His Great Sufficiency

Even in emotional suffering Christ is sufficient. There is a great danger of being lured away by worldly philosophies because it causes us to refocus on temporal things, and to loose our desire and vision for God.

I once heard a pastor say, “Once we lose our vision for God, who He is, what He has done through His Son Jesus Christ, we get a vision for something else. God is put on the shelf, an abstraction. Christ’s work on the Cross becomes a footnote in history that has application when I die but is irrelevant now.”

Has this ever happened to you? Have you lost your focus on Christ and begun to look at temporary situations and your present difficulties as all there is?

I want to redirect you today from focusing on yourself and your situation and from the things that get you down and cause you to feel bad, to focusing on Christ in the Bible.

In the NASB the terms “in Him” appear 94 times. The terms “with Him” are there 114 times. If something is mentioned that many times, it has got to mean something! So let us look today at Him and discover some of the realities about Jesus. It is inevitable that we relate some of them to ourselves but it is important that you understand that these things are true about Him regardless of how they do or don’t affect you.

. …in Him you have been made complete… Jesus is able, by virtue of who He is to make us complete. I have heard women and men say of their spouse, “He/She completes me.” While I have no doubt that we can find someone who so matches our personality that it seems that we are incomplete without them the only One who can truly complete you is Christ.

Remember that you are born with that God-shaped void in your spirit. You and I were born sinners, spiritually dead, without life, unable to do anything about it at all. We are helpless and as hard as we may try, as many good deeds as we may do we are still insufficient and incomplete without Christ.

Who else in the history of all the world can make a person complete? No one but Jesus.

When we are complete in Him, we are also immediately positionally secure. This means that no matter how you may feel about it God says that you are secure. I recall watching the hurricane Katrina recovery efforts in the south a few years ago, and seeing a man being hoisted into a helicopter in the arms of a rescuer. The man had some security line around him, and he was being held tightly by the other man but I can only imagine that he was a little concerned about how secure he truly was as he was lifted hundreds of feet in the air.

The man who is the rescuer knows exactly how secure his charge is. He knows what it takes to rescue him, and he has done all that is necessary to harness the man in. Regardless of how that man being rescued feels, he is safe.

Jesus knew exactly what was needed to rescue you and He went the whole distance. He did not stop short of the necessary sacrifice to secure your eternal destiny. This is why as he hung on the cross he cried, “It is finished!” because all that needed to be done was done.

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Corinthians 5:21 (NASB)

You and I cannot add nor subtract from that in any way because we did not do it! Our salvation was monergistic meaning it was a work done by One. We are passive in this process because we have been saved by someone else. Just like that man could not get up into that helicopter alone; you cannot get saved from your sin without Christ. You can not provoke Christ to save you, and you cannot buy His love. He chooses you.

In my opinion, that makes our salvation and regeneration even more spectacular! I have a fairly good estimation of my depravity...I know how dreadfully sinful I can be (and by God's grace I only know in part!) and even then- He loves me and He chose me! ...amazing....

I think we have only a rudimentary understanding of the great and wonderful story of our redemption and our buy-back from sin. It begins at the cross. The cross is our present hope and our future hope. I found grace and mercy there...I pray that you have as well.

Called and Kept for Jesus Christ

"To those who are the called, beloved in God the Father, and kept for Jesus Christ" Jude 1:1

I was speaking with a woman the other day, and part of our conversation was about Christ and our relationship with Him and to Him. The woman said to me, “I am not walking well with Him.”

When someone makes a statement like that to me, I immediately know there is an aspect of their theology that is out of whack. My response to a person when they begin to say those types of things is that a believer is always "walking well" with Him. (It is an anthem of mine as you know!) She right away told me I was wrong, that it was a fact that she was most certainly not walking well with Jesus.

This raises some big warning bells in my head and heart. First, I grieve that she struggles so with accepting on an application basis who she is in Christ. Let me ask you to think about this same question I asked her about this business of “not walking well with Him.” Does that mean to you that you are not keeping the rules? Think about that for a while… How much of your acceptance by God in Christ is based on how well you keep the rules?

...to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:6

For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace. Romans 6:14
 

I wish to remind you again that what we have is a relationship and not gained by keeping the rules I believe many of us need that reminder occasionally. We love those rules! We love needing them and wanting them and clinging to them because then we feel secure. We think that following the rules gains us some status or stature or security with God on some level. In one breath, we agree that we are always secure in Christ and in the next we say that we have to have those rules!

If I can impart this one truth to your hearts by God’s grace and the moving of His Spirit, let it be this! As a believer in Christ, you are always secure in Him. What Jesus Christ did was enough for yesterday, today and tomorrow. Nothing more is needed, nothing more is asked for. From the perspective of Almighty God our relationship with Him never waivers. He never sees us any differently in spite of the good or bad choices we make in life. 

Consequences occur as results of our choices, both good and bad but they do not define our relationship with Him.

...and in Him you have been made complete, Colossians 2:10

The Sin of Perfectionism

If you are a perfectionist, you already know that you hate being a "beginner" at anything. A new game or a new job or social situation is enough to send you over the edge. You fear the embarrassment of not performing perfectly or to your own standards. You fear having someone look over your shoulder in a training situation because they will see that you are not perfect and make mistakes. Even when you know that you don't know what you are doing, and by all rights shouldn't know what you are doing, you become angry at yourself for making errors. If someone should criticize you, you are devastated and beat yourself up inside (and sometimes outside) for not being perfect.

This is one tough way to live! We are commanded to be holy, which implies perfection but we are not commanded to be perfect.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to do a good job or with wanting to excel at something. It is even alright to want to do an excellent or superior job! However, constantly having to be the best is nothing more than pride. When being the best causes me to sin in my anger it is not a righteous goal any longer. When wanting to be better than others means I tear them down or step on them to get there, it is sinful.

To get a handle on this life-dominating sin you must be willing to be honest with yourself and to evaluate your actions and most of all evaluate your heart through the grid of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.

