When Your Shame is Your Honor

So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved. Romans 1:24-27 (NASB) 

We have been observing the "Occupy" events with some curiosity. While this is not going to be a political statement of any kind (although I assure you I have an opinion) I wanted to comment on some of the things I see taking place in the theater of the Occupy movement. 

Sexual assaults, theft, vandalism, homicide, graffiti, public urination and defecation, destruction of private and personal property are just some of the reported incidents taking place among those who are occupying these tent cities that have sprung up all over the country. 

However, this weekend something I saw really put me over the edge. It was an article about how the pornography folks are capitalizing on this by pitching a tent in the middle of a protest camp and filming a gay porn flick. Combining this most recent event with other reports of promiscuity in these camps I was compelled to reflect on the Romans 1 passage above. 

The passage is evidence of the downward spiral of society when God turns people over to the wicked desires of the heart. The phrase "God abandoned them" strikes terror in my heart, for I cannot imagine anything more frightening than that. This phrase is actually a judicial term that means that "God gave them up"- He surrenders them to their lust and desires of the heart to do what it is they want to do. He removes any desire for restraint, He counts them as loss. 

It is clear to me that there are those in our society who have become filled with every kind of wickedness and depravity in their heart, and are now acting out in ways that once upon a time would have been abhorrent to the average American. There is no new sin under the sun of course, but what continues to astonish me is the acceptance of depravity in the public realm. 

Women who are adulteresses, strippers and common whores used to be secretive about their harlotry. They would hide their faces in shame from the general public. These days it is another "community." Homosexuals and so-called transgendered persons are also lauded as brave and courageous for their activities. There are reality television programs where men and women select their mate from a house full of "dates" and promote gross immorality as each "date" is given a trial run sexually before a decision is made to pledge their "love" for that person in a prime time event. 

What Scripture says about us as a people is frightening: 

And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful... Romans 1:28-32 (NASB)

Where is the outcry against such immoral activities? Where are those with common decency in the media? Instead of condemning such filth they applaud and promote it and society eats it up like poisoned plums. More to the point, where is the church? Several religions have come out in support of all these activities and lifestyle choices. There have been denominational splits over the position some church leaders have taken.

and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.  Romans 1:32 (NASB) 

Where is the outcry of the Reformed and Regenerated? The silence from the people of God is in most cases deafening. Have we lost our collective voice or are we too intimidated by their rage to confront their sin? Has the Church gone soft on sin and determined to be passive and neither approve or disapprove in order to keep its members? Perhaps if we call it "a mistake" or an "error in judgement" we can fool ourselves into thinking God doesn't care if we are involved in this fight or not. If so, the Church is only fooling herself.

Those to claim to be the Church had better represent Jesus Christ, and represent Him righteously. 

For we (Elder's)  are God’s fellow workers; you (Church) are God’s field, God’s building...each man’s (Elder's) work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work. 1 Cor. 3:9,13 (NASB) 

In other words, how have the Elders of the Church built up the church? Have they built with truth and righteousness or have they built with mealy mouthed doctrines of men? It is one or the other...it cannot be both...Despite any protestations to the contrary, when your shame is your honor there is no place for God in your life or in your church. 

Unwilling Leadership

Several times a year a woman will come for counseling because her husband refuses to lead in the home. Her complaints center around things like he won't help with the finances, he won't discipline the children, he won't make leadership decisions for the family.

She is very frustrated and angry with him because no amount of gentle prodding or suggestions have helped. He has not picked up the clue phone, despite its constant loud jangle in his ear.

What a wife can do in such circumstances is first to pray that God would give her a quiet and content heart with her husband. Dissatisfaction breeds discontent, and where there is discontent anger and bitterness grow.

One question I ask is if she has willingly placed herself under the authority of her husband (Eph. 5:22-24). What I have seen in many of these marital cases is that the husband has tried to lead in the past, he has tried to make decisions and discipline the children and the wife refuses to follow his lead! Often she badgers him and reminds him of his failures in past leadership. She countermands each of his decisions, questioning and berating him until he gives up and does it her way. This sort of critical spirit will lead a man to give up.

A wife must encourage her husband to reclaim his rightful leadership position in the marriage and the home, despite her fears about his abilities to do so. One way she can do this is to consult him in all matters and tell him, "This is a suggestion as to how we could handle this, but we can do whatever you think is best." He may refuse to make decisions at first, but over time as he sees your willingness to follow his lead he may begin to reassert his leadership.

In spite of such actions the husband may still choose to abdicate his God-given position and responsibility. In such a case the wife will have to make the decisions that are the wisest and the most biblical course of action. Even when a man refuses to lead, a wife can still glorify God in her life, and respond in ways that honor both God and her husband (1 Peter 3:4-5).

Another question I ask a wife is if she prays for her husband regularly. Praying the prayers of the Bible is a wonderful way to begin if you don't know how to pray for him. A passage like Colossians 1:9-14 would be a place to start. You can even substitute his name for the pronoun where appropriate. Pray Ephesians 5:23 for leadership, 1 Peter 2:2 and 3:18 for him to develop a deep desire for godly things.

Consider this, does your husband know how to lead? So few men are taught to be godly men and godly leaders as they are growing up. With so many female only households there is no male influence in the lives of boys these days. Boys are not taught how to be men so as you pray for your husband, ask God to bless him with a godly man to come into his world and teach him how to lead his family. One excellent book that I suggest is The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott. It is a wonderful primer on the subject and the book we most often use in our counseling center for this purpose.

There is much more on this subject than I could ever cover in the blog... To close this topic for today I want to remind you wives, regardless of your husband's response to the challenge of leadership you are responsible   to love and respect your man. You can still do both of these things and God expects you to! Continue to be his friend, lover, and companion to the degree he will let you. Be a loving and submissive wife and helpmeet and God will be honored and glorified in your life.

The Blessings of Hardships

"we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance..." Romans 5:3 (ESV)


I don't know anyone who clamors for hardship or difficulty in life. Most of us want to get through our days skating pleasantly along on the smooth surface of ease. when we sense hard times in the wind we immediately begin to ask God to take them away and restore us to peaceful tranquility.

I would count myself among those who have uttered such prayers. I dislike trouble as much as the next person does but I maintain that it is in our hardships that God does His very best work on our hearts.

