Sanctity of Life and Post-Abortive Women

Today I am writing to the church, and the post-abortive woman. Yesterday was Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. It is the one day a year the church sets aside to remind her people that abortion kills 3,500 human beings each day and has done so for the past 41 years. Personally, I think it is unconscionable we talk about it one day a year, but that is another blog post for another day.  

Allow me to give you some information: statistics reveal that by age 45, 4 in 10 women will have had an abortion. College aged women (19-24) are among the group of those most likely to get an abortion. 

How does this happen?! It is due in part to the increased pressure to be sexually active and freedom from parental accountability. For many young women, college is the ideal time to be sexually active as they are experiencing adulthood and independence. Sexual activity and promiscuity are accepted lifestyles among young adults, and peers often consider a girl odd if she is unwilling to have sex. The pressure of not being accepted is often enough to push a young woman into becoming sexually active, even when she has been determined to remain chaste until marriage.

 If she gets pregnant, those who encouraged her to have sex will encourage her to have an abortion as a “safe, legal” and harmless answer to her problem.  

All a person's ways seem right in his own opinion, but the LORD evaluates the motives. Prov. 16:2 (NET Bible) 

Did you know, statistics show that a whopping 93% of abortions are performed for convenience with a mere 1% being performed in cases of rape and incest!

Those encouraging her to abort will tell her things like a baby would put an end to her life, as she knows it.  They'll say she needs to complete her education and get her chosen degree; that she can always have another baby later. She may also think it is the wrong time to have a baby, a baby would mean the death of the dreams she has for her life.

 It doesn’t help that the woman may have no support from the man who impregnated her that will enable her to keep the baby. She may wonder about how she would support herself and a child with no father in the picture. Often he will offer to pay her to “get rid of it.”

 She may fear her parents learning she is pregnant. When the girl’s parents learn of the pregnancy, some encourage or order their daughter to abort the baby for the sake of her future, her reputation, or their reputation. Other parents threaten to cut off her school funding or cut her off from the family if she refuses to abort the baby.  A lack of parental support or support by the child’s father will usually push her to have an abortion. 

An astonishing number of Christian women (200,000 each year) choose to terminate their pregnancies. Since 1 in 6 women in the Evangelical Christian Church have had an abortion, chances are high that a woman who has had an abortion is reading this blog right now. 

She may have wanted to attend seminary or Bible College and knew if her immorality was exposed the school would not admit her, so she had the abortion. As much as we would like to think otherwise, dating Christians and engaged Christians have pre-marital sex and they do conceive babies. For Christian couples, abortion is supposed to be the “quick and easy solution” that will keep sexual immorality a secret from the church. 

The pressure to be “sinless” in graceless churches brings many Christians facing an unplanned pregnancy to think they have no other choice than abortion. I was grieved to learn some Christian parents, including pastors and deacons actually force abortion on their kids. The parents fear the disgrace and scandal that comes with an unmarried and pregnant daughter. They fear the loss of their ministry position (1 Tim 3:4).  

If you had an abortion, please pay special attention to what follows. First, I want you to know I do not condemn you or stand in judgment of you. You may be living with unbearable suffering and I will not add to your burden of sorrow. 

If you had an abortion, you already know that there are consequences of that decision despite what you were told. You live with the results of that choice night and day. Those who support, promote and provide abortion make it look like a quick and simple fix. It's a way to erase a mistake, a moment of bad judgment. You were told you would be glad when it was over and your life could go on. What you know now is abortion is a permanent decision. No matter how hard you wish and pray, the abortion is a decision that is impossible to take back. 

It doesn't matter if the abortion was 6 months ago or 16 years ago, since the abortion you may be dealing with emotions you did not expect to be present. You are hurting, grieving, miserable, and full of shame and guilt. You may struggle with anxiety attacks, fits of rage, nightmares, flashbacks of the abortion, emotional numbing, and have difficulty sleeping. You don't talk about these things because of the shame you carry.

You tend to have destructive relationships and live a risky lifestyle. You may have thought about taking your own life or have already attempted suicide.  Underneath it all, you believe you do not deserve anything good in life because of what you did.  The problems you are experiencing do not fade away with the passage of time, they can’t be ignored forever. If they’re not dealt with, they will increase in severity.  

You see, by having an abortion you participated in the taking of a human life, which violated your moral code.  Because you chose or participated in the abortion, you may not feel you have a right to grieve the loss of your baby. This is not the truth; you can and must grieve the loss of your child. May I encourage you; beseech you, even beg you to seek help in a biblical counselor? Please know there is help, healing and even hope in Christ. 

The rest of this blog post is written to the church and the rest of us. It is clear, the emotional and spiritual consequences from abortion are crippling, yet they are rarely addressed or discussed in the church. Women who feel separated from God and are full of fear surround us. What is wrong with us?! There is no support system to help them process what they have done and deal biblically with their grief, anger and shame. Many leave the church because of their guilt and shame. They suffer tremendous pain and live in a silent world of grief they fear sharing with anyone. They have nowhere to go for help, which is more than tragic. The church, that should be known for grace and mercy often harshly judges these women and does not offer help, healing or hope to them. 

We must change this. We must minister to the post-abortive women in our churches and in our circles of influence. We must carry the torch of hope and healing to these women! The pro-abortion crowd has lied to them and they are dying inside because of "choice."  Get involved and actively stand against human abortion. Learn the truth about the physical, emotional, and spiritual complications from abortion. Get trained and offer to serve in a local crisis pregnancy center. If you can't serve, then donate money to help them carry on their good work. Learn how you can help the post-abortive woman; it is a mission of mercy.