• You must ask yourself some tough questions to get to the heart of the matter!
• Must you always look good to other people?
• Do you make excuses when you are confronted with mistakes?
• Are you defensive when confronted?
• Do you get angry with yourself thinking, "I should not make such a mistake?"
• Are you judgmental toward people who do not live up to your standards?
• Is it true that nothing is ever good enough for you? Is the glass always half empty?
• Have you become a grumbler?
• Are you ungrateful to God for all His blessings because they are not "perfect" in your judgment?

Answering questions like these is only the beginning of addressing this horrible issue. Once you understand that your perfectionism is truly a visible display of the pride in your heart you must take steps to overcome it by God's grace and power.

Romans 12:2 tells us to be transformed or changed completely (inside and out) by the renewing of our minds. Our minds are renewed through reading and meditation on the Bible. Your thoughts will be impacted by those precious words of God's as they weave their way into your heart. Your desires will change as your heart changes and what God wants for you becomes more important to you than being perfect is right now. Your actions will change as your desires change and your thoughts change.

This is not going to be an easy area to address in your life. You most likely have years of ingrained habits that you will have to overcome and address one at a time. You may find discouragement right around the corner as you desire to change. Please let me encourage you by reminding you that Jesus Christ died for your sins, including pride and perfectionism. There is no sin that by His power and grace you cannot overcome.

When the Strong Become Weak

I am blessed to be friends with several strong women. They are just constitutionally strong, generally unflappable and very capable. Some stay home with their children, one or two have jobs they work from home, and others work full time or part time, but all have children and are involved in some kind of ministry in addition to their "real jobs." 

These dear women confess to struggling with their strength at times. The plain truth is, strong women sometimes struggle with being strong. It seems they do too good of a job at it and therefore it is hard for those around them to understand or even accept that they are in need of comfort, tenderness, gentleness, and protection. They have always been the ones who keep on keeping on in the face of sickness, sorrow, fear, and personal tragedy.  Their responsibilities are fulfilled, shopping is done, dinner is on the table and there are clean socks and underwear every day in spite of what internal or external upheaval is taking place.

But wow, there are times when even the strongest of women need a place to go and hide or take refuge. They desire to run and find a broom tree to lie under, or to be gathered into the strong arms of one who loves them and be stroked and comforted with gentle words of understanding.

The problem is they are perceived as being nearly invincible and not in need of such comforts.  When the day comes that strong women go looking for arms stronger than theirs they often come up empty. It seems they can be too good at being strong and capable, so it becomes the norm that they are expected to "just handle it" what ever it is.

This leaves them wounded and longing for someone who understands. It chips away at the idea of their husband being their protector and defender. In truth, men married to strong women say they have little need to protect or defend most of the time so they get out of practice and just assume that their wife is okay.

I recall when a friend of mine was tending to her mother's final needs. Her husband travels a lot for his job and is more of the analytical type. My friend is brilliant, and completely capable however at this point in time she was uncharacteristically emotional. Her husband did not know what to do with his suddenly needy wife and asked her what she wanted him to do for her. She told me later that there is little comfort in having to tell someone how to comfort you.

It does seem that strong women tend to be understood by God alone, and He is their only real comforter.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer; and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort.
2 Corinthians 1:3-7 (NASB)

A Biblical Response

A person who struggles with pain from Fibromyalgia or any other chronic ailment can suffer from another major problem, a lack of hope. A lack of hope results when despite prayer, despite doctoring, despite doing all you can humanly do the problem and the pain remain. It is the belief things will never change.

The Lord's desire for you even in your painful condition is to focus first on Him, secondly on bringing Him glory, and thirdly to focus on others. The temptation is to focus only on the pain and gaining relief from it, but God has other plans! It is in His plans that you will find that blessed thing called hope!

There is hope in the fact that you can still live a victorious life as you are controlled by His Spirit and His Word rather than being controlled by your feelings. Despite how you may feel emotionally, like you are alone in this wilderness or like no one could possibly understand, the truth is unchangeable and the truth is that nothing will separate you from the Lord (Rom. 8:35-37; Jude 24). God is always keeping you close to Himself and He is keeping you as you are suffering with Fibromyalgia or other chronic pain. When you don't allow the emotions and the pain to control you, you are victorious. 

Don't misunderstand me as I say not to allow the pain to control you. I am not ignorant of the reality of chronic and debilitating pain. Seek medical help when it is available, that is your responsibility because your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit but don't allow the medical aspects to defeat you or control you. You may not find much hope or help in the medical community unless it comes in the form of powerful drugs that do nothing but muddle your thinking and make you feel doped up.

Realize that your hope and help comes from the Lord, it is His strength that will enable you to fulfill your daily responsibilities. You will have to learn to operate within the confines your pain places on you however, you can still accomplish some things each day. Focusing on His enabling will be more profitable than thinking of all you cannot do.

I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:12-13 (NASB)

When you think you cannot go on, you cannot get up, you cannot endure I encourage you to take those thoughts captive (1 Cor 10:13) and remind yourself of the truth. You can do what needs to be done through Christ who strengthens you for the tasks He puts before you. God does not ask us to do the impossible, He equips us to walk by faith believing that we can accomplish our duties by His power.

When you are tempted to fall into despair and self-pity remind yourself that God as allowed you to have Fibromyalgia when He could have prevented it. It is never outside of His control and neither is the pain you endure. Allowing this to be in your life is intentional and purposeful and He means to bring Himself glory through it in your life.

Adopt the attitude of Christ.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3 (NASB)

Use your ailment as a ministry, use it to do good, make it an opportunity to serve. Both Job of the Old Testament and Jesus Christ the Son of God used their sufferings to reach out to other people and meet them where they were at. Because Jesus is our Wonderful Counselor, we can trust that His pattern of life is an acceptable one for us too. 

I thought about ending this series by saying that I hope one day there will be a pain-free life for you, and as much as I wish there were no suffering in the world there will always be some. The truth is, I pray that you will find the Lord in the midst of your chronic pain and that you will learn to glorify Him there as you live overcoming Fibromyalgia by His power and strength.

Why Do I Have Fibromyalgia?