Those times when life is just so hard are what bring us back to our Bible reading and frequent times of prayer. We desire that closeness with the Lord and want to take comfort in the words of Scripture, knowing that He is always at the ready to hear us. Sometimes, we chastise ourselves because we realize it takes such trials to bring us back to that place of dependency.

we so often humbled in hardships. They cause us to look within and it seems that only then can we discern exactly how far we have wandered off the path of righteousness. I think there are those who are amazed as they look back and realize with grief and sorrow the crooked paths that lay behind them. Paths that are often marked by pride as they thought they were oh so smart in their own eyes. Paths that have ruin and destruction along the borders from relationships they have damaged, and opportunities lost for glorifying God.

Humility is a blessing that comes from difficulties in life that place us under so much pressure we think we cannot bear up under them. The strain that accompanies them leads us to cry out for mercy and help from the Almighty. We are humbled as a result of this. We recognize how foolish we have been to attempt to work out our own plans and sidestep those God has for us. Our hearts are opened up and we are blessed to see the muck and mire that our selfish, prideful hearts contain; areas that we so carefully attempt to blockade from being exposed to the Light.

Oh what blessings come from difficulties! I see in myself a much greater appreciation for the Word and its guiding force and hand in changing my heart after such storms have passed. I am grateful for everything my life contains in those times. I see so clearly the mercy and grace that God has lavished on me, and I see His infinite patience with my stubborn foolishness. A time of thanksgiving bursts forth in my spirit and I cannot help but to proclaim his goodness!

Rejoice in your  hardships and be encouraged in your difficulties for God is hard at work in the chambers of your soul. He is painstakingly removing the imperfections from your heart and creating places of worship and thanksgiving as you are being transformed by the renewing of your mind.

10 Things For Which I am Thankful

1) I continue to revel and marvel at the grace of God extended to me at the cross. The cross is my greatest blessing. 

2) Our counseling center allows me to minister in person to people who are hurting. By God's grace we have served many people this year. 

3) Our local church allows us to operate out of the building at no cost to us. Their generosity toward us has been outstanding and we are very blessed to be associated with the wonderful preaching and teaching ministry there. 

4) The blog is gaining faithful readers every week. The goal of this blog has been to educate and minister to women around the world with truth and the application of biblical principles to the problems of life. 

5) I have been blessed to connect with other biblical counselors through the organizations I am associated with, and as a result, many of the blogs have been promoted outside of my normal reading audience. This is not for my  personal glory, but for the glory of God. 

6) God has blessed us with wonderful friends who love us and care for us. 

7) He has brought gifted women to serve in the counseling ministry along side us. They labor for Him as an offering and their labors are many. They are our eyes, ears, mouth and hands when and where we cannot be. 

8) My family is healthy and whole. My children are well and employed. 

9) I am the wife of a loving, kind, and gentle man. I have been richly blessed by him for over 20 years. He is the love of my life, my Always and Forever. 

10) I am thankful for you. You come daily or often to read what God places on my mind to tell you and teach you about Him. If you stopped coming to this page, I would stop writing it. 

I hope and pray I am a blessing to you in some small way. I pray you find help, healing, and hope in these postings. May God bless you. 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Do You Love Me?

I have a friend who for a period of time doubted the love of God in her life. Small things would happen that were not a part of her plan for the day and she would wonder aloud, “Don’t You love me God?”

Have you ever been there? Have you been in the midst of some difficult circumstances and wondered if God loves you? Or, have you ever believed that you sinned so greatly that God could never love you or accept you? Some of you have, I know.

What would you have to see or experience to realize this love? How about a day where everything goes right, or an extra paycheck or bonus shows up in your mail slot? For multitudes of people the gauge of God’s love are the circumstances in their lives. If things go well then God loves them and is pleased with them. If things go badly then God is somehow displeased with them, especially if things go wrong for an extended period of time.

I once went through a horrible time of conflict and thought that God was done with using me in ministry as a result of it. I was very, very sad at this thought but wanted what God wanted for me and for His church. I did not realize that I was questioning God’s love for me in the midst of all that grief until I was asked to participate in the Christmas service by reading the Word of God to the congregation. I was simply overjoyed at the privilege of being asked to share the very Word of God on Christmas and vividly recall hanging up the phone and with shouts of joy and tears saying, “You do still love me! You do still love me!”

Until that moment I did not realize I doubted Him. I also did not realize that my beliefs were in conflict with the truth of Scripture. I did not realize what an insult such thoughts and beliefs truly are. Listen, when you are tempted to think such thoughts ask yourself this, exactly how much more would God have to do for you to show you that He loves you? What more this there than death?

For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:6-8

I repeat, what more can a person do for you to show you His love than to die for you? We makes heroes out of men who jump on train tracks to rescue a little child and rightfully so! What about one Man who provided a way of rescue for every man woman and child ever born? What else could He possibly do to persuade you of His love?

Jesus is enough! His death was enough to prove the love of God for us my friends. His death was sufficient to secure our salvation. His death was enough to secure our life. His death was proof of His love as on that day for the first time ever in all of eternity God turned His face away from His own Son. (Matt.27:46)

But the LORD was pleased To crush Him, putting Him to grief; If He would render Himself as a guilt offering… Isaiah 53:10

God did not spare His own Son in any respect in this death. Jesus’ death was not private as His betrayer’s was. (Matt. 27:3-5, Acts 1:18) It was not a simple hanging in a deserted place or a neat and orderly affair, it was a bloody, messy, vile affair that was public; and every stripe was intentional, every drop of blood spilled was accounted for.

In his book Grow in Grace Sinclair Ferguson says, “When we think of Christ’s dying on the cross we are shown the lengths to which God’s love goes in order to win us back to Himself. We would almost think that God loved us more than he loves His Son. We cannot measure His love by any other standard. He is saying to us, ‘I love you this much.’”

Carefully read Isaiah 53 today. Spend some time meditating on the great love that God has shown us in Jesus Christ. Put away the childish notions that worldly things are evidence of His love and favor and instead think on things that are true (Phil 4:8)

“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

Reflections on Changes

God is interesting. The way He deals with me is always beyond my understanding, and I am grateful for that. He allows me to try to find every way possible out of a jam or situation and He just seemingly sits back, arms folded across His chest (I imagine a big smile on His face) and waits for me to be done exhausting my options... and myself. He already knows the answer, had the solution from eternity past.

