“The good man out of the good
treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the
evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which
fills his heart.” Luke 6:45
Historically, sexual issues have been considered a man’s domain.
What I want you to know, is that immorality is not just for men any more. Women
are also struggling in growing numbers with many of the same issues men do, and
for the very same reasons.
These are matters of the heart.
Why is it that not some people are not gripped by all sins to the
same degree? What separates us? What makes one person what the world calls an
addict, and the other a casual consumer? One day, science may have an answer,
but to date there is nothing scientific that proves there is anything medical
going on inside the body of an addict that makes them different than anyone
What each of them has in common, is that their actions are
revealing what is going on inside, in the inner man, what the Bible calls the
Many Christians involved in sexual immorality genuinely want to
stop. They know it is wrong, and when they are not tempted they want to stop.
They also are disgusted by their behaviors when they are able to think about
They have periods of what I call white knuckle flying- they
determine not to connect to the internet, or pass by that store on the way home
from work, or they disconnect their cable tv. These are certainly a part of
what needs to be done, but these actions address the fruit of the problem, the
end result of what is really a much deeper issue, because sexual immorality is
an issue of the heart.
The heart is the biblical word used to describe the inner man. The
heart is the immaterial, non-flesh part of you that includes your thoughts,
beliefs, and desires, mind, feelings, intentions, will, and emotions.
When a person is involved with sexual immorality, it is because
their heart is focused on themselves.
"But the things that proceed out
of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. For out of the
heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false
witness, slanders.” Matthew 15:18-19
When a person indulges in sexual immorality it is because their
heart is focused on having their perceived needs met. The heart is set on self,
getting what “I” want, doing what feels good to me, and fulfilling my desires.
All that is important to them is to have these things met and
whether they realize it or not, they are placing the desires of their own heart
above everything else. When a person begins to live for the desires of their
own heart a cascade of sin begins to take place. When the desires obeyed are
those involved in sexual immorality we can easily see the results.
In reading Romans 1, we see how God gave people over to their own
desires. While this passage is in reference to unbelievers, we can see how even
believers in Christ can demonstrate some of the same behaviors when they are
involved in sexual immorality.
If you think these activities are not going on among Christians, especially
teens and young adults you are mistaken.
They did vile and
degrading things with each other’s bodies They deliberately chose to
believe lies Acted on shameful desires Women indulged with sex with one another Men
burned with lust for each other did shameful things with other men.
While God never abandons the believer, He does allow us to
experience the consequences of our behaviors. Even in the area of sexual
immorality. Having counseled people who were involved in an immoral
relationship they inevitably say to me that they can’t believe what they have
done. That they never thought they could sink so low.
The heart that is focused on self does not set out to be so depraved,
but as my sweet husband says, “Sin always takes you farther than you ever want
The actions that you see are results. They are not the cause of
the problem; they are what flow over from the heart of man into their lives.
Every perverted and immoral action began as a thought, the thought was fueled
by a desire or a belief, and the desire or belief began in the heart. A
person who views pornography has at the center of their heart “self” and the
desire to please self at any cost.
Often they say they “have” to have pleasure; that they can’t stop
looking or wanting to look. They believe they have a right to feel good. That
somehow they have been cheated by having a spouse who is not interested in sex,
or is not interested in what kind of sex they want to have so they go on line
to get it.
Singles will say that God didn’t give them a spouse but He did
give them a sex drive so they figure viewing porn is a way to have it all.
Often porn users will say they thought of their actions as
victimless. They don’t think they are hurting anyone by these actions. In fact,
some men actually nobleize it by saying they don’t want to bother their wives
because they know their wife is really not interested.
If the activity takes place in secret it means no one knows,
right? I have been told by porn users that they didn’t think anyone knew about
their secret trips down to the next county, or to that gentleman’s club, or by
their watching it on line in the privacy of their home. But someone always
knows…God always knows, and eventually the problem grows too big to be a