Unless you live in a cave there are things you and I as Christian’s are going to have to face. We live in a highly sexualized culture where women are often treated as objects of sexual gratification and children are sold for sexual pleasure. There appears to be little that is private and morality seems to have taken an extended holiday.
I have seen the effects of all kinds of sexual sin in my counseling office, in churches, and among people I know and love.
You need to know this: sexual sin is pervasive and invasive. If it were a person, it would not care about your income, race, color or creed. Sexual sin is a captor and it takes hostages. You also need to know there is hope.
Some women have been involved in watching pornography or other lewd voyeuristic behaviors such as going to strip clubs. Others have spouses who have committed adultery- physical adultery by having sexual contact with another woman or emotional adultery by being involved with another woman without sexual contact.
No matter what kind of adultery your spouse has committed when you learned of it your life was changed, your world tilted off of its axis, and you realized nothing would ever be the same again.
Despite what your husband has done I want you to hear me clearly when I tell you that adultery does not have to ruin your life or your marriage. Adultery is a sinful act that was done by your husband and it does not define who you are.
For many reading this it is too late. You have learned your husband has been involved in some aspect of sexual immorality and you are reading this blog looking for help, healing, and hope. You have no idea what to do with the heartache that has claimed your life. Others have not yet experienced the heartache of his sin and you may be wondering what to look for, or how you will know he is straying.
Historically, sexual issues have been considered a man’s domain. It is critical that you understand that sexual immorality is not just for men any more. Women are also struggling in growing numbers with many of the same issues men do, and for the very same reasons.
Why is it that people are not gripped by all sins to the same degree? What separates us? What makes one person what the world calls an addict, and the other a casual consumer? One day, science may have an answer, but to date there is nothing scientific that proves there is anything medical going on inside the body of an addict that makes them different than anyone else.
Many Christians involved in sexual immorality genuinely want to stop. They know it is wrong, and when they are not tempted they want to stop. They also are disgusted by their behaviors when they are able to think about them objectively.
It is important you realize that sexual immorality (adultery) does not happen in a vacuum. I don’t think there is ever a day that a man or woman wakes up and says, “I think I will go and be sexually immoral today.” There is always some underlying issue of the heart that begins long before he ever takes the step of physical adultery or clicking on that porn site on the computer.
The human heart is set on gratifying self, this is a universal truth and it applies to everyone. Those who have been regenerated by Christ and are fortunate to be in a good church are taught that they are to deny themselves, life is not about them, and they are to live and use their lives to glorify God. However, we are still sinners and often we struggle with the gargantuan desires of the flesh. Ephesians 4:18-19 says sinful desires make a person’s heart hard to the truth of God’s commands and can lead even a Christian to act as an unbeliever does.
People give a variety of reasons for sexual immorality and adultery; too many to list actually! Whatever the reason given you must understand there is really only one
reason; they have a sinful heart.