If I could answer this question medically, I could retire to my own tropical island somewhere in the South Pacific. Unfortunately, I don't have those answers but I do have the spiritual answers as to why you and so many others struggle and suffer with chronic pain of all types.

There is great benefit for you in suffering this pain. God is in the midst of working wonderful changes in your heart and life. This should bring you hope.

As you deal with chronic pain God is revealing your spiritual character to those around you. I know a woman who has battled chronic pain for decades, been in and out of casts and wheelchairs, and could be disabled from her physical pain and restrictions. She fights every day to honor God by how she conducts herself. No matter what shape she is in physically she aims to demonstrate godly character in the midst of it. It is not that she never gets down or sad, because she does. It is that she doesn't stay there. No matter what befalls her, she is always speaking of God's faithfulness and her trust in Him. This is encouraging to others around her and helps her live on the side of victory despite her circumstances.

Do you remember Paul and his thorn in the flesh (2 Cor 12:7-9)? Paul asked the Lord three times to remove it and God said, "No." Paul came to understand that it was more important to God that he demonstrate God's grace in the midst of his pain than it was for him to be free from the pain. God used the thorn (whatever it was) to keep Paul from sinning. In Paul's case, it was the sin of pride he was being protected from. What could God be protecting you from through Fibromyalgia? When you think of your affliction in this light, isn't it something to truly thank God for?

Another reason you are suffering with Fibromyalgia could be the avenue of ministry it gives you in the lives of others. Suffering in a God-glorifying manner makes a tremendous impact on other people! It gives you a kind of credibility that non-sufferers do not have. Ministering to other people while in the midst of your own struggles is a powerful statement of the power of God. I have another friend who has a chronic illness and despite her own pain and trials with it she runs a support group for others. Through the group she is able to talk about the sufficiency of God to meet her needs, His power, abundant grace and how she makes it through each day. This kind of message brings hope to others who need to be motivated and who also need to see that someone really is living in spite of their physical pain. It is very significant to see other people serving and ministering in spite of their own troubles.

We will wrap this up on Monday. 

Thoughts and Fibromyalgia

We are comprised of both material parts and immaterial parts. Your material parts (skin, organs, limbs) are the things that are affected by disease and stress. You immaterial parts  consist of every thing that cannot be touched or handled physically (mind, thoughts, beliefs, desires, emotions, feelings, soul, will). When your immaterial parts are affected due to an emotional event or trauma then your physical body responds as it is programmed to do. Your heart rate may become elevated, your may perspire, your breathing might increase, and other physical reactions will take place. How you respond to the difficulties in every day life will affect your body.

With the pain of Fibromyalgia, the goal must be to glorify God in your life in spite of how painful your muscle pain is. The more you grow spiritually, and the more you apply biblical principles to the issues and problems in your life you may find relief from some of the pain associated with Fibromyalgia. 

This is possible because as I said above your thoughts have a great impact on what happens in your body. When you are tense or fearful your body responds with physical tension (such as a tension headache). What then happens is a cascading effect as you sense the cycle beginning, and you then begin to fear the pain which creates more tension.

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NASB)

While I understand that the pain of Fibromyalgia does not originate in the thoughts, it can be exacerbated by the thought life. Taking every thought captive to obedience means learning to glorify God in your thoughts by replacing the fearful ones with faith and truth. It means to replace the self-pitying thoughts and beliefs with thoughts of thankfulness to God. Further, it means to begin to meditate on the sovereignty of God and what that means with respect to your suffering.

Understanding that a sovereign, loving God has allowed you to suffer with this pain might be a thought you will have to prayerfully adjust to. It is not easy to be thankful for pain, and it is not easy to accept that God has not only allowed it, but perhaps has brought it into your life.

""Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” Job 2:10b (NASB)

Just as it was with Job, God is in control of how much pain enters our lives. He has a purpose and plan for all of it with the ultimate goal being to conform us to the image and likeness of Christ.  In this sense, the pain is a good thing because it is a part of God's plan for your transformation (Phil 3:10). This is why what you do in the pain and what you do with the pain is so very important. Thanking God for the pain is one critical piece you will need to come to grips with.

Then begin to think about how you can fulfill the responsibilities God has placed in your life. The things you are called to do daily are also no mistake, they are a part of God's sovereign plan for you. He has enabled you to do what He has called you to do each day. Sometimes it means fighting through the pain with thanksgiving. What can you do today to show love and serve others rather than focus on your pain?

Fibromyalgia and the Glory of God

As I suspected, I have received an avalanche of commentary on this series of posts on Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain. Some has been positive and others..well...not so much. 

Let me say again, I understand the pain. I understand no one asks for this, and I understand that my posts may have upset you. I also understand you may not agree with me because your experience is different than what I am saying. However, truth is not defined by our experience. Truth is truth and our experience never triumphs over the truth of God's Word.

What is your daily goal? Is it to simply get through the day or to feel better? Is your goal to get rid of the pain? If so, I would ask you to consider that you are aiming at the wrong goal.

Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 (NASB)

Is it possible that God expects you to bring Him glory in the midst of your pain? As I read the Bible, I see that God clearly expects us to glorify Him in all other kinds of trials and suffering, so I can only conclude that there is no exception for chronic pain and Fibromyalgia.

Glorifying God in the midst of Fibro would be having a godly response to the pain. Look to the Psalms for help in understanding how godly men have done that in the past. Psalm 13 gives voice to the suffering of the Psalmist, asks God to intervene, and concludes with a declaration of trust and a commitment to respond rightly.

But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, Because He has dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 13:5-6 (NASB)

Other Psalms (77; 88) follow the same pattern, and each one helps us understand that our suffering is not unique (1 Cor 10:13) and that God is faithful to preserve us and help us to find hope in the faithfulness and promises of God.

I shall remember the deeds of the LORD; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will meditate on all Your work And muse on Your deeds.... You are the God who works wonders; You have made known Your strength among the peoples. Psalm 77:11-12, 14 (NASB)

God will give you the ability and the grace to renew your mind in this manner should you desire to think differently. How you respond to pain is a revelation of what is going on in your heart, and if as you look at your responses it becomes clear to you that they are not God honoring then changes must take place in your heart before there will be changes in your life. 

