Today's guest blogger is Ellen Castillo.
“Older women likewise are to
be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to
teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and
children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and
submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
I have the
great privilege of being a mentor to several younger women. It has become a
passion of mine to encourage women to mentor the younger generation of women
it does not necessarily take a certified Biblical counselor to address the
needs of the younger generation. I do believe that Biblical Counselors are
uniquely qualified and positioned to address deeper discipleship needs and life
struggles, but so many of people’s problems can be walked through with a gifted
and equipped Mentor.
engaged in intergenerational relationships intentionally over the past few
years. God has blessed this in my ministry, and I have seen the fruit of
fulfilling my own Titus 2:3-5 calling. If you are not spending some intentional
time with women from generations other than your own, you are missing the mark.
I believe Titus 2:3-5 is not just a suggestion - it is a command.
As I write
this, I have asked God to break your heart. He has broken mine - for the things
that break His. My heart breaks for hurting younger women - women who have
suffered from difficult circumstances, women who suffer from mental illness,
women caught up in the bondage of sin and its consequences. My heart breaks for
girls - girls who are from broken homes, girls who carry shame from bad
choices, girls who feel lonely and insecure, girls who have no one to teach
them about Jesus.
In order to
mentor well, your heart must be broken first. You need only to look around your
church to see women and girls who need a Word of hope. Do not be fooled by
outward appearances - shame, loneliness, guilt, suffering, and sin like to hide
behind a facade. If you are a Christian who can articulate a clear Gospel, with
the understanding that it applies not just to salvation but also to
sanctification, you are able to share a Word of hope with a hurting woman. In
fact, you are called to it.
heart is broken, remember The Gospel and all that God has provided for hope and
healing. He binds up the brokenhearted and sets the captives free. I want to be
in on that Good News, don’t you? What a privilege it is to walk alongside
another and see what HOPE God provides for her.
a younger woman AND an older woman at the same time (unless you happen to be
the rare woman who is the oldest and wisest in your sphere of influence!) I
once asked a group of 40 women of all ages at a retreat to write on two
notecards. One card was to be addressed to the older women (all 40 did this,
even the oldest women who felt that some of the others were more spiritually
mature even if not chronologically older). We called these older women the “Big
Sisters.” As they addressed the older women, they were to tell them what they
would like to learn from them.
card was to be addressed to the younger women. Again, all 40 women did this
because everyone has someone who is younger than they are. We called these
younger women the “Little Sisters.” They were to give a Word of hope or advice
to the younger women.
insights from this retreat activity were more profound than I expected. It
broke my heart all over again for the younger generation of women, and it also
confirmed my passion to serve them, especially the hurting. We displayed these
cards throughout the retreat, but there were a few cards handed to me privately
by women who asked that they not be displayed in that context. I have changed
slightly the quotes in order to protect their privacy, but the insights are
just a small sampling of those insights in hopes that it will spark a desire in
you to consider the ministry of Biblical Mentoring. I will not be commenting on
these insights, because I think that they speak for themselves.
break your heart for what breaks His.
messages were written as older women to the Little Sisters.
love with Jesus. You are not alone. You have Our Lord with you at all times.
You also need to build a relationship with a Big Sister who can show you how to
grow up and walk faithfully with Jesus.”
beauty, confidence, self-worth, and esteem from God alone.”
think I have much to offer you. I don’t have a big testimony, and I don’t feel
adequate to help you with your life’s struggles. I am so sorry.”
identity is in Christ and His love and sacrifice. That’s much more important
that any self esteem.”
had an abortion and I’ve never told anyone. If you have had one, please tell an
older woman and ask her to help you to heal.”
us for judging you. We, too, have our insecurities. Just ask us about that.”
never regret your life, if it is spent following Jesus and seeking His face.”
rush through the seasons of your life. They are meant to be enjoyed.”
afraid to come right out and ask me for what you desire from me.”
those taboo questions. I won’t be shocked, I’ve had them too.”
do want to spend time with you. I’ve just been afraid to ask. I am afraid you
will reject me.”
younger women to the Big Sisters:
*”Be a good
listener and encourage me.”
afraid of how the older generation will judge me because of my past. How do I
get over that insecurity?”
very busy. I hate to take up your time. I don’t think I am worth it.”
how to love someone who says they don’t love the Lord anymore.”
*”How do I move
on from my mistakes?”
like I am all alone. I am afraid to approach you.”
*”How do I
trust God with my children who don’t want to follow Him?”
encouragement through many trials. Please help me.”
*”How can I
keep my marriage alive?”
shameful mistakes in my past that I am afraid to share. Can I trust you?”
*”Why is it
that no matter how much we know God, we continue to doubt His purpose for our
remind me in all my daily struggles how to keep my eyes on the cross and for
all that I do and say to be Gospel-centered.”
*”I want to
hear your life story. I know you have wisdom. Please share it with me.”
More of these insights can be found in
various resources on Word Of Hope Ministries’ Biblical Mentoring site at www.biblicalmentor.com. Please visit to learn more about becoming equipped to serve through
intentional intergenerational relationships!
Labels: Guest Blogger