I continue to pray, "Tell me what to do..." and as I pray I try to figure it out myself.

When I am out of options I must rely on nothing other than Him. I have nothing but prayer, and faith, and His faithfulness to me. What a wonderful place to be! I can trust Him because I know He has a plan, He is aware, and He is fully in charge of whatever the thing of the moment or day is. He reminds me that HE knows the end from the beginning and that no matter how it looks to me, He sees infinitely more than I do.

I can see how God is faithful to keep me close to Him, and to keep my focus on Him. I so desire to bring Him honor and glory through my trials! I so desire to be all about Him, and I can see how easy it is to lose sight of that goal. But yet, as an observer of my own life, I can still see Christ. I can see Him working and moving and changing me. I am thankful.

I know my trials are not done, I have not yet made the finish line. I want to have completed the course by the time I am done in this life. I want God's objectives to be completed in me.

My hands are still open, and I am still holding on loosely. I want it to stay that way. I have had pretty much unwavering confidence in God's ability to do something with these worldly messes, and He has been faithful. There are more hurdles lying ahead yet, more trials and difficulties. God has a plan for them too, I am confident! He is VICTORIOUS!

He always wants me to remember that I need Him, that I am nothing without Him, and even though I may plan and strategize the "best" way ~ultimately my life is His- hidden in Christ and He will do with me what He wills... and that He will always bring glory to Himself.

Our Finest Gift

"Our finest gifts we bring pa rum pa pum pum, To lay before the King pa rum pa pum pum..." Song lyric, The Little Drummer Boy*

Christmas is on the way! Often lost in this frenetic season is the meaning of Christmas, which to the Christian is the birth of the Savior Jesus Christ. For many people their non-working hours are spent decking the halls, baking cookies, shopping and listening to the never ending Christmas music that began on November 1 (much to my dismay).

One of the traditional favorites carols is The Little Drummer Boy. With its simplistic lyrics and timeless tune it is easy for young children to learn. It is a portion of the lyrics that I would like to focus on today.

For a little background, and to set the stage I will remind you that Matthew (Chapter 1, 2) & Luke's Gospel (Chapter 2) recount the circumstances surrounding the conception and birth of the Lord Jesus Christ. The Luke passage explains to us that Jesus was not born in a palace or even in a shack, he was born in an animal shelter or what we would call a stable. It was most likely a cave cut into the face of a hillside.

The Magi (Wisemen) were eastern magicians or astrologers. Scripture does not enumerate them, and it is tradition that leads us to conclude there were three of them. If you follow the account of these men in Scripture it is likely that Jesus was already a toddler by the time they found him in Bethlehem. They most certainly did not attend to Him on the night of His birth. They arrived in Jerusalem after Jesus was born, and questioned everyone they met as to where "the King of the Jews" might be.

When  Herod got wind of this, he gathered together all the chief priests and scribes, called for the Magi to meet with them to discuss their quest. Herod also met secretly with the Magi and then sent them on their way to Bethlehem. All of this took quite a bit of time to accomplish. In addition there was time needed for the Magi to gather the supplies for these journeys. The Magi traveled in a large caravan and while the journey was short to go down to Bethlehem there were many preparations that needed to be made.

When they arrived in Bethlehem the Child Jesus (he was 2 years old or younger) and His parents were living in a house. They presented Him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh (Matthew 2:11).  It is here that we finally get to the meat of today's posting.

The Magi were Gentiles, and so it is significant that they brought gifts that were fit for a Jewish king. Jesus was a King, the King they had learned of from the Hebrew Scriptures. Each of those gifts had a significance that the givers did not understand, but a careful student of Scripture will see that the gold represented His Kingship, the frankincense was for His High Priestly ministry as God, and the myrrh was used in burial and signifies suffering. These gifts signify the purpose of the King's birth and look forward to His earthly ministry and His sacrificial death.

The gifts you and I give to others at Christmastime are representative of the gift of God to us in His Son, Jesus Christ. If the Drummer Boy were a real character, he would have brought his finest gift to the Lord. I am sure that if you and I were alive and aware of His birth we would also have brought Him our best.

The real gift's we bring are not fine, but in fact they are the reason this King was born. We often forget at Christmas that the sole reason Jesus was born was to redeem sinful mankind from sin! We get all wrapped up in the Christmas story, the manger, the animals in the stable and how tragic it was that our Savior was  born there. We forget that Jesus was born for one purpose- the cross.

No, we have no "gift" to bring to the manger that is of any significance to Jesus other than our sinful selves.
He never needed the gold or frankincense, both treasures of the world and certainly worthy of being presented to any king. He did not come for any other treasure than humanity. Sinful, lost and wandering sheep that are foolish and will walk right off a cliff if given the chance. He came to redeem us from our sinfulness and  transform us into people who bring Him honor and glory.

Do you know Him? Have you met the Savior through the Word of God and His Holy Spirit? This time of year people tend to think more spiritual thoughts and yearn for something deeper than the gifts under the tree. Consider that these yearnings may be the stirring of your soul by the Lord God of the Universe. He may be preparing your heart to bring your finest gift to Him this Christmas, that of yourself.

*"The Little Drummer Boy" Katherine K. Davis, Henry Onorati, Harry Simeone, 1958, Lyrics.com

Dealing with Memories Part 2

There are several psychologized methods used to deal with our memories, and none of them is found in Scripture or is remotely Biblical. What they are is a form of slavery to the one who participates in them!

The Biblical view of the past is very different! First, you have to realize, believe, accept, and understand that regardless of what has happened to you God has freed you from your past. Hallelujah! God has freed us from the past!! This should make us all jump up and shout!

Some of the most encouraging words in the Bible are found in 1 Corinthians 6

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (NASB)

There was a time when some of us were just like the first part of that passage above, but now your sins have been washed away and you have been set apart for God. You have been made right with God because of what the Lord Jesus Christ and the Spirit of our God have done for you.

Do you truly understand what the bolded portion of the passage above means? Do you understand that regardless of what you were before you were saved, regardless of your prior sinful habits, you have been changed.

But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NLT)

I find this tremendously encouraging! The Bible which does not and cannot lie, tells you and I that we are not slaves to our past, and we have been freed from the power that sin had over us in the past! Obviously, we are not perfect and we will still sin as this is part of the progressive nature of the maturing we undergo as Believers. Although we still sin, our relationship to those sins is now different.