You must believe that it is possible for you to receive enough grace from God that will allow you function in a God-honoring way despite your pain and fatigue.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed; 2 Corinthians 9:8 (NASB)

Those aren't just words, they are truth! This means that even though you hurt, you can still love others- you can still serve. Having chronic pain or Fibromyalgia does not exempt us from being His hands, His mouthpiece, His feet, and to show His love to others. Of course the way you do this will look different than the way that a non-sufferer does. You may not have the stamina or physical ability that another woman has but that doesn't mean you sit back and do nothing.

You still must strive to put the needs of others before yourself, you are still called to love others and some suggestions for how to do that would be: 

• Offer to pray for others. Get your name on the prayer list at your church and become a woman of prayer. Pray at home, or host a prayer group at your home. If possible, go to the prayer group outside of your home. 
• Send cards of encouragement to sick people or those who are also suffering and can't get out. Many shut-ins feel very alone and cut off from their church family. 
• Offer to do light office work at your child's school. Having photocopying, organizing, filing, or other light-duty tasks are always appreciated by a busy secretary.
• Prepare or organize meals for new mom's, sick, or the elderly.

These are but a few ideas that you can put into practice to obey the important command of the Lord Jesus Christ, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ Matthew 22:39 (NASB)

We will continue on tomorrow.

Living Well with Fibromyalgia

I have had the pleasure of ministering to many women who have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Their numbers are increasing dramatically as the years go by. A little more than five years ago such a diagnosis was rare and many who were given this diagnosis were considered to be mentally unstable. This is because it is a catch-all diagnosis given when no medical reason exists for the muscle and connective tissue pain a person experiences in varying intensities. A person is diagnosed with Fibro when all the blood tests come back in the normal ranges and no other reason for the pain can be found medically.

An overwhelming majority of the people diagnosed with Fibro live their lives ruled by the pain they experience. Overcomers are few and far between, and even Christians tend to be defeated by this malady. That does not have to describe you.

First, the hard truths. There is benefit in pain, even the chronic gnawing pain you may suffer with. There is also benefit in pain relief- more than just in the physical and emotional realm. Both of these truths are possible for the believer in Christ Jesus, and impossible for those who are unregenerate.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 (NASB)

If you have your Bible handy, take a look at the verses that precede the one I cited for you. The context is one of suffering and Paul outlines for us how the whole creation is groaning in misery as it waits to be fully adopted when the times reach their fulfillment. Everything in this world is yearning to be set free from the bondage of suffering.

Our suffering is participation in the sufferings of Christ Jesus. 

that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; Philippians 3:10 (NASB)

Part of our identity in Christ is suffering, but it is not our entire identity. The problem with chronic pain is that we tend to allow it to define us. It, rather than Christ, becomes the ruler of our lives. Pain, rather then the Scriptures consumes our thoughts, and Self rather than Christ becomes our god. Pain is not who you are, who you are is a child of the King.

The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. Romans 8:16-17 (NASB)

The reality of the situation is that our sufferings confirm that we do belong to Christ! God has not forgotten you in your pain but He does use the pain of Fibromyalgia in your life and as you grow and change into Christ-likeness there is benefit in your life and the lives of others around you.

This pain has a purpose. God is working in an intentional way in you and through you. He is putting His power on display in your life as you learn to deal biblically with pain and most importantly, He is using you to bring glory to Himself.

Continued tomorrow.

The Chronic Pain of Fibromyalgia

Last week I began blogging on chronic pain and living with the results of it. I told you I would next tackle the newest catch-all diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, so here we go!

Because words matter, I want to be sure we are of the same mind when it comes to what Fibromyalgia is. It is important that we are operating under the same definition of the term so that no misunderstanding occurs. Fibromyalgia is a term that the medical profession created based on the reported symptoms of the sufferer. There are no tests for Fibromyalgia. Any blood testing that is done is to rule out diseases that have the same symptoms as Fibro does.

The term "Algia" means pain. Anytime there is pain we assume there is a problem, and this is a normal assumption. "Fibro" is a reference to the connective tissues of the body, and "My" means muscle. So "FibroMy" means connective tissue muscle. Putting the three terms together we get a term that means connective tissue (and) muscle pain. Women are more affected than men by Fibromyalgia.

The difficulty with Fibromyalgia is the pain is of a chronic nature. Some people have pain all day every day, others have it for intense periods and then are relatively pain-free. Another group of people will only have flare ups of pain that seem to come from nowhere.

A very interesting thing about Fibromyalgia is that there is no disease process associated with it. In other words, it doesn't cause permanent damage to any part of the body. It is something that is felt or experienced with no diagnosable, scientifically proven medical cause.

Certainly, when a person is experiencing chronic pain of any kind a medical exam is critical. The symptoms that accompany Fibromyalgia can also be present in the disease process so it is not safe to just assume that your symptoms are not a part of a larger medical problem. Many people are "diagnosed" with Fibromyalgia because tests have proven there is no disease present within the body's systems that would provide a medical reason for the chronic pain they are experiencing.

There is currently no proven medical theory as to where it comes from. There is no proven evidence of disease in the body of someone who has Fibromyalgia. In one sense it is comforting to know that the pain is not due to cancer or RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) or some other disease. On the other hand, because there is no medical proof of a disease many people are referred to psychiatrists for treatment of the by-products of living with chronic pain such as fear, anxiety, depression, and anger.

As I researched numerous materials and website in preparation for writing this blog series I was struck as I came across the same information over and over. Many of the same theories for the causes for Fibro are held for depression, anxiety, and what is called chemical imbalance in the brain. If you have read this blog for any length of time you would know that as of this writing there is no medically verifiable (scientific) proof for any of the stuff you hear on television or read in a magazine about what these "mental illnesses" really are or how to treat them. It is all theoretical and (gee what a surprise) they all involve taking drugs to "manage the symptoms!" Never mind that the science is junk, the studies are based on flawed data sets, and the pharmaceutical companies are making money hand over fist on the misery of people who are desperate for help... It was no shock to me that big pharma has its hands in the "treatment" of Fibromyalgia too. 

