I am very pleased to announce that Linda Rice will be joining the Guest Blogger rotation! Linda is a Master's Level Biblical Counselor and has written a great book on Reactive Attachment Disorder from a biblical perspective. You can find Linda's blog here.
In the post Aimingat Trustworthiness
I called for a shift of aim from seeking to
gain a child’s trust or attachment to the target of cultivating
trustworthiness. In application of the Log and Speck Principle of Matthew
7:1-5, let’s start with ourselves. Convincing a child to trust us is not our
responsibility. Being trustworthy in the eyes of God is. Nevertheless, while
you are accountable to God, your child is also watching. Your life presents a
model. Therefore, a parent’s practice of trustworthiness can help the child
cultivate the same. Consider the following questions to examine your own
Do what you say you will do to your
Do you promise a fun outing or
activity and then renege? Do you follow through on promised consequences for
misbehavior or are your threats merely dry thunder? If you don’t do what you
say, why should the child believe you?
Do what you say you will do with your
When taking your child to
appointments or events, do you arrive a little early or are you consistently
late? When picking your child up after an appointment or event, does your child
find himself consistently waiting on you because you arrive after the time when
you said you would get him?
Do what you say you will do toward others.
are you modeling for your child as he watches your treatment of others? Do you
agree to meet a friend for lunch and then back out for no good reason? Do you
agree to meet someone at 2:00 but you don’t show until 2:05? Are you always
running late? Do you fail to return phone messages or texts or emails?
When you get an invite on Facebook, do you often hedge with a click on
“Maybe” rather than commit to either attend or decline?
Be responsible in your personal habits.
you frequently leave a job undone? Then don’t be surprised if your child leaves
a chore half finished. If you want better than sloppy homework from your child,
then practice better than sloppy housework (or dress or work habits).
Are you inconsistent in church attendance? Do you make
excuses for your failings? I frequently hear parents blame their kids for why
they are late or don’t make it to a church service. “It’s so hard to get the
kids ready.” Parents, your children hear you blame them and hear you making
excuses. If you do this, then don’t be surprised when they someday soon excuse
themselves to you. (This doesn’t imply that you should accept it, but if you
are guilty you will be tempted to. So make sure you have no cause for guilt.)
because it honors God.
Then you won’t have to worry
about what you are modeling before your children.
Labels: Guest Blogger