Hurt, Pain, and Rejection

If you have ever been rejected you will both benefit from and be affected by todays post.  The pain of rejection goes so deeply that at times it feels as though it could split you in half and wash you away, and no one likes to be hurt like that! When it happens, pride is affected and the sinful heart determines, "No one is going to treat me that way!"

I truly believe that the pain of rejection can only be righteously resolved through the application of biblical principle to the heart and life of the person who has been hurt. Rejection is such a deeply personal hurt because often it is not our deeds or actions that are rejected, it is us as people, and our very personhood is what seems to disqualify us from being a part of the life of that person. There is little we can do when someone finds our very existence unacceptable to them or too distasteful for them to be around.

The inborn response of the heart when you are rejected is to become angry at the one who has hurt you so deeply. The anger is very deeply rooted and can even become dangerous if left to remain and fester.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31(NASB)

Scripture tells us that bitterness is what ensues when the anger that comes from the pain of rejection is not dealt with biblically. And bitterness is a disastrous fruit. Bitterness results from believing that the one who sinned against them is not sorry and is not going to ask forgiveness. The wrath that flows from the wounded heart is what determines someone is going to pay for how I have been hurt and what destroys all possibility of future a relationship with that person.

Every day the rejected and wounded person decides to keep that bitterness alive in their heart by revisiting the hurt. They replay the memories of the rejection over and over in their mind. Sometimes they determine that everyone around them must hear of what has been done to them, and gossip and slander and every kind of evil speaking flow like a river from their heart. A malicious spirit develops within this person and in the end; they become the very thing they hated.

Often, God is blamed for not intervening in the matter and they become bitter toward God because they believe He will not punish the people who hurt them, God is not hearing their plea, or He does not care about their plight. Since God isn't going to avenge them, they take matters into their own hands.

The thinking becomes circular and the more they dwell on what has been done to them, the injustices they have suffered, or the loss they have incurred, the deeper the root of bitterness goes.

It is important to understand that God allows these circumstances in the lives of His children. He uses all events in our lives to make us more like Christ. Our response to attack and accusations and rejection needs to follow the pattern set forth in Scripture.

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15 (NASB)