Occasionally it seems prudent to revisit an important topic and the topic of abdication of leadership in the home would be one of those critical issues that needs to be revisited.
How is a wife supposed to live submissively with a man who refuses to lead? Doesn't that automatically place the woman in the position of leadership? After all, someone has to make decisions!
Let's take a look at the first failure in leadership for some background, God's first man, Adam.
When Adam and Eve were created and placed in the garden there was no reason to disagree about anything because there was no sin. Adam was set up by God as the leader of his household and was to guide and direct his wife in the ways of the Lord.
They both had a great advantage because God walked and talked with them personally. They did not need a prophet or a scroll to read from to understand what God wanted or required from them because God told them audibly. God walked with Adam and Eve in that garden on a daily basis. Amazing!
Adam was given a clear set of instructions by God that he passed on to Eve regarding the tree in the center of the garden. The fruit of that tree was as good as fruit on the tree next to it but God had forbidden them to eat of it lest they understand evil and sin. It wasn’t the fruit; it was the command and if they chose to disobey the command their eyes would be opened to the knowledge of good and evil because they would have committed the sin of disobedience.
Eve was seduced by the serpent into believing lies about what God truly did say regarding that tree and the fruit. Scripture informs us that Eve was not alone with the serpent as she was tempted. Genesis 3:6 tells us that Adam was there as the serpent twisted God’s Words, and interacted with Eve. There is no record that Adam attempted to correct the serpent’s lies or to drag Eve away from the situation, he was right there listening. He did not refute the lies or distortions. She was deceived and ultimately disobeyed her husband and God and ate of the tree. Her act was not one of flaunting rebellion; she was seduced by the great Deceiver! HHHHHn er protector, Adam, was not protecting. Her leader, Adam, was not leading. In fact, Adam followed his wife into sin and ate the fruit she gave him.
Adam abdicated his position of authority as Eve’s headship, and his leadership over his wife. When their sin was “discovered” by God, Adam blamed God for giving him Eve as though it were her fault he disobeyed. He knew the truth for God had told him personally. He also blamed God for his own sin claiming God had erred in giving him this particular woman.
Adam abdicated his leadership position and failed to protect his wife from sinning. For this sin, Adam is held responsible for sin entering into the world.
Many, many ladies desire to be led by their husbands in marriage. A part of us wants that leadership and oversight and direction, and honestly, the other part of us hates it much of the time. That is our curse to bear (Gen. 3) for we want to rule over our husbands. It is not God's desire or plan that we do so He causes us to ache for that leadership and headship over us.