If you have ever been rejected you will both benefit from and be
affected by todays post. The pain of
rejection goes so deeply that at times it feels as though it could split you in
half and wash you away, and no one likes to be hurt like that! When it happens,
pride is affected and the sinful heart determines, "No one is going to
treat me that way!"
I truly believe
that the pain of rejection can only be righteously resolved through the
application of biblical principle to the heart and life of the person who has
been hurt. Rejection is such a deeply personal hurt because often it is not our
deeds or actions that are rejected, it is us
as people, and our very personhood is what seems to disqualify us from
being a part of the life of that person. There is little we can do when someone
finds our very existence unacceptable to them or too distasteful for them to be
around.
The inborn response
of the heart when you are rejected is to become angry at the one who has hurt
you so deeply. The anger is very deeply rooted and can even
become dangerous if left to remain and fester.
Let all
bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you,
along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31(NASB)
Scripture tells us
that bitterness is what ensues when the anger that comes from the pain of
rejection is not dealt with biblically. And bitterness is a disastrous fruit. Bitterness
results from believing that the one who sinned against them is not sorry and is
not going to ask forgiveness. The wrath that flows from the wounded heart is
what determines someone is going to pay for how I have been hurt and what
destroys all possibility of future a relationship with that person.
Every day the rejected and wounded person decides to keep that
bitterness alive in their heart by revisiting the hurt. They replay the
memories of the rejection over and over in their mind. Sometimes they determine
that everyone around them must hear of what has been done to them, and gossip
and slander and every kind of evil speaking flow like a river from their heart.
A malicious spirit develops within this person and in the end; they become the
very thing they hated.
Often, God is blamed for not intervening in the matter and they become
bitter toward God because they believe He will not punish the people who hurt
them, God is not hearing their plea, or He does not care about their plight.
Since God isn't going to avenge them, they take matters into their own hands.
The thinking
becomes circular and the more they dwell on what has been done to them, the
injustices they have suffered, or the loss they have incurred, the deeper the
root of bitterness goes.
It is important to
understand that God allows these circumstances in the lives of His children. He
uses all events in our lives to make us more like Christ. Our response to
attack and accusations and rejection needs to follow the pattern set forth in
Scripture.
So, as those
who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and
patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as
the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond
of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule
in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15 (NASB)