You won't hear me say that your body doesn't hurt, or that it is all in your head. What I am saying is that I am not sure it is wise to ingest drugs that affect your brain when there is nothing medically wrong with you. In addition, none of the treatments for this problem have been proven to be beneficial in every case. The decision to take medication for Fibro is one only you can make. My goal in this series of posts is going to be how you can live and live well in spite of the pain you suffer with.

I have a personal stake in this- I am a person who lives with chronic pain, and if Fibromyalgia exists, I have it. Since I contracted Lyme Disease (medically verified) a few years ago, the pain has become more intense so believe me when I say I understand what you live with. That is my way of asking you to save the hate mail and not to accuse me of not understanding how much you hurt.

Even though there is no outward sign of disease you may be in a place where your life has become dominated by the pain you live with. Your friends and family may not understand, you may believe there is no hope for you. I am sure not going to tell you to just "buck up" or to get over it. Each one who suffers with chronic pain addresses it differently. What works for me may not work for you, so again, I am going to help you to see how you can live well and glorify God in spite of the pain you feel.

Stay tuned, tomorrow we begin the journey. 

Finding Purpose in Chronic Pain

Incline Your ear, O LORD, and answer me; For I am afflicted and needy.  Psalm 86:1 (NASB)

It an inescapable truth that to some degree every one of us lives with pain. Pain is a result of the fall of man (Gen 3) and the entrance of sin into the world. What a different life we would have had if Adam and Eve would have obeyed God and not tasted the fruit from the Tree of Life! That one act, a brief moment in time, has changed everything for God's finest creation, mankind.

Because of that act of disobedience one of the greatest joys, childbirth, is terribly painful. We also feel the pain of degradation as our bodies break down as we age. We experience heartache as others sin against us, and we hurt others for the same reason. However, I do believe the most wearing kind of pain is chronic pain because it threatens to take over a person's life.  

For I am afflicted and needy, And my heart is wounded within me.  Psalm 109:22 (NASB)

Emotionally, chronic pain can do a real number on a person. Extended suffering of any kind quickly becomes difficult to deal with, and when the pain eliminates or severely restricts the lifestyle of the suffer the heart begins to reveal what lurks within. Anger, bitterness, rage, and depression are all common byproducts of chronic pain. The truth is, it doesn't have to be that way.

If you suffer from chronic pain may I ask you what you believe to be true about your state? Do you believe that the pain you live with is for your good? Too many women wrongly believe that chronic pain and suffering are God's way of punishing them for some sinful act. While we do experience the consequences of our deeds, God is not in the business of punishing believers. God intends to bring good out of your pain, the good that comes from becoming more like the Lord Jesus Christ.  

It is good for me that I was afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes. Psalm 119:71 (NASB)

There is no greater good than being fashioned into the likeness of Christ. Therefore, you can be thankful for what God is doing in you even as you live with the pain. I know some reading this will be very angry at my statement and believe I am insane for suggesting they be thankful for unrelenting pain and misery. However, I am not the originator of the thought!

always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; Ephesians 5:20 (NASB)

in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)

Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name. Hebrews 13:15 (NASB)

Are you thankful for everything in your life, including the pain that He allows you to live with? If not, you must examine your heart in light of the Scriptures and repent. To be anything other than thankful truly is sinful. I understand it is hard and the command may seem impossible to obey! Please know that I am not saying this with a hard heart...my desire is that we become obedient to the Lord that He might be glorified in our lives.

You have come to the place where you believe that since God has brought you to this place in life it is purposeful and intentional.  God makes no mistakes, and there are no accidents. Everything He does and allows in our lives has a purpose and it all adds up to bring glory to His name.

Dealing with Chronic Pain

How a person deals with chronic pain is the result of what they are thinking, believing, and desiring in their heart. When I meet with a counselee who deals with this issue, I want to know several things:

One of the first things I may ask about would be their goal in the counseling process. Knowing their ultimate goal in counseling will reveal their heart to me and sometimes to them too. From their answer I will learn if their goal is to remove the pain or to learn how to redeem the pain.

This is a critical piece in ministering to someone because unless the two of us are in the same boat in the counseling process we sure won't be paddling in the same direction! I have to help my counselee understand that her pain may never get better...it may never go away. I have to help her to see that if that is how it works out, that is a good thing. I can say that because I am confident that we have a sovereign God who is in charge of every aspect of our suffering. He knows the length of it, the intensity of it, if and when it will end, and He knows what He intends to accomplish in it. Additionally, my God will glorify Himself in the midst of it.

This is why I am to help her develop a Christ-centered view of the pain she bears. None of us who are in Christ suffers alone. Jesus presently shares in our sufferings and He endured more than you or I will ever be able to comprehend.

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation.    1 Peter 4:12-13 (NASB)

Please understand that your pain has a purpose in God's plan for your life. While you may wonder why God is allowing you to be afflicted this way, you may rest assured that He has a perfect plan for your pain. He intends to use your pain to bring glory and honor to Himself.

according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. Philippians 1:20 (NASB)

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed; 2 Corinthians 9:8 (NASB)

God intends to us the pain as a tool to reshape you. He intends to make you more like the Lord Jesus Christ. When Romans 8:28,29 are applied to the chronic pain that some people live with it becomes crystal clear that the "all things" that Paul speaks of literally means all things. Everything! Every single thing! My friend Pastor Bruce Roeder says that "all means all" in this verse. 

God is completely in control of all the suffering we will endure. If He were not, we would quickly be crushed by the weight of our sorrow and pain. He allows as much pain as it takes to accomplish the changes He desires to make in your heart. This too demands that you have faith. You must believe that God is in control of the pain and furthermore, you must believe that God's control is good. His control must be enough for you, despite how you feel about it.  Can you accept that truth or do you find yourself balking at that truth? If you do not believe that the pain you live with is for your good, you will fail miserably at glorifying God in it.

