Today I am writing to the church,
and the post-abortive woman. Yesterday was Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. It is
the one day a year the church sets aside to remind her people that abortion
kills 3,500 human beings each day and has done so for the past 41 years.
Personally, I think it is unconscionable we talk about it one day a year,
but that is another blog post for another day.
Allow me to give you some
information: statistics reveal that by age 45, 4 in 10 women will have had
an abortion. College aged women (19-24) are among the group of those most
likely to get an abortion.
How does this happen?! It is due
in part to the increased pressure to be sexually active and freedom
from parental accountability. For many young women, college is the ideal
time to be sexually active as they are experiencing adulthood and independence.
Sexual activity and promiscuity are accepted lifestyles among young adults, and
peers often consider a girl odd if she is unwilling to have sex. The pressure
of not being accepted is often enough to push a young woman into becoming
sexually active, even when she has been determined to remain chaste until marriage.
If she gets pregnant, those
who encouraged her to have sex will encourage her to have an abortion as a
“safe, legal” and harmless answer to her problem.
All a person's ways seem right in his own opinion, but the LORD
evaluates the motives.
Prov. 16:2 (NET Bible)
Did you know, statistics show
that a whopping 93%
abortions are performed for convenience
a mere 1% being performed in cases of rape and incest!
Those encouraging her to abort
will tell her things like a baby would put an end to her life, as she knows it.
They'll say she needs to complete her education and get her chosen
degree; that she can always have another baby later. She may also think it
is the wrong time to have a baby, a baby would mean the death of the dreams she
has for her life.
It doesn’t help that the
woman may have no support from the man who impregnated her that will enable
her to keep the baby. She may wonder about how she would support herself and a
child with no father in the picture. Often he will offer to pay her to
“get rid of it.”
She may fear her parents
learning she is pregnant. When the girl’s parents learn of the pregnancy, some
encourage or order their daughter to abort the baby for the sake of her future,
her reputation, or their reputation. Other parents threaten to cut
off her school funding or cut her off from the family if she refuses to abort
the baby. A lack of parental support or support by the child’s
father will usually push her to have an abortion.
An astonishing number of
Christian women (200,000 each year) choose to terminate their
pregnancies. Since 1 in 6 women in the Evangelical Christian Church have
had an abortion, chances are high that a woman who has had an abortion is
reading this blog right now.
She may have wanted to attend
seminary or Bible College and knew if her immorality was exposed the school
would not admit her, so she had the abortion. As much as we would like to think
otherwise, dating Christians and engaged Christians have pre-marital sex and
they do conceive babies. For Christian couples, abortion is supposed to be the
“quick and easy solution” that will keep sexual immorality a secret from the church.
The pressure to be “sinless” in
graceless churches brings many Christians facing an unplanned pregnancy to
think they have no other choice than abortion. I was grieved to learn some
Christian parents, including pastors and deacons actually force abortion on
their kids. The parents fear the disgrace and scandal that comes with an
unmarried and pregnant daughter. They fear the loss of their ministry position
(1 Tim 3:4).
If you had an abortion,
please pay special attention to what follows. First, I want you to know I do
not condemn you or stand in judgment of you. You may be living with unbearable
suffering and I will not add to your burden of sorrow.
If you had an abortion, you
already know that there are consequences of that decision despite what you were
told. You live with the results of that choice night and day. Those who
support, promote and provide abortion make it look like a quick and simple fix.
It's a way to erase a mistake, a moment of bad judgment. You were told you
would be glad when it was over and your life could go on. What you know now is
abortion is a permanent decision. No matter how hard you wish and pray, the
abortion is a decision that is impossible to take back.
It doesn't matter if the abortion
was 6 months ago or 16 years ago, since the abortion you may be dealing with
emotions you did not expect to be present. You are hurting, grieving,
miserable, and full of shame and guilt. You may struggle with anxiety
attacks, fits of rage, nightmares, flashbacks of the abortion, emotional
numbing, and have difficulty sleeping. You don't talk about these things
because of the shame you carry.
You tend to have destructive
relationships and live a risky lifestyle. You may have thought about
taking your own life or have already attempted suicide. Underneath
it all, you believe you do not deserve anything good in life because of what
you did. The problems you are experiencing do not fade away with the
passage of time, they can’t be ignored forever. If they’re not dealt with, they
will increase in severity.
You see, by having an abortion
you participated in the taking of a human life, which violated your
moral code. Because you chose or participated in the abortion, you may
not feel you have a right to grieve the loss of your baby. This is not the truth;
you can and must grieve the loss of your child. May I encourage you; beseech
you, even beg you to seek help in a biblical counselor? Please know there is
help, healing and even hope in Christ.
The rest of this blog post is
written to the church and the rest of us. It is clear, the emotional
and spiritual consequences from abortion are crippling, yet they are
rarely addressed or discussed in the church. Women who feel separated
from God and are full of fear surround us. What is wrong with us?! There
is no support system to help them process what they have done and deal
biblically with their grief, anger and shame. Many leave the church
because of their guilt and shame. They suffer tremendous pain and live in
a silent world of grief they fear sharing with anyone. They have nowhere to go
for help, which is more than tragic. The church, that should be known for grace
and mercy often harshly judges these women and does not offer help, healing or
hope to them.
We must change this. We must
minister to the post-abortive women in our churches and in our circles of
influence. We must carry the torch of hope and healing to these women! The
pro-abortion crowd has lied to them and they are dying inside because of
"choice." Get involved and actively stand against human
abortion. Learn the truth about the physical, emotional, and spiritual
complications from abortion. Get trained and offer to serve in a local crisis
pregnancy center. If you can't serve, then donate money to help them carry on
their good work. Learn how you can help the post-abortive woman; it is a
mission of mercy.