“The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.” Luke 6:45
Historically, sexual issues have been considered a man’s domain. What I want you to know, is that immorality is not just for men any more. Women are also struggling in growing numbers with many of the same issues men do, and for the very same reasons.
These are matters of the heart.
Why is it that not some people are not gripped by all sins to the same degree? What separates us? What makes one person what the world calls an addict, and the other a casual consumer? One day, science may have an answer, but to date there is nothing scientific that proves there is anything medical going on inside the body of an addict that makes them different than anyone else.
What each of them has in common, is that their actions are revealing what is going on inside, in the inner man, what the Bible calls the heart.
Many Christians involved in sexual immorality genuinely want to stop. They know it is wrong, and when they are not tempted they want to stop. They also are disgusted by their behaviors when they are able to think about them objectively.
They have periods of what I call white knuckle flying- they determine not to connect to the internet, or pass by that store on the way home from work, or they disconnect their cable tv. These are certainly a part of what needs to be done, but these actions address the fruit of the problem, the end result of what is really a much deeper issue, because sexual immorality is an issue of the heart.
The heart is the biblical word used to describe the inner man. The heart is the immaterial, non-flesh part of you that includes your thoughts, beliefs, and desires, mind, feelings, intentions, will, and emotions.
When a person is involved with sexual immorality, it is because their heart is focused on themselves.
"But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.” Matthew 15:18-19
When a person indulges in sexual immorality it is because their heart is focused on having their perceived needs met. The heart is set on self, getting what “I” want, doing what feels good to me, and fulfilling my desires.
All that is important to them is to have these things met and whether they realize it or not, they are placing the desires of their own heart above everything else. When a person begins to live for the desires of their own heart a cascade of sin begins to take place. When the desires obeyed are those involved in sexual immorality we can easily see the results.
In reading Romans 1, we see how God gave people over to their own desires. While this passage is in reference to unbelievers, we can see how even believers in Christ can demonstrate some of the same behaviors when they are involved in sexual immorality. If you think these activities are not going on among Christians, especially teens and young adults you are mistaken.
They did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies They deliberately chose to believe lies Acted on shameful desires Women indulged with sex with one another Men burned with lust for each other did shameful things with other men.
While God never abandons the believer, He does allow us to experience the consequences of our behaviors. Even in the area of sexual immorality. Having counseled people who were involved in an immoral relationship they inevitably say to me that they can’t believe what they have done. That they never thought they could sink so low.
The heart that is focused on self does not set out to be so depraved, but as my sweet husband says, “Sin always takes you farther than you ever want to go.”
The actions that you see are results. They are not the cause of the problem; they are what flow over from the heart of man into their lives. Every perverted and immoral action began as a thought, the thought was fueled by a desire or a belief, and the desire or belief began in the heart. A person who views pornography has at the center of their heart “self” and the desire to please self at any cost.
Often they say they “have” to have pleasure; that they can’t stop looking or wanting to look. They believe they have a right to feel good. That somehow they have been cheated by having a spouse who is not interested in sex, or is not interested in what kind of sex they want to have so they go on line to get it.
Singles will say that God didn’t give them a spouse but He did give them a sex drive so they figure viewing porn is a way to have it all.
Often porn users will say they thought of their actions as victimless. They don’t think they are hurting anyone by these actions. In fact, some men actually nobleize it by saying they don’t want to bother their wives because they know their wife is really not interested.
If the activity takes place in secret it means no one knows, right? I have been told by porn users that they didn’t think anyone knew about their secret trips down to the next county, or to that gentleman’s club, or by their watching it on line in the privacy of their home. But someone always knows…God always knows, and eventually the problem grows too big to be a secret.