Are you a "people person?" Do you just hate to be alone? I used to be that way; I had to have people around me all the time, or I had to be talking to someone on the phone. I was not okay with my own thoughts or with silence.You can be alone in a crowd, and many women are.
I find some of my counselee's are the same way. They live in a world of noise and chaos out of fear of the quiet and reflection. Silence leads a person to think, and so many people cannot bear the thought of having time to think about their lives, who they are and what they have done. The weight of guilt is a strong motivator to keep running and hiding from yourself and others.
Guilt is experienced when a person violates a moral code, a law, or a regulation. It can be as simple as driving past a police car going 10 miles over the speed limit or as heart wrenching as abortion or infidelity of some kind. Guilt drives us inside ourselves. We believe we have to protect our secrets and not let anyone know the "real me" because if they did, they would no longer accept or love us.
Does this describe you today? You may have never thought about your over-socialization in this way before I would encourage you to find a few quiet hours and get alone with the Lord and your Bible and seek His face in this matter.
You see, while a person may become proficient at hiding guilt from others, it cannot be hidden from God.
"...for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance,
but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7b (NASB)
There is no substitute for a clear conscience and no amount of noise will drown out the soft voice of conviction. Repentance and confession of sin are the only means of dealing with the sin that plagues a person. Jesus made a way for us to be reconciled to God (2 Cor 5:18-20) and because of His sacrifice we can boldly approach the throne of God for forgiveness of the sins that burden our souls.
Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy place by the
blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He inaugurated
for us through the veil, that is, His flesh, and since we
have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw
near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts
sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure
water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without
wavering, for He who promised is faithful; Hebrews 10:19-23 (NASB)
Once sin is confessed and repented of you may experience relief from the heaviness that has bound you all this time. The more time you spend in prayerful conversation with the Lord the less you will think about surrounding yourself with noise and people all the time. The need for chaos will go away and you will begin finding yourself comfortable in quiet and even comfortable in your own skin. This is a blessing of having peace with God and is a direct result of obedience.
What do you think? Are you ready to throw off those shackles of sin? I pray you are...enjoy the silence of a cleansed soul.