Stop Talking!

Words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious, while the lips of a fool consume him; the beginning of his talking is folly and the end of it is wicked madness. Yet the fool multiplies words.  Ecclesiastes 10:12-14a (NASB)

Because my ministry is primarily to women I spend a lot of time listening. I can safely say with some authority that some women simply talk too much for anyone's good. 

I see this problem when women come in with their husbands for counseling. Sometimes I see a woman talking over her husband. He will be speaking and she (being the consummate mind reader) "knows" how he will finish his sentence and saves him the trouble. She often answers questions he has not asked yet! 

I see this problem in all kinds of women in social situations. In a gathering, the woman who talks too much is often avoided. Everyone seems to know she has a lot to say about absolutely nothing. Her talk is empty chatter intended to fill the void of silence. Sometimes she gossips or maligns others believing that what she has to tell them is valuable information. 

I am willing to bet we all have known someone like this at one time in our lives. Maybe upon reflection you are wondering if you are one of them! 

Here are a few things to get you thinking today, can you answer "Yes" to any of these questions? If so, you may be a woman who talks too much.
When a multitude of words are coming forth there is such a great danger of ungodly speech! It becomes so easy to embellish a story, add details that are not true, or say things that are unkind and hurtful. 

In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise. Proverbs 10:19 (NKJV)

Here are some other ways women talk too much:
Babbling about nothing (Proverbs 10:8); Idle talk (1 Timothy 1:3-7); Gossip (Proverbs 20:19); Unwholesome talk (Ephesians 4:29); Busybodies (1 Timothy 5:13); Harping (Proverbs 27:15); Complaining (Proverbs 21:19); Grumbling (Philippians 2:14)

Ladies, there is much to be said about silence and meditation, even when you have an opinion. There is no shame in listening quietly, or silent agreement. In fact, it may be the better part of wisdom! 

Talking reveals much more about us than we realize. Talking too much reveals what is going on in her heart.  A woman who talks too much is revealing a heart of fear, a heart of selfishness, and a heart of pride. 

 "But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man." Matthew 15:18 (NASB)

Women who talk too much are typically fearful. They are fearful of not being liked or accepted by their peers and mistakenly believe that if they are verbally visible they won't be invisible, ignored or unimportant.  A woman who talks too much is not living out Phil. 2. She is not considering others as more important than herself. It reveals a heart of selfishness.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; Philippians 2:3 (NASB)

A woman who talks too much is most likely not a submissive wife either. She may believe her opinion is more important than her husband's, or anyone else's. 

There are ways to express an opinion and to tell someone what your perspective is on a situation. However, often women who talk too much are unable to keep it to a suggestion. When her opinion is not agreed to it becomes a battle with barrage of words to convince others her way is right or best. 

If you are a woman who talks too much and you see yourself here in this posting, begin to change this life dominating sinful pattern by asking God to help you to see your heart. David prayed that God would "see if there is any wicked way in me" (Psalm 139) and this ought to be your prayer too. 

As God reveals your sinful heart to you, repent and confess to your husband or accountability partner what you have learned about yourself. Ask forgiveness of those you have wronged or offended by your non-stop chatter, and thank God for His forgiveness as well. 

Keep a little journal of the times you are tempted to sin with your speech and every day or so, go back and look at those entries. Determine what you were thinking, believing, and desiring in your heart at that time. 

Make a biblical plan to change, first by having your mind renewed by the Word of God (Rom. 12:2) with prayer, and then by making practical plans for when you are tempted to sin this way, as you will certainly be. When you fail, promptly confess it and examine where you went wrong and plan how you will respond differently next time. Sinful patterns can be overcome through mind renewal and a biblical plan for change.