Biblical Counseling for Women: A Man Shall Leave His Mother

I have heard about the empty nest and the emotions that it can bring. While I have loved the mommy years and the teen and young adult years with all of our boys, I have looked forward to the time when I wouldn't have to check to see who will be home for dinner, and to not have to plan around concerts and ballgames and work schedules.

Today I am thinking about all the things I will miss. This year, it will just be Larry and I putting up the Christmas tree. There will be a few less ornaments on it as Jakob will be taking 22 ornaments with him when he goes; one for every year of his life. The room at the back end of the house will be turned into a guest room. His big clunky work boots won't be parked by the door anymore either. I will miss his cheery, "Hi Mom!" greeting when he walks in the door every day after class or work. I will miss our occasional dinners together. I will miss having another voice in the house at odd times during the day when he would be studying in his room. I will miss the way the floor creeks over my head when he walks over that one spot… I will miss the sound of his music coming from his room.

The upcoming wedding celebration is a day that we were not sure would ever arrive. Those of you that have followed this blog know that this son of ours went through a terrible time of depression and even a suicide attempt. It is God's grace and mercy that rescued him and allowed no harm to truly befall him. It is God's blessing that he has met his bride. She is a joy and a delight and we welcome her into our family with open arms. We pray their marriage will grow to reflect the love Christ has for His Church. We pray they will both follow Him all the remaining days of their lives.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:22-32 (NKJV)

Soon our son will be a guest when he comes to visit. Of course, this will always be his home, and he will always be welcome here like our other sons and their wives are. But something changes when they get married and get their own place. He will become the head of his own home, with his own wife to lead, and to cherish, and to care for. He will be the one making the hard decisions. He will be accepting responsibility for things that up until this point he has never had to think about before.

As I think back on my years of parenting, I believe that we have done the best job we could do before God to prepare him for adulthood and marriage. We have raised our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. We have taught them the truth, we have endeavored to be good examples of Christ likeness. We have taught them to work hard and to be honest and to love God above all.

You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead."You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. Deuteronomy 11:18-19

It's not until they move out and begin their own home life that you really see what has stuck. That is when you begin to see if the hard work, tears, training, instruction in righteousness; all that you have put into them has made an impact in their lives.