Believing God is good while in the midst of chronic pain is not easy, but it most certainly can be done. The Lord promises that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! You must learn to take every thought captive and continue to grow in grace and truth.

More tomorrow! 

Where Is God In My Pain?

A person who is suffering with pain may wrongly believe they are alone, that no one can understand what they are living through and enduring every day.

We suffer today because of the Fall (Gen 3) and the disobedience of the first man and woman. Suffering is a part of the curse pronounced upon all creation and since that moment, suffering has been a part of life. We are not alone in our suffering!

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body. Romans 8:18-23 (NASB)

Everything that has been created is groaning under the weight of sin, and like us, it desires to be set free from "this body of death." It is important that you realize that your suffering is not a surprise to God. 

The biblical truth is that Jesus is intimately aware of all that we suffer, moment by moment and day by day.

But we do see Him who was made for a little while lower than the angels, namely, Jesus, because of the suffering of death crowned with glory and honor, so that by the grace of God He might taste death for everyone. For it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things, and through whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to perfect the author of their salvation through sufferings. For both He who sanctifies and those who are sanctified are all from one Father; for which reason He is not ashamed to call them brethren, saying, “I WILL PROCLAIM YOUR NAME TO MY BRETHREN, IN THE MIDST OF THE CONGREGATION I WILL SING YOUR PRAISE.” And again, “I WILL PUT MY TRUST IN HIM.” And again, “BEHOLD, I AND THE CHILDREN WHOM GOD HAS GIVEN ME.”

Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives. For assuredly He does not give help to angels, but He gives help to the descendant of Abraham. Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted.
Hebrews 2:9-18 (NASB)

Jesus experienced every human suffering you and I do- and more. He suffered because we suffer, He hurt because we hurt, He grieved because we grieve... He has gone before us in suffering and pain that we might be encouraged in suffering and pain. He is also the answer to our suffering and pain.

The suffering and death of Jesus Christ on the cross has made it possible for our miserable pain and suffering to one day end. It has also made it possible for us to endure pain and suffering in the present. You see, the joy that was set before Christ (Heb 12:2) was our freedom from the curses of Genesis 3! Freedom from pain for all eternity in our future life!

This reality must become the lens through which we endure our present sufferings. Our pain today while not pleasant is purposeful. God is working in the midst of every painful episode you have today. Sadly, we disbelieve these truths because our experiences tend to dictate our reality. We believe that if something feels bad, it must be bad. If something hurts me, it cannot be good!

This is entirely backwards from how the Christian is to respond as it is unbiblical. Regardless of how something looks or feels to us, God's Word always trumps our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. Scripture must become our measuring stick, we must search the Word and allow those truths to reframe our painful experiences.

The unbelievable reality is: pain has a purpose in your life and it's purpose is good.

Come back tomorrow for more on this important topic of aspects of chronic pain. 

The Heart of Chronic Pain

Why has my pain been perpetual And my wound incurable, refusing to be healed? Will You indeed be to me like a deceptive stream With water that is unreliable? Jeremiah 15:18 (NASB)

Your thoughts about pain as well as your personal history of pain will also factor into how you respond and react to it. One person who has lived with pain for a period of time will be emotionally worn down from it, another will view it as a challenge to be overcome. Some will respond with depressive thoughts, and still others will remain upbeat and optimistic throughout.

I am often asked to counsel women who are in chronic pain, and I see the effects of it on lives every day.

Linda, who has a progressive form of neuropathy and works in spite of being in terrible pain every day. Carmen, who has been diagnosed with Fibromyaligia perseveres through each day as a pre-school teacher; and Jean, who has had Multiple Sclerosis for decades and walks with two arm canes.


Like everything else, pain will reveal what is going on in the heart of a person. If the heart of the sufferer is on themselves rather than on God, how they respond to the affliction will be very different than when the heart is focused on glorifying God in spite of the pain.

The heart that is fixed on "self" will make relief from pain its focus. The person's whole identity can become wrapped up in their pain and seeking relief. They live life through the perspective of being a victim. It would be common to hear them utter phrases like those in the box.

As difficult as it is to understand a person who is focused on relief from pain has become an idolater. It is idolatry because there is no room for anything in the heart other than "relief" and seeking relief becomes the object of worship. There is little to no room for worship of God in their heart.

It would be highly unusual for a person to knowingly seek out this type of idolatry, but remember, the heart is deceptive and wicked (Jer. 17:9) and often we deceive ourselves. A person's thoughts, beliefs and desires will reveal what the heart is focusing on.

If you are a chronic pain sufferer, I would challenge you to prayerfully examine your heart in light of Scripture. What thoughts do you think with respect to the pain you live with? Do you believe that God does not know how much you hurt? Do you desire relief more than you desire to glorify God in spite of your pain?

If you now understand that you have become an idolater there is hope for change! Jesus has come to forgive sin, and your release from the sin of idolatry begins with confession and repentance.

Tomorrow we will continue looking at this subject and try and answer the question, Where is God in My Pain?

Chronic Pain

But I am afflicted and in pain; May Your salvation, O God, set me securely on high.
Psalm 69:29 (NASB)

I suspect this group of blog posts will have an avalanche of hits. This is a topic I have long deferred blogging about; chronic pain and Fibromyalgia (that comes next) are two very prominent problems for which people seek counseling.

No one wants to live in pain. Our society spends billions of dollars annually on methods of avoiding pain of all kinds. We refuse to have emotional or physical pain continue for more than an hour if we can help it! At the first sign of a headache many will run for the over the counter pain reliever and expect ingesting 2 or 3 pills to make it stop. When their pain persists for another hour they become cranky and out of sorts and will sometimes take more pain reliever in an attempt to rid themselves of the pain.

When over the counter pain relievers fail or only serve to dull the pain, people turn to their physician for help. They ask for something stronger, longer lasting, or more effective than what they have been taking. If that does not take away the pain they are referred to a Pain Specialist, a doctor who specializes in managing chronic pain of all kinds. Often, a visit to another kind of clinician is also arranged to help the patient "deal with their depression" or other emotional response living this way has brought about.