Now you are free from sin, your old master, and you have become slaves to your new master, righteousness. Romans 6:18 (NLT)

We are not in bondage to our sinful selves; we were formerly not able not to sin. Now we have a choice. We have been freed from that sin master, and now are servants of righteousness. If you have been told or counseled with the psychological methodology you may believe that you are captive to your past because of what has been done to you, or because of what you have done.

This is so freeing to someone who has been in bondage to such a fatalistic belief system as Freudian therapists promote! Remember what Jesus said: And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 (NLT)

Dealing with Memories Part 1

In addition to the past keeping us humble, remembering the past helps us to repent of our sin. The Word of God makes it clear to us that repentance is necessary in the life of a believer. The Lord Jesus Christ tells the Church to remember where they once were, the heights of spirituality they had attained before they fell into sin, and then repent of that sin (Rev 2:5).

Your past can be of great benefit to you in your spiritual walk. There are times that remembering where you have come from is the best deterrent to never going there again! I don't hold to the belief that some Christians have that any "memory" is a bad thing. If you have been reading the posts this week, you have seen the importance of remembering the past in all sorts of situations and lives, going all the way back to the Old Testament. In fact, there are over 100 times God tells us to remember something from the past!

The Bible tells us that our memory and our past is a gift to us from God that is to help us live in a manner that glorifies Him today. Attempting to erase our memories is not a good thing for a number of reasons. It is nearly impossible to completely eradicate our past from our minds and short of a traumatic brain event of some sort. If we did not have the past to learn from, we would continue to blunder right back into the same foolish and sinful situations. This is why I believe that our past can be of great spiritual benefit to our present.

Sadly, many so called Christian psychologists and psychiatrists speaking and writing today have been largely influenced by Freudian theory. Even worse, this line of thinking has been bought lock, stock and barrel by the church and has infiltrated into the belief systems of pastors, teachers, and "christian counselors."

Books like Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? and Telling Yourself the Truth are popular today, even among Christians! The argument for this line of thinking goes something like this:
"There is too much superficial Christianity today"- that sounds reasonable and even true, doesn't it?

Remember, the question we must always ask is, "did this come from the Bible?" Are you able to find solid support for this from the Scriptures? Is the approach one that the Bible instructs us to take?

I think that the reason people buy into the superficiality is that most are what I would call "shallow copers" - ill-equipped to cope with who they are on any more than a superficial level.

To rectify this problem and become whole and real people who are Christians psychology says we have to go back and dig through our past and our pains, go into our subconscious and experience the deep pain of having our unmet needs met. The childhood needs that have gone unmet by our parents and our churches and all the others in our lives who have added layers of pain onto our lives. Is this any solution? If it is, then why are people in therapy for years?

What about healing our memories? Some suggest we need to relive the memories, experience the pain or fear or anger, whatever the experience was that traumatized us. As we relive the memories we are to visualize Jesus in the room with us. Is there anything of the kind in the Bible?

There are several other psychologized methods used to deal with our memories, and none of them is found in Scripture or is remotely Biblical. What they are is a form of slavery to the one who participates in them!

More tomorrow

The Past in the Shadow of the Cross

We have been spending some time this week looking backwards, thinking about the benefit of remembering our past experiences and our past successes and failures. Our past is as valuable to us as our present in many ways.

The past is a part of us, no matter how we try and escape it, and it is often used by God to minister to other people. Looking back at the Old Testament records, we can see that the Kings read the chronicles of their past, and gleaned much wisdom from them. Even when they had the chronicles read to them because they could not sleep, God used those records of days long past to effect the future of Israel.

I believe that there is a place in yours and my life for remembering our past too, even our past sins. We are not to remember to wallow in them or to beat ourselves up over them, but to remain humble.

"Remember! Do not forget how you provoked the Lord your God to wrath in the wilderness." Deut. 9:7 (NKJV)

While this verse was written to Israel once they entered the Promised Land, I find application to my own life as well. I was once very much in the wilderness, and I was under God's wrath.

It is so very important that we forever keep the cross and the cross work in our view! When I remember who and what I was before Christ took my life to Himself I am incredibly humbled by His choosing me! When I think of the wretch that I was, choosing to live my life in complete and total rebellion to Him and His Son I am filled with awe at His grace and mercy. I know that there is nothing that I could ever do to make up for who I was or how I lived my life. I know that I deserved hell and damnation and were it not for Christ and His sacrificial death on my behalf I would remain lost.

I don't want to forget how my sin caused me much trouble in life! I think this is a benefit of remembering the past. Because of the pain sin caused me then I am reluctant to sin in the same way now. In the times when the knowledge that to sin does not bring God glory fails to be enough to deter my sinful heart and flesh, the memory of the pain and aggravation sin brings me adds to the reasons to flee from sins temptations.

Can remembering the past help you to repent? Check in next time to find out.

Stewardship of the Past

How much do you apply the truth of what you know to your life? Do you take verses such as Romans 12:1 and make practical application of that truth to your life? Do you consider yourself a living sacrifice? Are you really excited about growing and changing? Does progressive sanctification energize you?

I hope so because if you are not excited about these things then you are probably a poor steward of your memories and lessons of your past. A woman who focuses on all that God has done in her past is applying truth today out of love and thanksgiving for the faithfulness of God.

If you have had the sad experience of growing up in a bad family situation you may not look at your past as something to remember with fondness. Your childhood may be something you would rather forget ever happened and the idea of looking back on it with thanksgiving might make your blood boil.

Thankfulness is born out of perspective. You made it through, you survived it all. God has equipped you with the ability to minister to a select group of people who are currently suffering what you once did. You can be an encouragement to them, a lighthouse in their stormy darkness, a beacon of hope- providing that you have not become or remain embittered by the experience.

You can help others begin to look at the fact that God was completely aware of the circumstances of their lives before any of it ever happened. You can teach them about His sovereignty and His wisdom in allowing it all to take place, and you can minister to them in the way you know only someone who has "been there" can minister to them. You understand the emotions and the heart attitudes that are prevalent and address them in that persons present, perhaps preventing future problems for them.

This is a productive and God-honoring use of past painful events and will bring God glory. In serving others you will also achieve healing for yourself through the ministry of the Holy Spirit in your heart and life.

