Biblical Counseling for Women: Summer's Coming....

Unfortunately, in the past year culture has continued to promote the sexualization of women from ages 9 to 69. Clothing choices have become even more immodest and reveal much more about the wearer than the style they prefer. Mother's, what I have to say may be hard to hear but it is very necessary. Your clothing style is a large influence on your daughter and if you are immodest in your selections they will be more so. YOU are to have the final word in her clothing choices, and if you allow her to choose things that are immodest or provocative in the name of fashion you are abdicating your responsibility to raise her in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

Women have a responsibility to dress in a manner that is not publicly provocative. Ladies, contrary to what you may have been taught, it is not all about you! It is true that every man is responsible for his own actions and it is never alright for a man to press unwanted advances on a woman. "No" means no- period. Keeping that in mind, there are plenty of woman who say "No" with their mouths, but say "Yes" with their clothing.

Your clothing choices reveal a lot more than your skin. You are sending non-verbal messages about your character. You are communicating what you think about yourself and ultimately you are revealing a prideful or lustful heart.

When a woman wears a very short tight skirt, and a see though skimpy top out for the evening with friends what sort of signal is she giving off? Is she saying with her clothing, "I am a chaste, Christian woman?" Is she saying, "Leave me alone, I don't want male attention?" Hardly. Women who dress provocatively are intentional in their choices. They are certainly not putting forth the impression that they are godly women looking for godly men.

Having 3 sons I can tell you that is not what men think when they see a young woman dressed that way. When a woman is scantily dressed she is saying, "Look at me, I am hot." She is seeking the eyes of men and no one can convince me otherwise. Every woman knows that men are excited by the visual. That is why pornography is popular with men. They like to see sexual things because it excites them. When they see women in public dressed in a provocative manner, they become interested and aroused by what they see!

Contrary to what you may think, women do not have a "right" to dress any way they please! We are responsible for the sexual desires we incite by our clothing, our actions, and our words. When we encourage desires we can not righteously fulfill in a marriage relationship, we are defrauding those men. We are offering something we cannot rightly give them.

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

This means that what goes on inside is what God is most concerned with. The world promotes the idea that a person who is dressed in the latest fashion has an edge of some kind, they are "with it" and "in vogue." People who think that way consider themselves somehow superior to the person who is dressed in modest less-revealing clothes.

Please understand, what a person wears can be a reflection of their spiritual life and condition. In fact the less polished person may be a spiritual giant and be living a life of sacrifice for the sake of others (James 2:1-5). The scantily clad woman is revealing much about her heart.

“You took some of your clothes, made for yourself high places of various colors and played the harlot on them, which should never come about nor happen. “You also took your beautiful jewels made of My gold and of My silver, which I had given you, and made for yourself male images that you might play the harlot with them. “Then you took your embroidered cloth and covered them, and offered My oil and My incense before them. Ezekiel 16:16-18 (NASB)