Recently I was in a major box retail store to pick up something from the pharmacy. As I headed to the counter I stopped dead in my tracks as I encountered an end-cap display containing "pleasure products" based on the book, 50 Shades of Gray. I did not linger, and I don't even think I actually processed what I was seeing. I was simply horrified that I was seeing this stuff in my local mainstream, big box retail store. Right out in the open. Where anyone can see it.
To be clear, I have not read the books, nor will I. However, I don't live in a cave and I am aware of what these books generally are about. Sadly, when this movie is released it will make a zillion dollars. The sexual acts that 50 Shades promotes will unfortunately become more common as this garbage becomes mainstream. Some women will be forever changed as a result of the sexual practices that are promoted as normal and acceptable between two consenting adults.
Husbands and wives are given wonderful freedom in the context of marriage to enjoy each other fully and completely. But, God has given us some restrictions and informed us what He decreed as perversions. Any sexual act, partner swapping, same sex acts, group sex, anal sex, voyeurism, or bondage and torture are all off limits for Christians. There are more items I could list but they only get more disgusting.
Some couples will use 50 Shades for purposes of sexual arousal. They will justify this behavior by saying they actually only have sex with each other but use the movie for ideas, or as a sort of a “jump start” to sex. Let me be very clear: This is not ok.
For this is the will of God for you, that you abstian from every form of sexual immortality. 1 Thess. 4:3
If your husband asks you to participate in any of these things, he is asking you to sin. You must kindly yet firmly tell him you cannot do this because you would be sinning. This is not an area of submission. A wife cannot submit or obey when her husband asks her to sin. God is her higher authority and these things are all forbidden in Scripture (Lev.18; 20:12; Rom 1:27; 1 Cor 5;1; 6:18; Jude 1:7).
By viewing pornography (and this is pornography) alone or with your husband you are sinning with your eyes and your heart (Matt. 5:27-29). All pornography is ungodly, and if you have participated in this kind of behavior you must stop this immediately.
But among you there must not even be a hint of sexual immortality, or of any kind of impurity for this is improper for Gods holy people. Ephesians 5:3.
Discuss this with your husband and confess your sin to God and then to each other. You must then ask each others forgiveness and determine to never participate in these things again. Dispose of any pornography together for accountability sake. Purify your minds by meditating on the Scriptural truths regarding sex.
Once you have confessed your sin to God and each other (when appropriate) asked forgiveness and granted forgiveness you can move on to renewing your mind with respect to sexual intimacy.