Not long ago I met a woman who had been severely abused at home and further abused when she ran away from that home. She was abducted and raped and lived on the streets as a drug addict for a number of years. While her past is tragic and even horrific to have lived through, she uses the experience to help others through her counseling ministry. Rather than hiding it all away where it can be of no use to anyone, she patiently ministers truth and love to other women who have been down similar paths in life.

This is being a living sacrifice, and available for God to use in ways that are holy and acceptable for His glory.

Detour Ahead!

Someone I know recently began a new job working for a company that does roadwork. Part of his job is to coordinate the signage for the construction zones.  The other day he let me know that if I planned to take a certain road I had better do it soon because it was a 6 lane road that would be down to 1 lane in both directions. He told me it would be a big mess and I would want to avoid it at all costs.

I think many of us view issues and problems in life the same way; we want to avoid them at all costs.  Many would willingly drive miles and miles out of their way to avoid construction zones, even knowing that it is sometimes better to go through them rather than go around them.

They seem to approach problems and “construction zones” of life in the same way, using distractions as detours to avoid the critical heart work that is to take place in us for the glory of God. The distractions take the form of excessive television or movie watching, internet play, shopping, talking on the phone, or working many hours a day to keep themselves distracted.  Sometimes the distractions are more harmful and include excessive alcohol use, taking prescription or non-prescription medicines to dull the senses or even illegal drugs to escape reality.

The good news is that God is the Master Builder and He will not be detoured. If you are a person who has been seeking escape that may not sound like good news to you, but I assure you it is! God is a sovereign and faithful God who knows what He has planned for you. He knows the destination He has in mind for you and what it will take to get you there.

For some of us it means sacrifice; giving up things or people that were important to us because they will not bring about the righteous life that God desires.  You may also have to confront various sin issues in your life; acceptable sins that you have tolerated or cultivated thinking they really didn’t matter.

For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another… But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and strife and disputes about the Law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. Titus 3:3,9 (NASB)

God will dig up the paths you have been on; sometimes even creating what appears to be an earthquake or what may feel like total destruction in your life. He is revealing and uprooting areas of idolatry and while those times are never pleasant, faith and trust in the God who loves you with an everlasting love will sustain you through the journey.  Those times are intentional and purposeful, stripping away everything you count on and lean on that distracts you from Him with the intent of drawing your closer to Him.

I understand these can be discouraging times. Seeing our sin and examining the sinful heart through the eyes of prayer and Scripture should lead us to confession and repentance. It is intended to break us of self-deception and self-justification for sinning. To remove the “Yeah, but’s” from our conversations with God and strip away all our foolish pride.

We can also become discouraged when our lives are taken in a very different direction than the one we wanted to go in. Many a person who thought they had life all figured out and were driving toward their goal has been re-routed and found themselves in a place they never thought they would visit, let alone live there. It is very tempting in those situations to be angry with God for changing our plans. We must be careful to remember we are subordinate to our Maker, placed here to do His will not our own. Every plan is to be submitted to our Lord for His approval, and we must surrender our will to His- willingly if we are going to imitate Christ.

…but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2b

Remember that detours are not always bad things! Once while back in WI we decided to ignore the Local Traffic Only signs and chose not to follow the posted Detour signs, what a mistake that was! Our journey was much longer and far more perilous and hard on the car (and its passengers) than if we would have just taken the Detour! Those signs are there for a reason; because danger is ahead! 

How many of you have wished in hindsight that you would have heeded the warnings of God and not gone down a certain path in your life? In your infinite wisdom you proceeded on a path that you were warned against traveling, and it brought you only pain and heartache and then the discipline of God for your efforts.  Listen to the Spirit of God as He speaks to you through the Word. Take heed to those people God has placed in your lives that are wise and discerning!

The best news is that God has the eternal destination of the Believer already secured. Our place will one day be with Him in the heavenlies where we will rule and reign with Him forever.  Until then, obey the signs! 

How to Respond to Hurt

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.  Romans 12:17-19 (NASB) 


There are times in relationships of all kinds that we experience being hurt by people we care about. When were are slightly hurt by them we tend to brush it off or chalk it up to "having a bad day" or something like that. However, when we are seriously hurt by other people in our lives we are often at a loss as to what to do with our emotional response to that wound. 


I was once rejected by a close friend and I spent day and weeks wondering what I did to cause her to cut me out of her life. Was I a bad friend? Did I do or say something she could not accept? Was it something so great that it could not be forgiven? 


When my first husband left me I wondered what I did wrong to cause him to choose someone else over me. I was a very young Christian and I did not know much about the Bible at that time. I made many, many mistakes in how I handled the situation. I tried to make all sorts of bargains with God and with myself to try to get my husband to come back home. At some point I must have begged and groveled because I believe so strongly that marriage is forever. 


I was very focused on how this would look to my unregenerate friends and family, because we had made no secret of our conversion to Christianity from Catholicism. Some of my motives were very wrong for wanting him to come back home and reconcile the relationship. There was little focus on God and His glory, it was much more about me and my desires. Of course, I knew that God hates divorce and I certainly didn't want one, but I confessed after a time that my desires for reconciliation were more about me and not quite as much about God's glory as they should have been. 


When I realized I could not control what my then husband did with respect to the marriage, I began to demonstrate sinful anger, outrage that he would do this to me, disgust at his behavior and I wanted to inflict on him the pain he had inflicted upon me. I wanted to hurt him and as the saying goes, "hit him where he lived." 


This is the common response to hurt and pain. We are all at times tempted to return evil for evil, sin for sin, and pain for pain. It is in our human nature to want to strike back and avenge ourselves. It goes very much against the grain for us to sit back and do nothing when we have been hurt even a little bit. The desire for revenge is even more ingrained when we have been deeply hurt. 


This is why passages like Romans 12:17-19 are critical for you and I to commit to memory and to make application of in daily life. To set aside the desire to avenge ourselves is the godly response to these kinds of assaults. We can be confident that our loving Father is completely aware of the things that are done to His children, and that He will most certainly take revenge on those who have harmed His own. 


The human response to that truth is "Yay!" You may find yourself rejoicing, knowing that one day he or she will get what is coming to them, but even in this God cautions us to respond rightly. 


Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles; or the LORD will  see it and be displeased, and turn His anger away from him. Proverbs 27:17-18 (NASB)


The right response of the Christian is to pray for those who have hurt them. Praying for them to repent of their wickedness is what will glorify God. Praying they turn from sin and make a new direction in their life that will bring about the peaceable fruit of righteousness will honor God and bring you peace in your own heart. 


“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." Luke 6:27-28 (NASB)


If a Christian refuses to pray for their enemy, how can they reflect Christ in their life? The model that He left for us was to forgive those who hurt us and to forgive abundantly; the way that we have been forgiven by Him. This does not mean we put ourselves in harms way again, or that we necessarily resume the friendship we had with the person, as in my first example. We are to be wise and discerning as well as forgiving. 


In a relationship such as a marriage, even in cases of adultery the goal is always forgiveness and reconciliation with the spouse. Trust must be earned and abundant discernment is needed in these situations, but a marriage truly can be put back together when forgiveness has taken place. When both people are willing to do what glorifies God and take every step that is necessary to right the wrongs that have been done, a wonderful and beautiful marriage will be the result. 

Identifying My Motives

Generally speaking, our feelings are revealing our hearts to us. This is important to understand for if you want to correct unhappy or sad feelings, you have to address your heart. For as much as I know about biblical counseling when I apply this truth to myself I still don't like it! I would much rather blame how I am feeling on someone else, take a circumstance in my life and say that "it" is the reason I am feeling sad, or angry or even depressed.

Biblically, most of the time my feelings and emotions are my responses to things that a sovereign God has brought into my life. He allows hardship through financial reversal, He allows rebellious children who throw away all the truth that has been poured into them, He allows job loss, He allows our husbands to sin against us, He allows our bosses to treat us unkindly, and He allows our country to be taken over by people we don't approve of.

How I respond to these or any other things that take place in life reveal what I believe about God. Isn't that amazing?! Next time you find yourself "in a mood" about something, try asking yourself questions like these:

• What do I want that I am not getting?
• What am I getting that I do not want?
• What perceived right of mine is being violated?
• Who or what are my thoughts focused on now?
• Have I pinned my hopes on something that I have been denied?
• What do I believe would make me happy?

Asking yourself questions will help you clarify what your thought patterns are, they will help you understand why you are feeling the way you are. The answers help us to identify what is going on in the heart that is leading me to think, believe, and desire the way I am at that point in time. Once I know what I am thinking, and if it is in line with God's Word or not I can make a correction to get it there. When I can clarify what I am believing to be the truth I can compare it against the truth of Scripture and see if is measures up to God's unchangeable Word. When I can identify what I am desiring or worshiping in my heart I am able to determine if I am practicing some from of idolatry and once I know what it is I can rid myself of it and return to worshiping God alone.

So many times women have told me what a huge change has been made by practicing this one aspect of counseling! Understanding what one thinks, believes, and desires in their heart is crucial and critical to true change of life.

Of course, there are certainly times when we are in the midst of tragedy and great loss that we can barely make sense of our thoughts or our feelings. They are too jumbled and we are in a daze of pain. For instance, when my Mom died, I had a pile of feelings and emotions that I had no clue what to do with.  I was happy and devastated at once. I was relieved and guilty at the same time. I was rejoicing and sorrowful. And I was also numb.

When I have difficult issues to deal with it is not always easy for me to put this together and understand my thoughts, beliefs and desires. Emotions want to sweep us away and you may find you have to work at this a while and then set it aside and come back in a while. I will never tell you this is an easy process, because it is not. It is a fight against the flesh that desires to wallow and sulk and ruminate.

Even the desire to wallow, sulk, and ruminate has to be examined! What is the reason I want to do those things? Is it because I want sympathy? Is it because it feeds my flesh? You see, in our humanity our deceitful hearts take us places we don't realize we want to go. This is why the Spirit of God must be leading the charge for change. I have a hard time discerning what is in my sinful heart because I lie even to myself! But God who sees and knows all- He is completely aware of all of the contents of my heart and only He can help me to overcome.

A Permanent Solution to Temporary Problems

When I was a teenager I had periods of time where I thought I was "depressed." In hindsight, I really didn't understand what depression was, but I knew I felt sad. There were times I even felt sad enough to consider doing something drastic to stop the feelings. I experimented with drinking and drugs as ways to forget my feelings, and I am willing to admit I flirted with things like cutting long before it was "fashionable" to do so.  I am also honest enough to tell you that at times I considered suicide as the way to end my troubles and sorrows.

We are living in a period of time that many people find themselves feeling overwhelmed due to crushing financial pressures. So many people are out of work, and are struggling to pay their monthly expenses and put food on the table for their families. This is happening to people in their late 40's and 50's who thought they were heading down the home stretch toward retirement. They suddenly find themselves in line at the unemployment office or working at a low wage job because it is all they can get.

Marriage relationships are struggling terribly as well. It is hard to say what is driving these marital difficulties to  accelerate, but what we see is that couples that were functioning before are now collapsing under the strain of daily life.

Our kids and young adults are not immune to tensions and pressures either. The problems at home between Mom and Dad, the underlying stress of the financial woes of the family, and the normal stuff of teenage life are combining to create the perfect storm of angst in our kids.

People in all these categories are considering the most drastic of solutions to their problems, suicide. Every 15  minutes someone chooses to end their life. Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States. Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.

They choose suicide because they believe their situation is hopeless. They cannot see any way their circumstances will change for the better and many times they have tried to do everything possible to fix or rectify things and they simply see no end in sight. They describe being overwhelmed, depressed, miserable, sad, and hopeless.

Both David and Elijah in the Old Testament experienced such feelings and thoughts. Both of these godly men had great spiritual highs and experiences with God and they also had crushing lows. David was king over Israel and was known as the man after God's own heart, yet he committed adultery and murder! This brought him to a place of great despair and depression as he experienced God's hand of conviction and chastisement on him. Look at Psalm 38 to see his expressions of sorrow and depression!

Elijah also struggled with such anguish he wanted to die. God used him in a mighty way (1 Kings 18) to defeat the prophets of Baal and on the heels of such a great spiritual high Elijah ran away hopeless from the evil Queen Jezebel. He ran into the desert, and begged God to take his life (1 Kings 19).

Jeremiah, Jonah, and even Job all despaired of life at times because their misery level was so high. The things we suffer with in this life are no different in nature than their troubles. Of course, our individual circumstances are different but the solution is the same.

