Words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious, while the lips of a fool consume him; the beginning of his talking is folly and the end of it is wicked madness. Yet the fool multiplies words. Ecclesiastes 10:12-14a (NASB)
Because my ministry is primarily to women I spend a lot of time listening. I can safely say with some authority that some women simply talk too much for anyone's good.
I see this problem when women come in with their husbands for counseling. Sometimes I see a woman talking over her husband. He will be speaking and she (being the consummate mind reader) "knows" how he will finish his sentence and saves him the trouble. She often answers questions he has not asked yet!
I see this problem in all kinds of women in social situations. In a gathering, the woman who talks too much is often avoided. Everyone seems to know she has a lot to say about absolutely nothing. Her talk is empty chatter intended to fill the void of silence. Sometimes she gossips or maligns others believing that what she has to tell them is valuable information.
I am willing to bet we all have known someone like this at one time in our lives. Maybe upon reflection you are wondering if you are one of them!
Here are a few things to get you thinking today, can you answer "Yes" to any of these questions? If so, you may be a woman who talks too much.
- I cannot stand silence when I am in a room with someone. I have to make some small talk at least every few minutes.
- I frequently talk but say nothing productive or beneficial.
- I have to make a point, or agree, or have some input in every conversation while in a group.
- I find myself lying (to be included) about situations that have happened to others. Pretty much everything has happened to me!
- I am loud to be noticed.
- I make use of over exaggerated gestures as I talk.
- I make myself the center of attention through laughter, and open ended phrases that welcome comments.
When a multitude of words are coming forth there is such a great danger of ungodly speech! It becomes so easy to embellish a story, add details that are not true, or say things that are unkind and hurtful.
In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise. Proverbs 10:19 (NKJV)
Here are some other ways women talk too much:
Babbling about nothing (Proverbs 10:8); Idle talk (1 Timothy 1:3-7); Gossip (Proverbs 20:19); Unwholesome talk (Ephesians 4:29); Busybodies (1 Timothy 5:13); Harping (Proverbs 27:15); Complaining (Proverbs 21:19); Grumbling (Philippians 2:14)
Ladies, there is much to be said about silence and meditation, even when you have an opinion. There is no shame in listening quietly, or silent agreement. In fact, it may be the better part of wisdom!
Talking reveals much more about us than we realize. Talking too much reveals what is going on in her heart. A woman who talks too much is revealing a heart of fear, a heart of selfishness, and a heart of pride.
"But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man." Matthew 15:18 (NASB)
Women who talk too much are typically fearful. They are fearful of not being liked or accepted by their peers and mistakenly believe that if they are verbally visible they won't be invisible, ignored or unimportant.
Tomorrow we will continue with the solution!