In short order, many patients become medicated zombies whose lives are ruled by what time the next pill is to be taken, and the management of the multiple side effects of all the medications being ingested. In some cases there seems to be no option except to take many medications to lower the pain to a manageable level for working or functioning in daily life.

While the medical profession is making gains in many areas, the causes of chronic pain are still often elusive. It is not as easy to understand as it looks! There are multiple systems of the body in play when a person has pain. The feelings of pain are realized when the sensory nerves in the various parts of the body send a message to your brain that you are hurt. If I am hit on the hand with a stick, the sensory nerves in my hand would send a message into my spine and my spine would relay that message to my brain. My brain would get the message, "OUCH!" and tell me to move away from the source of the pain.

The realization of pain is not only physical, it is also realized emotionally. You and I could both be hit by the same stick in an identical manner and we would feel it differently; we would respond differently.

There are many things that go into how and why we respond to pain. What was the response of your parents when you were hurt? When my boys were little I didn't gush over their falls and such unless they were broken or bleeding. I wanted them to understand that they should get up, dust off, and go on if possible. Of course, I kissed their owies but I did not make a big deal over them.

In some cultures and families, pain is looked at as a sign of weakness, and children (especially males) are brought up to deny they have pain of any kind.

Your thoughts about pain as well as your personal history of pain will also factor into how you respond and react to it. One person who has lived with pain for a period of time will be emotionally worn down from it, another will view it as a challenge to be overcome. Some will respond with depressive thoughts, and still others will remain upbeat and optimistic throughout.

What is not elusive is the effects of pain on the lives of the people who suffer. That is where we will pick up tomorrow. 

Doin' the Dirty Work

But now there are many members, but one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; or again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, it is much truer that the members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary; 1 Corinthians 12:20-1 Corinthians 12:22 (NASB)

The work of a Biblical Counselor is not a glorious part of ministry. In fact, I would contend that it is a rather lowly part of the body in light of some of the other "members" responsibilities and tasks.  Biblical Counselors typically meet the lowest of the low from a societal viewpoint. We are charged with loving the unlovable people and all the "problem children" in the family. I have had many people say to me over the years that they cannot understand how I do what I do and enjoy it.

It is true that the ministry of one-to-one intensive discipleship is often focused on the weaker members of our body. We are often given the cases that no one else can solve, or we are sent members that have benefited from months or years of wise counsel and have not made any lasting shift in their thoughts, beliefs, or desires.

These are often the most frustrating people to deal with because many times these folks have sat under not only excellent preaching and teaching, but also have consumed hours and hours of the Pastor's time in some sort of counseling with little result to show for it. It is at this point that the majority of Pastors will suggest the person seek professional help and send them to the local therapist or psychologist. This is exactly the wrong move to make.

I am not going to judge the motives for such a suggestion when it is made, even though I have personally seen Pastors who are just anxious to wash their hands of such people do so. I have also seen others who consider referring them to a secular source a good move. In reality, they are throwing away these people and subjecting them to a humanistic system based on the disease model. They are placing their trust in an anti-God, anti-Bible system that is designed to remove a need for God and a belief in God from our lives.

It is the responsibility of the church to meet these hurting souls where they are at which is why every church worth its salt has a ministry of one-to-one discipleship (Biblical Counseling). It is not the place or the responsibility of the medical or psychological professionals to be dabbling in the souls of men, it is the job of the church and her people.

This is why church leaders need to take seriously the call to train their own people or to provide the means to have them trained to counsel biblically. We live in a unique time in history where virtually everything is available on line or as distance training, so there is not always a need for people to travel to be trained. What is needed, is that they are trained. 

God has blessed the people in our ministry as we have had numerous opportunities to be a part of the heart change process in the lives of people multiple times over the years. It is not easy work, often it is very difficult, very time consuming, and in some cases it seems as though you are working all day and all night too! But this is a vital part of the ministry of the church, and it is soul-care. We are each charged with the very same things in the Bible.

I understand the fear factor, and the need to be somewhat educated. You will have to work hard, and you may be required to step out of your comfort zone.

so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 1 Corinthians 12:25 (NASB)

We are to care for one another and there are just times it requires we get a little dirty as we go after a wandering Christian. It is a dirty job, but someone as to do it! Will you?

Rubbing the Jagged Edges

"...he made me into a polished arrow"


Isaiah 49:2 contains this portion of Scripture. The events of today in combination with this verse got me to thinking about the adversities of life and God’s purposes in them.

The goal for many of us is to get through life as unscathed and trouble free as possible, when that is not God’s intention or plan at all for His children. Think of all of God we would miss without adversity, without hardship, and without persecution.

Our faith and trust in God grows deep in times of trial. The roots of our belief and understanding grow deep and strong into our hearts and create anchors that are immoveable. Some of the best times of growth in my spiritual life have been when life has been at its worst. When times were tough and I was completely uncertain of everything in this life and how it would unfold is when the “Who” of God became real.

Do you know what I mean by the “Who of God?” Until we have cause to grab hold of all we have learned and put in our minds about God and His character it is all ethereal and unformed. There is little substance that we can wrap our arms around. But when those harsh waves of adversity crash into life we begin to experience God. We begin to “see” who He is and receive in ways that defy words the things God promises to us as we believe.

Without these things in life we would remain unpolished, our edges both outer and inner would remain jagged. Adversity brings change on some level. It brings us changes of the heart (the inner man) because we receive things that we don’t want, or we are denied things that we do want and we have to make a decision to respond righteously. This causes change as what we have learned in the abstract now must become real to us in application. When we make that transfer, change takes place.

God’s polishing tool brings us pain at times, literal, physical pain. Illness, disease, and suffering are all tools of the Almighty in shaping us into His image. He will stop at nothing to create in us what He has foreordained. There is nothing that says I have to like this or enjoy it, but on every level I must persevere through it. 

These times are a part of living in God's College of Sanctification. When the adversity gets to the level that I am concerned that I might not make it through, then I know that the initial exploratory heart surgery is over and God owns enough of me to use His scalpel to cut to the very core of my being.