Hope is the solution to the temptation of suicide. Our hope is not in worldly things like winning the lottery or coming into an inheritance, nor is it in other earthly or temporary things like new cars or even people who tell us they love us. Our hope is only found in a restorative and regenerative relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

Jesus is the one who gives us hope in this life and the one to come. When a person has a permanent relationship with God in Christ it can (and should) change their outlook on all aspects of life. The understanding that all of this is temporary and that a perfect blissful eternity waits for us is encouraging. Knowing that the Lord uses my trials and troubles to change and perfect my character is also uplifting because it makes them purposeful. I am not being subjected to difficulties without reason, these things are intentional and allowed by God. He promises to bring beauty from ashes and to bring glory to Himself through our lives.

Suicide is never the solution to problems of any kind. If you are really struggling I urge you to get counsel, get help from someone who can lead you in the right direction- away from suicidal thoughts and toward hope, healing and help.

Just One More

For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that! 2 Timothy 3:2-5

My husband tells the story of Howard Hughes who was once asked how much money, how many more dollars would be enough. His response was "Just one more." 

Many people live with the "just one more" philosophy. One more drink, one more pill, one more shopping trip, or one more pull of the lever on the slot machine. They believe they need one more of something to make themselves happy or fulfilled. Very rarely do we hear of such a person saying that they need to read just one more chapter of Scripture, or spend just one more hour in prayer. 

This is because people tend to worship the created things rather than the Creator, effectively making idols of worship out of objects. 

For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures.  Romans 1:21-23 (NASB) 

God is set aside with the exception of being approached like some sort of Cosmic Santa Claus who can provide their wants and perceived needs. He is not worshiped as God nor given the honor and glory that is due Him. To "use" God in this way is an affront to God. 

God is not there to serve us, He exists to be honored and glorified by His creation. God desires that we are satisfied with Him apart for all we think He can "do" for us. Our joy and contentment must come from our relationship with Him and who He is, not the stuff He gives us or does for us in the world. 

God will never tolerate our love of "stuff" over love of Him. These things that become gods to us will be destroyed by God before they completely destroy us. Our flesh will always cry out for more and more gratification, and truly, the best thing that can happen to some of us is to have our desires come to an abrupt end through whatever means God determines is best. 

But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. 1 Timothy 6:6 (NASB) 

God's desire is we are completely satisfied in Him in riches and in poverty. This is rare and difficult to attain in our age of excesses of all kinds. Our lives here are a training ground for the life that is to come with God in glory. How important do you think people will find the new car they left behind or that designer handbag? What is of eternal value is what should be sought after and cherished, not temporary pleasures that will never be enough in this life anyway.

A Tribute to the Heroes

We spent this past weekend in Wisconsin. Those trips home involve long hours on the road and many logistical movements. This visit contained more than usual as we had a number of events taking place. 

There was the wedding celebration of a cousin and most importantly, the celebration of my dad’s 90th birthday. Added into the mix was a special honor for my Dad.

My Dad is a WWII Veteran, and he was selected to go on an Honor Flight (http://www.honorflight.org/) to Washington DC this past Saturday. My husband and I took him to the airport at 4AM and there we saw the remnants of the last great generation I fear this struggling nation will ever see. 

As I looked at this aged population of heroes I was overwhelmed by the reality of what we are losing as they pass away. They are men and women of courage and conviction, duty and honor. They came from a time when men were not metrosexual or thought they were trapped in women’s bodies. They were solid, hard core men and proud of it.

Leaving my Dad alone at the drop off point was a little hard. I had not met his guardian for the day and I really wanted to. The Vets were to be treated to breakfast then board the plane for DC. I knew it would be an exciting and full day for him.

When the Vets arrived in DC there was a large crowd of people there with signs and flags, a military band and cheers and many outstretched hands with smiling faces thanking them for their service.  These were all complete strangers to every person who got off that plane. They came just to pay tribute to these Veterans.  My Dad was so overwhelmed and so excited he called us to tell us of their reception! He told me privately that he could hardly see their faces for the tears streaming down his face.

They proceeded to visit each of the war memorials- particularly their memorial, the WWII Memorial, and many other national landmarks in 4 busses. At each stop the guardians got off ahead of them and patiently brought out the wheelchairs and assisted those Vets who were unable to walk or needed help due to their advanced age into those chairs and escorted them around the area.  They were also taken to Arlington National Cemetery, where no doubt many of their friends were laid to rest.  After a long and emotional day, they again boarded the plane for home. 

Once the plane took flight, each Veteran was given a packet of letters from home. Their final Mail Call of their military service as it were. These are letters written by the family and friends of the Veteran for them to read on the way back home. My Dad’s contained over 20 letters from his children and grandchildren as well as letters from friends who learned he was going on this trip.

When these American heroes arrived, they were greeted by and Honor Guard of men and women in uniform who lined the way on both sides from the gate through the Security Checkpoint area. At their end began thousands of cheering, applauding, appreciative family, friends, and total strangers who lined the airport walkways turned parade route with balloons and patriotic songs, along with handmade posters welcoming home "Gramps" “PaPa” "Our Hero" and the Brave American Soldiers of WWII. Many of the posters were actual photos of the service man or woman.

The men and women who passed before us on the parade route, many in wheel chairs pushed by their guardians for the day (who paid out of their own pockets for this privilege) were obviously overcome by emotion, openly weeping and shaking their heads in amazement at the crowds and chants of USA! USA! USA! We reached out and shook their hands and thanked them for a job well done many years in the past.

Each time a family spied their Veteran among the group making its way down the parade route, the crowd went wild with cheers and applause for their loved one. We clapped and cheered for these heroes, many of who survived the beaches of Normandy and other horrific battles. 

These are the men and women who stopped the evil Axis Powers from spreading fascism across the globe and halted the Third Reich in its tracks. They also defeated Imperial Japan in the Pacific theater. Had they not gone "over there" the world would be a much different place. I am so very proud to say my Dad is one who served. 

When we saw my Dad, or rather when he saw us, he burst into a fresh round of tears, for he did not expect every living member of his immediate family to be there to greet him. We cheered and hugged and welcomed home our hero.

