Many of you have been waiting a long time for this series on singleness. I have several unmarried friends who “suffer” day after day of postings on things related to marriage and family, waiting for me to post something relative to them. It is with love and thanksgiving for your patience that I dedicate these posts to you.
My single friends struggle greatly with the married climate in the church. It seems that everything is geared towards couples and families, and there is precious little for our unmarried brothers and sisters in Christ. Most dread the Singles Group and see it as the place all the desperate people go to find a spouse. When matches are made in these groups, I am told it leads to a further sense of hopelessness for those who remain single.
Many have told me they feel like second-class citizens in their own churches, islands of isolation among the happy loving couples God has brought together. They wonder if somehow they have missed the Love Boat, or have been misplaced by God. Far too many are discontent and unhappy with their lives. They have the view that true happiness in life is eluding them because they have no husband to share it with. They believe they are missing something and that God has cheated them.
The first thing I want you to know is that God has not overlooked you. You have not been misplaced, or lost in the shuffle. God has a purpose and a plan for you and for this time in your life. Your singleness is intentional and purposeful; He intends to use it and to use you for your good and His glory.
The second thing you should know is that as a single person, you are in great company! Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were all single people (John 11:30-45); the merchant Lydia (Acts 16:14) was unmarried, and the Apostle Paul was single (1 Cor. 7:8) as was Timothy (Acts 16:1). The Apostle John was single as a widower in his older years, and perhaps the best single man of all was the Lord Jesus Christ.
There is nothing about being married that makes a person a better Christian or more loved by God. We are all sinners standing needy at the foot of the cross; we all have the same need for redemption and sanctification (Rom 2:9-11).
Being single does not make you less fortunate than your fellow Christians who are married. You are exactly where God wants you to be right now!
But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 1 Cor.7:8 (NASB)
Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. 1 Cor. 7:18 (NASB)
God desires for you to glorify Him as a single person. You have been gifted and enabled to serve Him uniquely and in ways that your married counterparts cannot. This season of your life may be temporary and He has things for you to do in it, people for you to minister to, ways to serve Him and His church. Despite your thoughts or feelings on your marriage status the Lord instructs us all to be thankful for whatever state we are in (Col 3:12-17).
Begin today to look at your life through His eyes, and see the wonderful opportunities He has given you to reflect His love that is within you. Examine your heart and if you find you are discontent with His plan for your life you must repent of this rebellion. Begin to practice gratitude for this time of your life and seek to use the giftedness God has placed within you.