The result of the polishing process yields a beautiful, crystal clear, and brilliant stone in the end. That stone will be your life and you will one day exchange it for another stone that you will lay before your Lord as you worship before Him.

Living Crucified

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me ” (Galatians 2:20).

One of the results of understanding grace is that many of the things that used to mean so much to me and things I used to cling to suddenly don’t mean as much to me. As we mature in Christ it is easier to let them pass us by without reaction and without response.

There is an inevitable void that develops in the flesh when we first start willingly setting our fleshly and worldly desires aside. This is an intentional decision on the part of the believer. Hopefully it is done prayerfully and thoughtfully as we count the cost of what this means. 

Unless we are immersing ourselves in Him and His Word many other fleshly desires come marching in to swiftly fill that void. Sometimes they are new things; a computer game, television program, or some other distraction. Sometimes they are old sinful “friends” that we thought we were rid of; habits and lusts that were once conquered or maybe just set aside in favor of a new distraction.

Often we use these things in attempt to make ourselves feel valued and worthwhile. These things don’t have to be necessarily bad, they can be as benign as working or exercising or a sport or other activity you enjoy that makes you “feel good.” However, they are misplacing what really matters, love and devotion to Christ.

He must be the centerpiece of all we do, the Master of our thoughts, the owner of our souls, and the love of our lives. Until He is in practice as well as in proclamation all of these things, we will continue to struggle and hurt and kick and scream in failure. 

He demands to own all of who we are because He paid for all we are! He did not only purchase your hands and feet He purchased your mind, soul, and most importantly your heart. 

Surrender to His loving yoke, and His loving ownership and give in to His possession of you- all of you.

Choosing Counsel Wisely Part 3

This is the third part of this series on what to look for when choosing wise counsel.  A Biblical Counselor does intensive discipleship, therefore she must be a person of godly character for she speaks into the life of the person she is ministering to.

Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1 (NASB)

She should be an example in her speech; truthful and kind, without the foul language that is so common today (Ephesians 4:25- 29). 

Her conduct should be fitting for a Christian. She should be virtuous, faithful to her husband or faithful in abstaining from sexual immorality of any kind. She should demonstrate inward and outward discipline, and be winsome and gracious in her dealings with people.

These qualities are so important when choosing counsel for yourself, I cannot state that strong enough!

A wise counselor will be a good listener. This may not mean she sits quietly while you talk on and on, but it should mean that she listens with understanding.

A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, But a man of understanding draws it out.                  Proverbs 20:5 (NASB)

Listening not only to what is being said, but having the ability to discern the heart level thoughts, beliefs, and desires behind what is being said.

On the lips of the discerning, wisdom is found. Proverbs 10:13a (NASB)

Once she discerns what is really being communicated, a wise counselor will be equipped to ask probing questions that will help her counselee see her thoughts, beliefs, and desires of the heart with new and spiritual eyes.  She will assist you with understanding how the truth of God's Word is applied to your heart and life, and she will lead you in the paths of righteousness because that is what glorifies God.

When interviewing a potential counselor, ask her what her goals are for you. If she is worth her weight in salt she will be able to tell you that he goal is to teach you how to glorify God in your heart and life, to experience heart change for life change.

Anyone can give advice....seek wise counsel instead.

Choosing Counsel Wisely Part 2

Before the New Year holiday I wrote part one of this posting on choosing counsel wisely.  Here is a brief recap of the highest points of the blog. 

• The first and most important element is that the counsel be centered on the Word of God, the Bible. 2 Timothy 3:16 
• It is critical that the problem you bring to the counseling table is defined biblically.  1 Corinthians 2:12-16
• Your biblical counselor will be willing to tell you the hard things, to point out the areas of your life that are being affected by your sinful actions and she will help you to understand the critical role the heart plays in your problems. Jeremiah 17:9 
• The person you choose to minister to you should demonstrate humility as a primary character quality. Philippians 2

Anyone you choose to allow to speak into your life ought to exemplify godly character.  She should be tenderhearted and compassionate toward you.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15 (NASB)

A "professional" counselor is taught not to become involved with their client but to keep it strictly sterile so as not to cause transference.  A Biblical Counselor is not bound by such nonsense and is encouraged to disciple in love and to develop a relationship with their counselee/disciple. This is why I have the freedom to weep with my counselee's sorrows and joys. As a point aside, there is a fine and necessary line between sympathy and empathy and frankly, I tend to go more toward empathy myself.  I find that many counselee's tend toward self-pity and it is better to empathize with their situation than encourage sinful feelings that feed self-pity.

Because what a Biblical Counselor does is intensive discipleship is exactly the reason why she must be a person of godly character for she speaks into the life of the person she is ministering to.

Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1 (NASB)

Paul did not set himself up as a perfect man (Phil. 3:12) but as one who was reaching for the goal of Christlikeness. He was honest about his difficulties and his failures as he walked through life and yet he had the courage to tell others to follow his example. Paul was relentless in his pursuit of Christ and being conformed into His image and was what I consider to be a "real" or authentic Christian. 

This is what I personally strive toward. I believe a good biblical counselor will be honest with those she serves about her own spiritual growth and change as well as her failures. There are no perfect Christians on earth and Paul encourages us to be imperfect examples for one another; providing examples of progressive sanctification as we are pursuing righteousness and holiness in our own lives. This is what Paul modeled for the church. A good biblical counselor will be a living example of growing in Christlikeness through the ups and downs of daily living. Oh how difficult this is!

She should be an example in her speech; truthful and kind, without the foul language that is so common today.

Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE OF YOU WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another. BE ANGRY, AND YET DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:25- 29 (NASB)

Her conduct should be fitting for a Christian. She should be virtuous, faithful to her husband or faithful in abstaining from sexual immorality of any kind. She should demonstrate inward and outward discipline, be winsome and gracious in her dealings with people. 

Whew this is a mighty tall order for a human being, a sinful one at that! I am thankful that once again Paul encourages the encourager with these words:

Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 (NASB)

I am going to continue with this same thread tomorrow.