Comfort for the Abandoned Woman


Being rejected is also very difficult and can be the most difficult part of the abandonment. If there is another woman involved the hurt is ratcheted up several notches.

Being rejected leads a person to draw inward. It is a self-protective measure to try and fend off any more hurt or pain. The man she entrusted herself to has betrayed her trust. She has entrusted every part of herself to him: her thoughts, belief’s desires, her body…he has had access to every part of her inner person and has taken that sacred trust and smashed it to pieces. He knows her strengths and weaknesses, her sin areas, and struggles to overcome.

Unfortunately, many times all this information is weaponized and used to hurt and torment her.  He uses this power to silence her objections and manipulate her into agreements she is opposed to just to make the pain stop. She is already crushed by his leaving and taking half of her with him. This is insult upon injury for her.

Your counsel can only come from the Word of God to address this issue. Our wonderful Jesus is intimately aware of her pain and sorrow.

He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Isa. 53:10
He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. John 1:11 ESV

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. Ps. 34:17

Lead her to the Psalms and help her to find comfort and solace in His words. Help her to understand and accept that there is nothing she can do to make him love her again. She is of course to pray for his repentance and cooperate with the church as they undertake the discipline process with him. If she focuses on the rejection and the hurt she will struggle more with anger and a desire for revenge.
Your counsel could come from 1& 2 Peter.  I find both of these epistles to be very helpful in dealing with women who are under unjust and difficult authority.

For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly. For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. 1 Peter 2:19-23

This should encourage her and help her to hold on to the fact that as a person suffering an unjust abandonment she can experience loads of amazing grace (favor) to go through this time in her life.
The remaining part of this passage- vv 21-23 points her to Christ as the example as to how to suffer.

 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,  who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously…

I would also have her work on memorizing Romans 12:12-21 in addition to this passage. You will encourage her to turn the justice for this wrong over to God, and that He WILL judge this case righteously.

Teach her that her job right now is to remain on the side of righteousness in every phone call, court appearance, child visitation, and interaction she has with her husband. Regardless of what he says or does, she is to do what is right, because this is what honors and glorifies God.