Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Do You Talk Too Much?

Being a woman and a biblical counselor I hear my share of complaints from wives who are dissatisfied with their husband’s attentiveness toward them.  They want his time and undivided attention. They want him to sit and listen to them talk. They tell me they want his advice on problems and his leadership in their home and with their kids but he won’t give it.

When she pushes him for a reason he gives a reply that amounts to, “It doesn’t matter what I say, you will do what you want anyway.”  He may also make comments about how she will just argue until she gets her way. This signals a huge problem: some women simply talk too much.

When a woman talks too much there is no room in the marriage for the husband to be the leader of the home or to get in a few words edgewise.

What does talking too much reveal about a woman? It reveals much about her heart for sure! A woman who talks too much is not living out Phil 2. She is not considering others better than herself. This is pure selfishness and reveals a lack of submission to Scripture. A woman who talks too much is most likely not a submissive wife either. 

A submissive woman is nothing like what the world wants to make her out to be. The biblical definition of submission (hupataso in Greek) means; to come under another as in military rank; to be under their protection and guidance, and to fall in place under. There is no intonation of "doormat" or slave attached to this word when it is viewed properly. The ugly distortions of the feminists regarding submission make it out to be a horrible and evil matter that takes away a woman's personhood. Nothing could be further from the truth! 

When a woman is constantly over ruling or contradicting her husband or those in authority over her it is a clear indication she does not understand biblical submission, or even worse if she does understand and refuses to obey God in this command. Submission is a heart issue long before it is an action. Submission in the heart is a willingness to obey God despite how it feels or how others view it. 

A woman can fake submission; I call this sitting down on the inside while standing up on the inside. She can appear to be the picture of submission and compliance to the observer, but her heart is hard and angry toward God and the one to whom she is to submit. 

In addition to being selfish and unsubmissive, these women believe their opinion is more important than their husband's, or anyone else's. She may think he is not wise enough to make decisions, or that her ideas are better than his. This is nothing more than gross pride ladies.

Perhaps God has gifted you in ways He has not gifted your husband; however your role is to be a supportive helper. There are ways to express your opinion and to tell your husband what your perspective is on a situation. It becomes a problem when the woman is unable to keep it to a one or two time "suggestion." When the husband does not react or agree with her it becomes a battle with barrage of words to convince him to follow her leading, or perhaps she has a fit and retaliates in some other way. 

Are you a woman who talks too much? Think about this, and if you are really brave, ask your husband tonight if he thinks you talk too much!

This is not the end of this topic, I will continue this next time! 

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