Needless to say, the weekend was full and rich and I left overflowing with gratitude to my heavenly Father for giving me such an honorable earthly father, and to my earthly father; Dad, for being my hero and someone I can be proud of. 

I love you Dad, Happy 90^th Birthday. 

Have You Forgotten?

…that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24 (NKJV).

Occasionally I am contacted by someone who is a former counselee. Usually I get these calls because a sort of a friendship has developed and she just wants to check in and say “Hi.” I like those contacts because it gives me a chance to hear how life has changed for her since we ceased our meetings.

I also get calls from ladies who, despite their great beginnings have fallen back into a sinful habit or lifestyle. They call me because they are hoping I can help them get back on the straight and narrow path. I like these contacts too.

Invariably, their downfall is the result of ceasing to live their position in Christ, no longer walking worthy of their calling (Eph 4:1) and as a result they went back to the grave for a sniff. Instead of living our position go back to living as though we still are what the Bible says we once were: Dead in trespasses and sins, Enemy of God, and without hope.

We easily forget what God has said about us. I have named a very few of the many things God says about His people. We are: washed, sanctified, justified, and alive in Christ

Ephesians 4:22 tells us that the old man “grows corrupt” according to the deceitful lusts. Our flesh (old man, sinful nature) will be with us until the day we leave this earth. If it is fed it will continue to flourish and grow stronger and more corrupt. The flesh is not fed by goodness, it is fed by sinful thoughts and desires that lead to sinful actions. Its desires are insatiable.

An excellent illustration of corruption comes from ancient Roman justice. When a man committed murder one method of punishment was to strap the dead body of the victim to the murderer. The victim would be tied to the murderer at the wrists, chest, legs, and ankles to give maximum skin contact. The murderer would have to carry his victim everywhere he went, there was no escape. As the body of the victim began to decompose flies would gather and maggots would soon cover the body. Acid from the decomposition would begin to eat into the skin of the murderer opening him up to infection from the flies and other means. The stench from the rotting flesh would nauseate the host and he would beg for release from this torture. He would want more than anything to be able to throw off this rotting, stinking corpse and get away. Eventually the murderer would die of septic shock, blood poisoning, or another infection.

The illustration points us to the fact that the flesh of the host grew more and more corrupt as it stayed in contact with the rotting flesh of the dead man to the point that it snuffed the life out of the host. He was fit only for the grave.

When you decide to return to a former sinful way of life you are returning to the grave. You are going back to roll away the stone and peek inside and if your sin still stinks!

Do not be deceived for God is not fooled by these return trips…they reveal a heart longing for something long dead in Christ. We return to the grave because in our heart we still love that sin, we love something about it. Usually it is the way it makes us feel in the moment. However, you cannot just play with sin and expect to be unaffected! You are told to “put off”, “throw off” your former conduct. This implies stripping off, or flinging it far away for you as though it were a rotting corpse.

For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. Romans 8:13 (NIV)

The longer you stay in contact with your former way of life and the sin it contained the more corrupt you will become. Too often I am told that the person was “just thinking” about that sin and before long, their thoughts had fanned the flames of desire for it. And the thoughts led to sinful actions.

Can I encourage you to stop visiting the place of the dead? What benefit is there for you to go back for another whiff of death and sin? How does that glorify God? Live in Christ! Your life is there with Him at the right hand of God the Father. Live in light and the glory of the risen Christ!

Handling Your Past

If I gave you the opportunity to give me your life story in 15 minutes, what would you say?

When you think about your past, does it bring back warm and fond memories, of a loving and caring childhood gentle and loving a parents and siblings, or you may have memories of a past that was primarily bad, Would your life story revolve around how you have been mistreated in the past? What has been done to you by someone? What was said/done, or not said/done? Or you may have very few memories of your past, but regardless of what you remember, you have one!

Therefore, I believe it is imperative that we understand what God’s Word has to say about handling our past. God gave us our memory – He gave us the ability to retain and store information in our brains,therefore, He must have a purpose and plan for those memories.

All you need to do is pick up the newspaper or turn on the nightly news to see that the issue of the past is primary in the worlds dealing with interpersonal problems, marriage and family issues, and behavioral matters such as in a legal trial for assault, or murder, or neglect.

Although it is not a popular view, I do not like to excuse poor behavior done as an adult by blaming families, and what happened to us as children.Yes, we may carry scars from our battles; we may have a sore or weak spot where we are especially sensitive, but ultimately, I believe that all of this can be overcome in Christ.

The Bible clearly says that in Christ you are a new creation. You have a new family, the family of God. You have a new father, who is God. You have a new spirit, the Sprit of God, who lives with your very being. You have a new nature, given to you by the Lord Jesus Christ.

I refuse to be in bondage to the philosophy of the world that says we are all a victim of something. I refuse to blame my upbringing for my poor behavior.

Even though I have had some very difficult circumstances in my life, I am not an emotional wreck, I am not a victim, and I am not co-dependant, alcoholic or mal-adjusted, I am a victorious, blood washed, born again believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. I am Victorious! And so are you!

How did I get from there to here?

Because I learned and applied what the Word of God has to say about the past. Because the Bible has been talking about a person’s past for thousands of years.

And the message we get from God’s Word is that a person’s past definitely affects her present and her future.

He who covers his sins (in the past) will not prosper, (in the present and the future) Proverbs 28:13 (NKJV)

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. Galatians 6:7 (NKJV)

These are Some pretty clear statements about the past and future.

Have you ever noticed how many stories there are in the Bible? There are so many life stories of those who have gone before us. Stories of their lives from beginning to end. Stories of their families, battles, triumphs, tragedies- why? Why has God given us these historical records to read and review? Is it because He is a good story teller? Does He want to give us something to read beside doctrine?

The answer is that those records are there for us to learn from, so you and I don’t make the same mistakes in our own lives. You all are familiar with the saying hindsight is 20/20, well through the Bible; we have the benefit of seeing how decisions at one end of a persons life have affected them at the other end. Sometimes drastic results, sometimes glorious ones.

Your past can be of great benefit to you because you can look back at your decisions and learn from them all! The great ones, and the ones that turned out not so good in the end.

Your past also helps you to accepts new trials in life.

"Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” Job 2:10 (NKJV)

Job was able to honestly say this to his lovely wife because he remembered the goodness and the kindness of God. He understood God’s faithfulness, and this carried him through the otherwise unbearable trials of the present.