? Because, the greatest fear of an unbeliever should be death and judgment.

It is possible to have an understanding of your sinful condition and still be in stubborn rebellion before God. It is possible to have head knowledge of salvation, know the right words to say, what you are supposed to believe and still be unregenerate! Once you place your faith and trust in Christ that fear will dissipate.

Why I Do What I Do

Years ago I understood the call of God on my life. It came through my husband who recognized my passion for the Truth and my ability to communicate that truth effectively to others. This was not something I sought, but something I knew was there. The Spirit of God was working and I began to understand that God laid hold of my heart and gave me a mission to women. I distinctly remember sitting on the steps in my home praying, asking God if what I suspected was true.

I did not choose this, I was chosen for it and that is why in spite of many obstacles I persevere in counseling biblically. I have tried to walk away before, and have been miserable within. My wonderful husband has dared me in those times by saying, "Just try not to teach, Jul."

“I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me” (Philippians 3:12).


At the root of my ministry is the gospel and its application to every life I am able to touch. I could not imagine doing anything else nor do I truly want to. I deeply, deeply desire to impact the hearts and lives of women and their families through the message of hope and change that is found only in Jesus Christ.

There are times I am frustrated with God's timetable and the demands placed upon me by circumstances, but I have only to look at the examples set before me in the Word to see how my heroes of the faith juggled their responsibilities and wove their ministries into everyday life. 

I find myself in the grip of God. His call and ownership of my life are paramount and He is the Son around which I orbit and order my life.

Does your heart beat with mine in this respect? If so, you may be called to a life of service to the King. Stop and pray, seek His face, examine your heart, and get wise counsel. Then, if all you suspect is true really is true- move forward in faith.  There is nothing so glorious like living your life for the sake of others.


“Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do  I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13–14).